Bureaucracy, Incompetence and Lives

There are days when I wonder how many lives have been lost due to the incompetence and bureaucracy of the Guatemalan courts and CNA, but most days I simply don’t want to know. Yesterday was a day that I did not want to know as I realized that another child had been lost by the system.

A few weeks ago we made the decision to accept little Humberto into our home from the malnutrition center, Casa Jackson. That was not an easy decision, but when we realized his plight we felt that we could not say no. So the appropriate messages were sent, papers were filed with the court and we awaited the official order from the judge.

Then last week we received word from Casa Jackson that the judge had contacted CNA to verify our licensing. And this is when the story gets interesting. The worker at CNA told him that we were not licensed to receive children.

Really? Then what is that piece of official paperwork hanging on our wall that says we are? Why are there 13 children that the court has placed in our home? Why are we listed on CNA's official Web site as fully licensed and accredited to receive children? All of these are very good questions. But the biggest question is this: Why on earth does the agency that licensed us and regulates all orphanage licenses in Guatemala not know that we are licensed? The answer is…they do. But some lazy worker did not properly check when the court contacted him because they did not care enough to do so.

So, we immediately sent a copy of our license to the judge, Casa Jackson and CNA to clear up this “confusion.” But, you can probably guess the rest of the story. The judge had already signed the order and sent little Humberto to a state-run orphanage in Guatemala City.

These people who are entrusted with caring for these precious children have tossed aside another child because of incompetence and apathy. And the only thing we can do is pray for little Humberto.

I do know that God is good and in control. I also know that nothing can thwart the plans He has for Humberto. But I am just so tired of seeing those that are supposed to be helping these kids not care enough to even do their jobs. Bureaucracy, incompetence and apathy seem to rein supreme and children are lost in the system and die because of it. We are a family that already loved Humberto. Our doctors were standing by to treat him. Our therapist was awaiting his arrival. Our shelves and drawers are labeled with his name. He already had a place in our hearts and home. And now he is gone before he even arrived. All because someone did not care.

Please pray for Humberto. Pray that the orphanage where he was sent has someone who knows how to care for him properly. Pray that he will be loved and come to know God’s love. Pray that he will have the treatment and therapy he needs. Pray that he will find healing and hope.

And pray for the system, that those who fill it will care enough about these precious children to do their job.

Blessings,

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

On the Road Again (Urgent Help Needed)

Over the last year I have distanced myself somewhat from the rural village ministry. With the opening of our group home and some of the challenges we have faced, I simply have not had time to be as involved with that area of our ministry. And with the addition of the Beyer family and Dale's leadership in the village ministry, I have not been needed very much. However, that is once again changing.

My daughter, Brittney, will be moving to San Pablo La Laguna to begin her educational ministry with children who have special needs. Since a part of my heart will be living there, I have assumed responsibility for the work in that town and the surrounding areas. And since that is one of our larger communities with a lot of families, I will be kept busy.

Yesterday Gerardo, Brittney, Jeremiah and I set out to San Pablo, but we had quite a detour on our way. A few months ago we were contacted by a home building company in the States called Brush Arbor Homes. They have a wonderful business model that results in them building a home in the third world each time they build a house in the US. So they emailed me and asked if I knew of two families that needed homes. Of course, the answer was "Yes!" but the challenge was choosing which families would receive them. After consulting with Pastor Efrain who ministers in San Pablo, we chose two families with children who have special needs, Gerber and Javier. Gerber is 19 and has severe cognitive delays, autism and a seizure disorder. Javier is 3 and is missing his lower leg and foot and part of his hand.Both families are very poor and were living in desperate conditions, so they were excellent choices to receive homes. Those houses have both been built by Pastor Efrain's ministry and paid for by Brush Arbor Homes. So we set out to visit them both and see their new homes.

We met Pastor Efrain in Panajachel and drove to Gerber's new home. It was a drive that took about 1 1/2 hours over some very rough roads, but we managed to make it in one piece. But once the drive was complete we still had a walk ahead as his village was not passable by vehicles. We walked down a steep hill and then crossed a footbridge above a ravine before arriving at his house. This walk is amazing when you consider that the men who built their home had to carry every cinder block and bag of cement and mortor on the 400+ meter walk.

When we arrived we found a very enthusiastic Gerber who would not sit down and relax until every one of us was seated. He had recently had a seizure and had hit his head when he fell, but that did not seem to slow him down. We visited with him, his siblings and his parents as they repeatedly thanked us for providing the home. We, of course, repeatedly told them that we had done almost nothing in the process except choose them and pass along the money. It was Brush Arbor who paid the expenses and Pastor Efrain and his crew that did the work alongside their family. We also explained that it was a gift from God to them because of His great love and concern for them.

During our visit we discovered that the father works in the fields for about Q.700 a month (about $92 US). His son's anti-seizure medication costs them Q.175 (about $23 or 1/4 of their monthly income). So I told them that we would be seeking a sponsor for those medications. If you would be willing to help this precious family by sponsoring them for $23 a month, please write me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.

It was while we were visiting with them that their pastor mentioned that there was another girl with special needs who lived close by. He wondered if we would like to visit with her family as well. So we started walking again. This journey led us down a steep ravine where we found their home perched. There we met Lirria, a young woman with down syndrome who lived there with her family of seven. The pastor asked if they could be the next home we built. We told them we would pray and talk with Brush Harbor

After saying goodbye we walked back across the footbridge and up the hill to my truck and headed to our next destination, another 2 1/2 hour drive. There were no decent places to eat within a couple of hours, so our lunch consisted of snacks from a tienda. But we were excited to see Javier and his new home.

Alas, it was not to be as about an hour into our drive we hit a traffic back-up that stretched for miles. After sitting still for about an hour we decided Javier would wait for another day and turned back to head to San Pedro where we would overnight in a motel. We finally landed safely about 10 hours after leaving home and crashed for the evening.

So yesterday we spent about 10 hours on the road and only visited two families. Today was a different story as we visited with 14 families in a town that is about 1/4 mile by 1/2 mile. Quite a difference, eh? But what a day of ministry it was.

 

 

 

 

Here are some of the families that we spent time with today:

Marta Delores - When we first met this young girl she was seizing most of the night. She had not slept well in months and her grandmother was exhausted. Since visiting our neurologist and receiving medications through her sponsor she has been seizure-free and sleeping wonderfully.

 

 

Maria - Maria's mom was very skeptical when we visited and offered to help them with a wheelchair and monthly food. But now we are met with a big smile and a hug each month. Maria is growing quickly, so we made adjustments to her chair today, and she smiled the entire time.

 

 

Pablo Michel - This young man was nearly catatonic when we met him, staring in a daze and seldom responding. He suffered dozens of seizures each day, and his family was desperate. Now he is seizure-free and happy. He has cognitive delays, but the medicines our doctor prescribed has helped him tremendously.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael - This little guy and his mom, Juana, were desperate. She had gotten pregnant at age 15 and found herself with a child who has special needs at age 16. Her family disowned her and she was alone and scared. We have a sponsor for them now and provide food and money for therapy each month. About eight months ago we took a plunge and decided to give her a micro-loan of $125 to help her start a business that sells merchandise that cannot be found in San Pablo. And that business is now thriving. She recently sold out her entire inventory and had to make a special trip to a distant town to restock. She is repaying her loan faithfully each month.

 

 

 

 

Lucia - A little over a year ago Lucia could not sit or lay flat in bed. Her back arched severely and she was in constant pain from seizures and spasms. Now she is smiling, seizure-free and able to sit and lay comfortably in bed thanks to the medicines a sponsor provides each month.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These are just a few of the kids in San Pablo whose lives are being changed due to people such as you who give to sponsor them each month. (Just a reminder...when you sponsor a child through Hope for Home Ministries, 100% of your donation goes directly to the child. Not one penny is withheld for administration or expenses.)

But now I need to share a desperate need with you. This will likely be a very expensive need that will require lots of people working together. But it one of the rare opportunities we have to actually prevent special needs.

Little Yosselin is two months old. She was born with spina bifida and hydrocephalus. We met her last month when we visited town, and we stressed to her parents that she needed a shunt installed soon to relieve the pressure in her head before permanent brain damage results. They agreed to take her to the national hospital in Xela and see the neurologist and arrange the surgery. So we were anxious to visit with them this month. However, the parents informed us that the neurosurgeon told them that the shunt could wait until later. I confess to you, my blood boiled at this point. I wanted to drive to Xela and punch a doctor.

As I sat there and held little Yosselin I could see that her head had grown considerably in the last 30 days and the pressure was building. She needs surgery and she needs it now, before her brain is permanently damaged. So we called our neurosurgeon to arrange an appointment for this Friday. They are taking the bus to Chimaltenango and we will transport them to the city to see the doctor so he can schedule the surgery. However, we expect the surgery to cost $8000-10,000 US (although we will not know for sure until Friday). Once we know, we will need your help quickly to raise the funds. We have a small window to get this surgery before she is permanently brain damaged.

Please be in prayer for Yosselin and her family. And please stay tuned for more information coming soon.

We are now back at our hotel hoping for some much needed sleep before I drive home tomorrow. I am also giving my truck a much deserved break as she has stopped speaking with me because of the pounding I have given her over the last 36 hours. But before I crash for the night I want to take a moment to thank each of you who pray and give to make this ministry possible. I am honored to work alongside you to change lives and proclaim the name of Jesus!

Because of Him!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Power of a Parent

There are very few moment in my life that I would qualify as life-changing, but one of those occurred in 2007…

Wanda and I were seated in a governmental office in China where we had just met our soon-to-be-adopted son, Joshua. From the beginning Josh was a go-getter and had shown us that quality in our first 15 minutes together as he used his awkward, yet efficient and speedy, crawl all over the room. He was a bundle of energy, speaking rapidly in Chinese and darting across the room after the toy car we had given him.

But our translator interrupted his play and called him over beside her. He sat there with a serious expression on his face as she spoke quietly to him. Occasionally he would look over at us with a puzzled expression and then turn back to the translator with a question. More talk would follow. Finally, after about five minutes, the translator turned to us and said,

“I have been trying to explain to him that you are his mom and dad, but he doesn’t know what a mom and dad are. You are just going to have to show him.”

At that moment it felt as if the universe shifted. Everything changed. For the last 18 months I had been working full-time in orphan ministry with The Shepherd’s Crook Ministries, so I thought I knew what was at stake for orphaned children. I had left behind the pastorate in order to serve those children, so how could I not. But suddenly I realized that I had only scratched the surface.

My new son, abandoned at age two on a train, had spent the last two years and nine months in a special needs orphanage and was approaching his fifth birthday. And this little guy had no idea what a mom and dad was. He didn’t even have a frame of reference on which to build. And, in that moment, Wanda and I vowed to teach him what a mom and dad is.

I remember placing him on my shoulders for the first time. At first he was scared and grabbed two handfuls of my hair to hold to, nearly yanking it out by the roots. But within 15 seconds he had realized that I was holding him and would not let him fall. And he began to laugh with a belly laugh that was contagious to everyone around us. It was a beautiful moment as he discovered that his daddy’s shoulders are a safe place to be.

Later, at our motel, he broke down crying. We aren’t sure what triggered it, but I suspect it was simply the overwhelming changes that had suddenly engulfed his life. We found him lying quietly on the floor behind our bed, sobbing with his face buried in the carpet. So Wanda gently lifted him and sat with him on a chair. He laid his head on her chest and cried until he slept. I captured that moment is the photo posted here. He awoke a little later, once again happy and ready to face the world. And for the first time he realized there was a safe place of comfort where he could go to cry. He discovered a mother’s arms.

These and a thousand other lessons followed. He learned that a mom and dad are people who listen. He learned that a mom and dad discipline. He learned that a mom and dad believe in him. And he learned (on a sidewalk in China) that dads get very angry when someone says something mean about his child. (Another story for another time. Remind me to tell you about how I nearly went to a Chinese prison.) And, above all else, he learned that a mom and dad love. By the time we landed on US soil 10 days later, he had a pretty good idea what a mom and dad is. And those lessons still continue today, seven years later.

But this experience forever changed me as I began to wonder how many other children do not know what a mom and dad is. And I had trouble sleeping as I thought about the ramifications of that omission in their lives. Because the absence of a mom and dad goes much deeper than just earthly love and care.

Stop and think about it. Why did God create the role of father? It was not just to provide an earthly caregiver. It was to help us understand who He is. He was Father before any human was father. Before Cain and Able were ever conceived, he was Father to Adam and Eve and shared the intimacy of that relationship with them. And it is through that earthly relationship that we better understand Who God is and how He sees us.

The first time I held my daughter, Brittney, in my arms I learned more about God than four years of theology classes had taught me. I understood better what His love and mercy and passion and sacrifice really is all about. And it is through my love, imperfect as it is, that my children learn about who God is. God created parenthood to help us understand His love and the way He sees us.

So if a mom and dad are stripped away from a child then that child will be greatly hindered in understanding God and His love for them. How will they ever come to understand that a Heavenly Father loves them when there is no earthly father to show them that kind of love? How will they ever understand that their Heavenly Father wants what’s best for them and can be trusted unless they see that mirrored in earthly parents? How will they ever learn that they can be lifted safely by God to new heights on His shoulders if they have never ridden safely on their earthly dad’s shoulders? And how can they ever know that they can crawl into the comfort of their Heavenly Parent’s lap and arms if they have never known the comfort of an earthly mommy’s arms? I am not saying it is impossible for an orphaned or abandoned child to learn these things, just that it becomes much, much, much more difficult.

And so, it became our mission to do everything in our power to assure that every child knows, first-hand, what a mom and dad are. That drive led us to start Hope for Home Ministries in 2008. It led us to move to Guatemala in early 2011. (This picture was taken during a long night at the airport in Washington DC. I still remember the excitement and fear of that move as we headed into an uncertain future.) It led us to start Ministerio de Esperanza in the Spring of 2012. It led us to open Hogar de la Esperanza in August 2013 and fill it to the brim with children who need a family. And it is leading us as we move ahead, trusting God every step of the way.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Good question. I guess it is because we need your help. We need you to be a parent to the parentless. And you don’t have to move to Guatemala to do so.

Look around you. Likely you are surrounded by children who need a mom and/or a dad. The fallen nature of man has stripped away what God intended every child to have, but you can fill the gap.

In your neighborhood and church you will likely find some or all of the following:

• A family abandoned by the husband and father, and a tired mother trying to make ends meet.
• Children whose have one or both parents who are withdrawn or absent due to alcoholism or drug abuse.
• A child who has been removed from their home by Family Protective Services.
• A widower trying to raise his children without their mom.
• You can probably think of more.

One of the greatest and most important ministries you could ever do it to fill the gap left in these children’s life by become a surrogate parent to them. Through such a relationship you can bind up wounds and help them come to understand and know the perfect Parent who can forever heal those same wounds. I can think of no higher calling than this: Be a parent to the parentless.

Men, reach out to that boy whose father is absent. Take them to the game. Teach them to hunt. Help them pick-up the game of golf. And in the process, take time to listen, love and mentor. Show them what a real dad is.

Women, look for the children who need a mother and love them like your own. Let them learn your arms and your home are a safe places to be. Teach them who a mom is so they can learn to trust and believe. Show them what a real mom is.

And don’t forget to prayerfully consider becoming foster parents or adopting a child waiting for a home. Also, don’t forget that if you are drawn to be a parent of international orphans, we have a place for you.

There is not doubt that this mission of becoming parents to the parentless is important to God. He instructs us repeatedly to care for the orphaned and the fatherless. In fact, He tells us that this concern and action on their behalf is one of the key distinguishers of true religion (James 1:27). As the church, this should be a part of our mission, and it goes hand-in-hand with evangelism and discipleship.

Together, let us make this our mission so that every child, in the US and around the globe, will know what a mom and dad are. And, in turn, will know their Heavenly Father as well.

Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

The Battle with Want

Last week I had the opportunity to fly to the States for a few days to be a part of my daughter, Teisha’s, wedding. It was a quick trip (I arrived in Dayton late Thursday evening and flew out again very early on Sunday) but it was a special one as Wanda and I were able to visit with friends and family, see two of our daughters we haven’t seen in a long time and finally meet our grandchildren (Tristan, age 3 and Allison, age 4 months). There is not much that we miss since moving to Guatemala, but family and friends are at the top of that very short list. It was so nice to finally hold my grandkids.

Our schedule was packed full with family and friends, US drivers license renewal and shopping. There are quite a few things that we cannot buy here or are cheaper in the States, so we took the opportunity to go to Walmart and Meijer and make some purchases. I was not prepared for what I found there.

We do have Walmart in Guatemala now. They opened stores about two years ago, so we shop there once a month. However, the stores here do not have anywhere close to the selection of US Walmarts. I was literally overwhelmed by the choices and merchandise available. A trip down the candy and cookie aisle yielded 12 different kinds of Oreos and 9 kinds of M&M’s. And at one point I found myself in the men’s underwear section looking like a deer caught in headlights. I mean, I just wanted regular men’s underwear, not boxer briefs with a micro pore sweat dispersal system and Bluetooth capabilities. Everywhere Wanda and I turned we were met with an overwhelming number of choices.

In some parts of these stores I found myself getting disgusted. Do we really need so much stuff? It is ridiculous to have this many choices for basic products. But in other parts of the store my hypocrisy showed through. As I walked through the hardware section I found myself drooling and “needing” tools and gadgets that I did not know existed until that moment. Funny how that happens, isn’t it? The same thing happened when I walked through the electronics department and saw all the handy gadgets for my phone. After all, I really need it don’t I? It will make me faster, more efficient, better organized, blah, blah and blah.

And in the midst of one of those ponderings and justification sessions I caught myself. And it scared me. I could feel the demon of want worming its way into my heart and life…along with its constant companion, discontentment. There I was, a man who works daily with the poorest of the poor, finding my priorities shifted in just a couple of hours of shopping. I put down those luxury items a left the store as quickly as possible.

And this whole experience left me thinking. We often fail to realize that the majority of the US economy is built on marketing wants to people by convincing them they are needs. And the powers-that-be do it pretty well. That is why people with perfectly good iPhone 5’s have been lining up around the block to buy the iPhone 6. It is new, it is different and they are sure they NEED it. That is why shoes come in two million different styles. Yes, you have shoes, but you don’t have THOSE shoes. That is why every other month they come out with a new razor or toothbrush that is no better that the old ones. Because they know we will just have to try it. Over and over again the marketing industry plays us like a violin, and we keep pumping out the same tune. (Insert your own 80’s or 90’s tune to the following lyrics):

I want it! I need it! I really have to have it!

The economy in the States is dependent upon us buying what we don’t need. And this is to the point that if we were to stop buying luxuries and only bought needs the economy would completely collapse. And so, day after day we are faced with marketing and commercialism. Buy, buy, buy! Spend, spend, spend! And we do.

Two days before standing in those department stores I stood in a very different place. I stood in the home of a poor Guatemalan family with dirt floors and a leaky roof. They have a child with cerebral palsy and a seizure disorder and I asked them a question:

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

That is a pretty wide-open question, especially when it is asked of a poor family by “wealthy Americans.” They could have mentioned so many things and I would have understood. A new roof, a concrete floor for their daughter’s wheelchair to roll on, beds, clothing, and more would have been acceptable responses to my question. But without hesitation the father responded, “We have everything we need except the medicine to control my daughter’s seizures.” (As he answered this there were three children playing happily in the corner with their homemade dolls.)

So, how on earth could I find myself two days later trying to justify gadgets and cell phone cases as needs? How could I find myself so quickly almost captured by that culture’s snares? The answer is painfully obvious: The marketers are good at what they do, and I am bad at keeping my eyes on God’s heart.

People often ask us if we are scared to live in a culture like Guatemala with all its crime and violence. My answer is no. But living in America scares me to death, because I fear what it can do to my heart and priorities. I fear losing my soul in the American Dream and awakening (again) to discover it is a nightmare.

And so, my family and I continue to walk imperfectly this line of needs versus wants. I so desperately want to see, act and spend like Jesus. But the voices around me scream loudly in an attempt to drown out His voice, and those screams get a lot louder in the US.

So, to those of you who live in the States I extend my respect and prayers. I pray that you will walk the line much better than I and say no to the voices that scream. I pray that you will "spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed” (Isaiah 58:10a). And I pray that you will lose yourself within the heart of God instead of in the American Dream. That is the call of God that each of us shares.

Blessings and love from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Miracles and Puny Faith

Last night, after around six weeks of waiting for the courts to do their job, we finally received little Ruavis (pronounced Roo-ah-bi) into our home. I have come to expect delays when dealing with the courts, but this time it really bothered me. From the first day we saw his picture and read his story I have felt an urgency to get him into our home. So when they called yesterday morning to tell us they were bringing him, I was overjoyed. And when they called backed later to tell us that they could not bring him due to problems with scheduling, I quickly made arrangements for Manuel and Gerardo to go take care of the paperwork and bring him home.

The moment I saw him I understood the urgency I had been feeling for the last month-and-a-half. Ruavis was in a nearly constant state of seizing with his eyes rolled completely back in his head. In addition, he was suffering from full-body muscle spasms that would bend his head and shoulders extremely far backward. And each time he would spasm he would cry out in pain.

We quickly discovered that he was also covered with lice, so we prepped him to shave his head and give a lice treatment while I consulted the few medical notes that came with him. Almost immediately I realized that he was way under-medicated for child of his age (13 months) and weight. However, our neurologist was not available as it was evening hours. So, after praying for wisdom and consulting dosage guides, I made the decision to double his seizure medication. I still felt this was not enough, but wanted to be conservative to assure that we did not over-medicate him.

Shortly after giving him the increased dosage his seizures stopped and his spasms lessened. Then the exhausted little guy fell asleep. He slept peacefully until around 2:30 am when he awoke with spasms again.

In the midst of caring for Ruavis last night I was overwhelmed with a very foolish fear. Seeing the severe neurological needs of this little boy, I began to realize how much his care was going to cost. (Relax, this is not a plea for money. We don’t do that.) I began to total up the cost of the neurologist, MRI, EEG and general anesthetic that will be required for testing and I was overwhelmed with fear. The total quickly reached over $400.00 without including the incidentals of travel expenses for the appointments and test. And this was only for neurological assessments. And I felt afraid. (Please don’t write to tell me how foolish I am or how small my faith is. It is not necessary. I already know.)

I then went to my computer to send out a prayer request for Ruavis via Facebook. But as I sat down at my computer I heard a ding telling me that I had received an e-mail. So, I clicked on Outlook and saw that we had received a donation via Paypal. The amount was (care to guess?) $462.00. And I heard God whisper, “Daryl, when will you ever learn to trust me?” I cried tears of joy and repentance.

This morning we called our neurologist as soon as his office was open. We could not get in for an appointment until tomorrow, but the doctor listened to the situation and the current medicines and doses, and he immediately ordered us to increase the dosage to more than double my doubled dosage. He also added another type of anti-seizure med. Since we administered these increased meds, he has been sleeping peacefully. I praise God that this little exhausted guy has finally gotten some relief and much needed sleep.

Last night, in the midst of the chaos, Brittney and I were working together with Ruavis. She suddenly looked up at me and said, “I am so glad that we decided to take him!” And when she did, my heart swelled with pride for her. Here we were, dealing with a seizing child that was arching backward and screaming, and she was happy that he was with us. Many people would regret the decision to accept him into our home instead of rejoicing that we did. But Brittney understands a basic truth of ministry…it is not about us. It is not about seeking the easy path or a comfortable resting place. It is about Jesus Christ and His love for the world that He died to save. She was glad that we accepted Ruavis, not because it was easy, but because he needed us…and our comfort was not important.

Last night was about God’s love for Ruavis and the role we are allowed to play in that love story. Face it, the hardest times in life are usually the most significant ones in God’s story. So, from 3:30 am until almost 8:00 am Brittney held and comforted this precious little focus of God’s love. Tonight I will take that responsibility and privilege.

Once again we are feeling God fill us with love overflowing for another little one. And I stand in awe and humility that He allows us to play a role in this incredible story that He is writing.

Likely we will be receiving another little guy into our home next week. We have said yes to little Humberto from the malnutrition center Casa Jackson. With his addition we will have 12 children, six boys and six girls, and our home will be full. We just have no more room and no more man hours to give. We are stretched to the max. But that will not make it any easier to turn away children. I am so glad for the 14 children that we have said yes to (two are now with Jesus), but I ache knowing there are so many more Ruavis, Humbertos, Alejandros, Yenifers, Christians, etc. out there that need a home and love.

So let me get real direct here. I need your help in one of two ways. Please, please, please read these and take them seriously:

1. If you love children with special needs and are feeling called to work with them, please contact me and pray about joining us here in Guatemala. We are praying and trusting God for nine more homes based on this model, but we need the people who will be parents and leaders within these homes. Does this scare you? Good. It scared me to death when I began to hear God’s call to come here and do this work. I can’t promise you it will be easy, because it won’t. But I can promise you that we will walk with you through it all and help you every step of the way. And I can promise you that God is faithful to those who follow His calling.
2. If you are sure that God is not calling you, then please pray that He will raise up others. I mean this. I beg you. Please pray frequently and fervently that God will call people and give a kick to those who have been called but are not responding. Pray that God will give us workers. Please. I write this with tears in my eyes out of desperation to see more homes opened and more children loved with the arms of Jesus.

This morning I dropped Wanda off at the airport. She is flying to the States until Sunday to be home for our daughter, Teisha’s, wedding. I will follow her on Thursday and fly back with her on Sunday as well. Please pray for our home over the next five days as others step up to fill the huge gap that Wanda leaves and then the gap I will leave. This is especially true of our older children, Brittney, Krishauna, Taryn and Jeremiah. Please pray for strength and wisdom for them. Also pray for health in the home during our absence.

Thanks! Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

The Hardest Decisions

I know I have written about this before, but since writing provides cathartic release for me I am doing so again. Please bear with me as I do so.

When we moved to Guatemala to do this ministry I was prepared for a lot of things. I was prepared for struggles with language and culture. I was prepared for long hours and short nights. I was prepared for pee, poop and drool and long battles with Guatemalan bureaucracy (which feels and smells a lot like pee, poop and drool). I was prepared for traffic jams and crowded stores. I was even, to some degree, prepared for death, because I knew we would have to face it eventually. But there is one thing that caught me totally be surprise and, as I look back now, I wonder how I could have missed preparing for it. Yet I was totally blindsided by…

Decisions

On a daily basis I am faced with so many decisions. A call comes in requesting help with medicine, doctor, formula, food, etc. Should we help or not? A child in our home has a cough. Do we call the doctor or wait and see? A child’s brace is broken. Do we try to repair it or is it time to cast him for new ones? A family is not doing their part to care for a child while asking us to do more. Do we continue support, increase support or threaten to cut if off? (Knowing, of course, that it is the child that will suffer.)

So many decisions have to be made every day. And, for the most part, I have adjusted to making them and do so with prayer and semi-confidence. But occasionally I am faced with a decision that leaves me overwhelmed and paralyzed. Two days ago I found myself faced with such a decision and I still have not been able to choose. It kept me awake last night.

Four staff members from Casa Jackson (a malnutrition center in San Felipe de Jesus) showed up at our door on Wednesday afternoon. They had brought with them a little guy named Humberto (pronounced Oom-BARE-tow). He is almost three years old, has cerebral palsy, physical and cognitive delays and a seizure disorder. He came to them malnourished 11 months ago, but quickly gained weight and was ready for release. However, there is no place for him to go. So, he has been living in Casa Jackson for months, even though he is no longer malnourished.

This was actually not the first time that I had met Humberto. Little Olimpia came to us from Casa Jackson, and while we were there picking her up they asked if I would come meet another child. They took me upstairs and introduced me to him and asked if we could take him. At that point we were full, so I told them no. On Wednesday they came to ask us again.

Whenever I post these kinds of stories I usually receive a barrage of well-meaning advise telling me to take the child. They tell me to trust God and receive him or her into our loving family. And I understand their point. But it is not that easy. Whenever we are making a decision regarding accepting a child, we are faced with several considerations:

Financial – The average initial cost of bringing a child into our home is around $800.00. The initial appointments with specialists, blood work, EEG, MRI and X-rays add up quickly. Plus, we are impacted on a monthly basis as well with the cost of more diapers, formula, medicine, therapy, food, etc. While we work hard to not allow finances to play a large role in our decisions, they have to play some role. The children we already have need ongoing care and we cannot jeopardize them.

Staffing – Each additional child requires an increase in man hours. Feeding, changing, providing stretches and exercises, stimulation and the simple providing of one-on-one love requires time. Can we provide all that for another child while continuing to provide it for the existing children?

Family Environment – The way our home operates now is we have staff in our home to assist with the care of the children from 8 am until 5 pm on Monday through Friday. But the Fulp family assumes full responsibility for caring for the children in the evening and weekends. We do that because we want the children to be a part of a family, not a number in an institution. Can we add another child while still providing the family atmosphere?

Space – God has blessed us with a large home, but all of the handicapped accessible areas are almost completely filled. Can we squeeze in another crib/bed?

Numbers – Since opening our home in August 2013 we have said yes to 13 children. (Two are now with Jesus and one is still waiting for a very slow court system to transfer him to our home.) During that same period we have said no to around 120 children. Why? Because we cannot say yes to them all. Otherwise we simply become another overcrowded institution instead of a loving family. The needs of Guatemala are overwhelming and we cannot meet them all. That is just a reality of this life and ministry.

Which brings me back to Humberto who was sitting in my home on Wednesday in desperate need of a family. Casa Jackson is feeding, bathing and clothing him, but they do not have the staff or means to provide him with the attention, stimulation and therapy he desperately needs. Can we say yes and increase our home to 12 children without hurting the 11 that are already here? Is that Jesus in the form of a child that we are considering sending away? What do we say? Yes or no?

And the answer is this: I am a foolish and fallen man who does not know. So, last night I lay in bed thinking, fretting and praying. And today I continue to think, fret and pray.

But there is one thing I do know…this is the part of this ministry that I hate. I wish others could make the decisions and my family and I could just care for and love the kids. But I guess that would be heaven, and that is still to come.

So, for now, would you pray for us and for little Humberto? Please pray that God would make it clear whether he is to be our child or not. Thanks.

Also, please pray for others to join us and open additional homes like this one. Our goal is to one day have 10 such homes, but that can only become reality if we have more people and resources. Are you passionate for children with special needs? Prayerfully consider joining us.

Blessings from Guate!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Identity and Family

Back in July we welcomed little Milton Geovanni into our home. This little guy has been a handful of energy and mischievousness that has kept us on our toes. He suffers from microcephaly and is delayed in his development, but he is gradually making progress in both his behavior and the passing of milestones.

But when he arrived in our home, he faced a much greater crisis than any physical or developmental disability. He faced a crisis of identity. When he showed up at our door, he had no last name, no birthdate, no birth certificate, no health records. He came to us as cute little boy with no discernable past. And that deeply troubled me.

He is not the first to come with us with an identity crisis. When our little Esperanza came last year she had no name as well. As a result, we were given the privilege of choosing her name. And so we did…Ruth Esperanza. And while she was given the legal last name of her birth mom,  we chose to place our last name on her tombstone when she left us. Why? Because a name is not just a name. It is a part of your identity. And Esperanza’s identity was, in part, being a member of our family. We were the ones who loved her and grieved deeply over her passing, so she was a Fulp.

Now we are currently working on behalf of Geovanni to help establish his identity. We took him to a forensic doctor in Guatemala City for exams and testing and they determined his approximate age. As a result, he was given the birthdate of January 23, 2013. The judge also randomly assigned him a last name. And, as I type this, my friend and ministry partner, Manuel, is on his way to Guatemala City to pick up a legal birth certificate for him. So, at last, Geovanni will have a full name, birthday and birth certificate.

But that is not all that is involved in giving him an identity. In fact, that is just a small part. In fact, every child who has entered Hogar de la Esperanza has done so with an identity crisis, even if they had their name and birth certificate. Because identity goes to our very heart and souls, and all of them came with missing or damaged vital parts. And this has broken my heart repeatedly.

Some of our kids came to us abused, and some still carry the physical scars of that violence. For others, the bruised have faded, but the emotional scars remain. It is painful to attempt to hug a child and see them wince because they are expecting a blow. Others were abandoned or neglected before finding our home. Some were cared for, but treated like objects. How do these backgrounds affect a child’s identity? Many arrive feeling worthless and unimportant. They believe their identity has been written, and that identity is unwanted.

That is why our home and all future homes we open will be family-based. A family is a crucial component for instilling identity. Something happens when…

…a child is hugged instead of slapped or punched.

…a child is talked TO instead of ABOUT.

…a child realizes they are important instead of discarded.

…a child is heard and seen instead of ignored.

They begin to realize who God made them to be.

I see it all the time when I look a child in the eye and tell them I love them. I see it when they make someone smile or laugh, not at them but with them. I see it around the dinner table as we laugh and joke and talk, and for the first time a child is a part of it all. It is through family that they learn that they are important, loved and valuable. It is through family that they learn that they have something worthwhile to offer. It is through family that they, and us, really learn to live.

But it does not end there, because there is a spiritual component to identity that is often overlooked. In fact, it is more than a component, it is the core of all we are and all these children are. And our primary role is to help them see who God is and who they are to Him. But we cannot address the spiritual core without first addressing their need for a family.

Face it, it is very difficult to learn to trust a heavenly Father if they have never had a trustworthy earthly one. In fact, it is very difficult to even understand the concept of love without a family who demonstrates it.

So, we have the privilege of being a family built on Jesus Christ who, in turn, provides a foundation on which children can come to know and love God and realize He loves them. The final step is when each of these children realize that they are not only valued by us, but by the God Who created and knows them intimately, and that He is worth following.

So, as Geovanni receives his birth certificate today, he is also receiving so much more. This little guys is loved…deeply and passionately. He is learning that he is important. And I pray, one day soon, he will realized that Jesus is the Author of his identity and is worthy to be followed. That is the prayer I pray for each of the children in our home, whether they be biological, adopted or one of the incredible ones that God has brought to our group home.

But this is not just an issue for children with special needs in Guatemala. It is an issue for you and I as well. Do we know who we are? Do we know we are loved by the One who made us? Do we know whom God created us to be? I pray so.

But as I write this, I am overcome with gratitude. Because, while we are the ones who get the privilege of loving and caring for these children, many of you are the reason we are able to do so. Your prayers, encouragement and support are what continue to make this home and ministry a reality. It is because of the faithfulness of God’s people, such as you, who has moved Hogar de la Esperanza from being a dream in our hearts to a reality at work. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Today may you know your identity in Jesus Christ and live for His glory!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew