Faith That Matters

Most of the time when I blog I do so to share information with you, the reader. It is a way of giving you a glimpse into the work and ministry God has given us here and to keep you connected. However, there have been a few times, like today, that I write not because you need to read it, but because I need to write it. It is the equivalent of speaking a truth out-loud to remind yourself that it is true. So, bear with me.

Today started with me sitting down to manage the ministry finances. Emily Vance, our US office manager, does a fantastic job of managing our Stateside accounts, but I am responsible for managing our Guatemalan funds. As I finished making entries and generating reports I realized that Hogar de la Esperanza is out of money for the month. I know that there is only three more days in the month, but this is the first time that has happened since we moved to Guatemala. We have seen a steady erosion of our funds with the decreasing exchange rate and increasing gas prices, and we have had several additional expenses this month, including nearly $1000 in repairs to my 4-Runner. This all came together this month to wipe out our account. This was a sobering reality for me. (Note: Our sponsorship program account is healthy, so all children and families are receiving everything to which we committed.)

At the same time, I received the account reports of our US funds and realized that due to a recent decrease in giving and several large expenses, those accounts have been greatly diminished as well. It was a double whammy.

Upon seeing all of this, my mind immediately went into overdrive. I am a problem solver, so my first thought was about what we needed to cut. I went through our list of expenses to see what might be optional. I realized that there wasn’t much that IS optional. Rent, utilities, gas, salaries…none of these are negotiable. We are running on minimal staff (one full-time, two part-time, and one self-funded), so none can be cut. Everyone is serving a vital function. As far as utilities go, we are very controlling of the usage of lights and electricity and are careful with propane. With gas prices topping $5.00 a gallon, we are driving the bare minimum of miles.

So, my next thought was to wonder if I should start cutting back on our village ministry. With gas prices being so high, that would help.

As I was thinking about this, I was also in the process of driving to Las Palmas to pick-up Ponceano and his family to bring them to Hermano Pedro for an appointment. As God would have it, we arrived and immediately found out that Reina needed to come as well, so we rearranged the back cargo area so Gerardo could ride there and planned to head out immediately. But, it was not to be. Before I knew it, we were surrounded by people who were seeking assistance. Two under-nourished children, an elderly lady with very high blood-pressure and assorted others suddenly became a part of our schedule. And, as I met with each of them, my mind kept going back to our declining financial situation. I found myself seeing each person through the lens of how much it would cost to help them.

We left Las Palmas and headed to Siniquina, where Ponceano’s mother knew of a man in need of assistance. We had to stop and get directions at a church, and when we did the pastor asked us to also visit a lady from her church who was very sick. (Are you starting to see a pattern of how these trips grow and spread?) We visited the man, Luciano, first who has diabetes and has gone blind from it. He continues to deteriorate because he is not on insulin and believes it doesn’t help. We begged him and his wife to seek medical assistance immediately and get him on insulin.

From there we went to visit Elvia, a 37 year old lady who seems to be severely anemic, malnourished, and has a racing pulse and low oxygen saturation. The family is completely broke, with very little food, so we gave them money to get her to the doctor immediately.

We finally pulled into Antigua this afternoon, much later than I had planned. We got both Ponceano’s family and Reina settle in at Casa de Fe and scheduled to see doctors at 7:00 am tomorrow. Then we started our drive home.

Let’s pause for a second to allow you to guess what happened. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------That’s right, my 4-Runner overheated again.

Now, in the middle of all this I kept hearing God’s voice whispering to me persistently:

Do you trust me?

Of course I do, God! If not, I wouldn’t be here doing this!

Do you trust me?

Yes, God! I trust you! Just show me what I need to do to fix this!

Do you trust me?

Would you please stop asking me that?!? I trust you!

If you really trust me, then why are you considering cutting ministry in the face of this challenge? Since when does your bank account decide what I want you to do?

Man! I hate it when He does that! It was a woodshed moment of God’s loving discipline that hurt because I saw so clearly my own lack of true faith.

I suddenly realized that this is one of those moments when God is testing me to see what kind of faith I really have. Is it a faith that comes and goes with circumstances, or is it a faith that keeps me on course through the storms? Is it a faith made of wet cardboard or faith made of stainless steel? Is my faith insignificant or does my faith matter as more than just words?

So:

• The mechanic is on the way to our home to work on my 4-Runner…again. It is an essential tool of our ministry, so God will provide.
• I will not make a single decision about who to help and who not to help based upon the finances we have (or do not have) in the bank. God is way bigger than that.
• We will be frugal with our expenditures, but not cheap for God’s Kingdom.
• We will do everything God asks us to do and trust Him for every penny we need.
• And that is that.

Okay. I wrote-out these truths and now I feel better. Thanks for reading them. Feel free to hold me to each and every one.

For His Kingdom!

Daryl

Update: We just received a call telling us that Elvia has full-blown AIDS. Please pray for her and her family as there is nothing we can do.