Most of the time this blog is used to keep you up-to-date regarding our ministry here in Guatemala. I consider it personal accountability to our prayer and financial supporters back home, as they deserve to know if we are using their sacrifices wisely. By now you hopefully realize that we are not on some kind of extended vacation. Our weeks are very full of work, and our ministry is growing more rapidly than we can often accommodate. So I no longer feel compelled to report the details of every day. And, since we will be receiving a series of teams over the next month-and-a-half, I wanted to take a moment in the lull before the storm to write on some of my recent ponderings. (I know how dangerous it can be to take a glimpse inside my mind, so proceed with caution.)
I have been thinking a lot recently about money. No, I am not worrying about finances or becoming money-focused. But I have been thinking about its value, or the lack thereof. What good is it? Is it important or not? Why do we often struggle with an over-emphasis on it?
Face it, in the big picture issues money is pretty worthless. One day, when we lie dying, we will not think about the money we have made or the possessions it bought for us. In fact, it will likely be pretty low on our list of priorities at that moment. Likewise, money is of little value when you consider the ways it is often used. How many of us have stretched our budgets to breaking in order to buy the new vehicle that will soon have dents and scrapes and french fries down between the seats (where you can never quite reach them)? How often do we use our money to purchase the new clothing item or electronic gadget thinking it will bring us joy, only to have the emotional high fade quickly but the financial impact lingering for weeks, months or years. How many families have purchase a newer, nicer home thinking it will make life better, only to find that the financial strain only made things worse and their same old problems have followed them to a new setting? Money can be very worthless.
On the flip side, money is a necessity of life. After all, we do need it to feed, clothe and provide a home for ourselves and our families. You can’t do that without money. Money is not evil and can be used for great good. I have seen what money can do. Each month I encounter lives that have been saved by money. (Please don’t send me messages arguing this point. I understand that God saved each of them, but He used the generosity of others to provide the financial means through which He did so.) I work with formerly starving children who are now robust and eating healthily because of money. I have worked with people who were near death, but are now thriving because money provided them with essential health care. I see children who were doomed to a life of poverty due to a lack of education who are breaking the cycle and finding a new life because a financial gift is providing them with schooling.
And as I have thought about these things, I have been deeply convicted about how much money I have wasted in my lifetime. I could never (nor would I want to) count all the money that I have spent foolishly and selfishly during my 44 years of life. Not only that, but my heart breaks for how selfish I was as a pastor of Jesus’ church for so many years. How many times have I convinced myself the my family, my church or I needed something and spent money to buy it, when it was nothing more than a frivolous self-indulgence? How many times have I withheld a gift to a real need until the “needs” were met in our own family or church? I shudder as I think of that waste and poor stewardship of God’s gifts.
Obviously, money is neither inherently good nor evil. Neither is it inherently valuable nor worthless. It is simply a tool, and how we use it determines both its goodness and value. Used for self-indulgence it becomes damaging to both us and the world around us. Used for good, it brings glory to God, enhances our lives and makes this planet a better place.
During our 23 plus years of marriage, Wanda and I have never been wealthy by a US standard. I have been a youth pastor and pastor and I have started a new ministry. In none of those positions did we receive a large salary. However, during those years we did successfully build a large family. Small paycheck…large family…you do the math. As a result, we never lived an extravagant lifestyle by America’s standard of extravagance. And yet, we still had our share of waste. Looking back now, I realize that we could have made little changes to our lifestyle that would have made our money far more valuable. Simple little savings could have resulted in saved lives instead of another item for our home or another soon-to-be-obsolete toy for me or the kids. But, live and learn, and we are still learning.
In December we found ourselves with a chunk of money that was available to spend on ourselves, so we considered purchasing a luxury item that we have wanted for a while. I have always loved the stars and planets and have wanted a decent telescope with which to view them. We now live in the perfect location to own one. Not only do we have a great view of the sky with very little light pollution, but we also have a great view of an active volcano that spews its lava every night. So, after talking and praying about it for several weeks, we decided to stop in and look at telescopes while we were in Guatemala City finishing our Christmas shopping. We found one, and I had pulled out my wallet to make the purchase when God made it clear that we were not to buy it. The entire family left the store a little disappointed, but confident that it was the right decision.
As I drove home that evening I was suddenly hit by a thought that I knew was from the Lord. “If we could afford to consider purchasing a luxury item that we did not need, we could afford to give that same amount of money away!” I immediately turned to Wanda and shared that with her, to which she responded that she had been thinking the same thing. So, after discussing it with the rest of the family, we decided to give that money away to needs that we encounter. We have now given half of it away and are prayerfully seeking God regarding where the rest should go.
I hesitate to share that story, because we have always kept our giving to ourselves. I am not sharing it so that you will somehow think that we are noble or giving people. In fact, I want you to understand that we struggle with this issue along with others, even while living among such great need. But I do want to share it as a testimony, because we have found far more joy in giving it away to the things that matter to God than we would have ever found spending it on a telescope for ourselves.
I want my life and my money to count for God. Contrary to the bumper sticker, if I die with the most toys I still am dead, and I win nothing for my warehouse full of stuff. So, step-by-step I am trying to learn to use my money and resources the way God intended them to be used. I am still a beginner on this journey and have a long way to go. But with each step…I have more fun!
Enough pondering for now. It’s time to get back to work.
Greetings from Guatemala!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
