A Big and Scary Leap

This is one of those blogs that I am afraid to write. I have been wrestling with this for months now, and have resisted putting it into print because of my fear. But as the vision grows in my heart, I find that I can no longer keep it to myself.

My fear is rooted in the sheer size of the vision that God has placed in my heart. When I was a child, around the age of five, my family and I went to visit the battleship USS North Carolina, and the experience scared me. As I stood on the dock, looking at that towering ship, I felt so very small and insignificant. I remember trembling in awe. It was so big that there was no way I could influence the gentle sway of it in the water at all. That is how I feel right now. There is no way that I can make this vision happen. I am too small and it is too big.

But I am also afraid to address this publically for fear of looking foolish. To the best of my ability to know, I believe this is God’s direction for this ministry. And that conviction has steadily grown. But what if I am wrong? What if I put this out in front of so many and fail? All of my self-doubt and self-esteem issues scream for me to keep it all to myself. But I believe God is calling me to leap off this cliff and trust Him to do the catching. If He doesn’t…splat. But if I don’t jump, He cannot show His faithfulness.

Before I share this vision, I want you to know what this is not. It is not a back-handed way of fundraising. We are committed to trusting God to provide for this ministry without asking for money. He has done this all along and will continue to do so. If we are doing His work His way, He will meet out needs.

Neither is this my way of stepping up as a leader. God does not need my wisdom, vision or leadership, I need His. Modern leadership seminars will talk about developing a clear vision and laying out the steps to get there, but I have not done so to this point, and God has built this ministry. I do not have a desire to have a big ministry, and am not trying to grow it. I simply want to be obedient today, one step at a time, and go where He leads. That is what has brought us this far, and it will take us all the way home. This is simply me sharing what God has placed in my heart.

And the goal of this post is twofold:

1. Accountability – By making it public, I am placing myself in your hands and inviting you to hold me accountable to this vision. I am moving this from a personal vision to a collaborative effort. Please help me.
2. Prayer – The size and scope of this vision is way too big for man to accomplish, especially this very insignificant man. We need to, together, seek the God of heaven to fulfill His vision in and through us. Please pray with me.

Now, on to the vision…

Currently our ministry is operating our group home, Hogar de la Esperanza, and the rural village ministry, Ruedas de Esperanza. The size and influence of these ministries has grown beyond our expectations, and we are a little overwhelmed. We are currently working monthly with 92 families in 18 towns (32 villages). We also work with an additional 33 families on a quarterly or semi-annual basis. In the next three months, we plan to add two new communities to this number and, since these areas are the poorest in Guatemala, we expect the number of families to increase significantly.

Our 6000 square foot home has been filled to the max with children, medicine, bandages, food (in 100 pound bags), diapers, wheelchairs, equipment and more. So one of our first priorities is to find a location that can serve as a separate headquarters for Ruedas de Esperanza. The Beyer family is currently seeking another home to rent or purchase, and as a part of that they are hoping to find a place large enough to accommodate this area of ministry. They and the ministry are currently considering all options to allow for this area of growth and establish a separate headquarters for this work.

But as this ministry grows, God has shown me that we also need to de-centralize the work. In other words, we need to establish ministry centers like the one we are developing here in each of the departments in which we work. (Departments are kind of like states within the country.) Currently we are working in Sacatepequez, Chimaltenango, El Progreso, Esquintla, Solola and Guatemala City. We will soon be adding Chiquimula and Santa Rosa.

The vision is for each department to have a director, a physical address that includes an office, significant storage, and a work area that is suitable for hosting clinics and training. Eventually, we would like to have a medical professional, a therapist and a special education professional in each of these headquarters. We also have the goal of having a birthing center and a trained midwife in each of these locations.

Now this goal is overwhelming and God-sized, even if we go no further. Just this vision alone means seven additional headquarters, along with seven wise and trustworthy men/women of God to serve as directors. Plus the needed therapists, educators, doctors and/or nurses and midwives. And don’t even talk about the money involved in such an endeavor. Oh, yeah…and the administration involved.

But that is the direction we need to go. I am confident of this.This will enable us to save money on transportation, lodging and more, while having people available in the communities as resources and ongoing help instead of a once-a-month visit. So that is the direction in which we are heading with God’s help.

But it doesn’t end there, and this is where it gets really scary. I believe God is calling us to develop these centers in every department in Guatemala. In case you are not aware, there are 22 departments. Yep…you read that right. 22. And as I consider that, the map of Guatemala looks really big, and I feel really small.

At the same time, we continue to feel God’s pull to open more group homes, ten in total. All of these will be located close to us, here in Sacatepequez. The children will be brought by the courts from all over the country, but having them located locally will enable us to share resources between the homes while being close to the best doctors and resources available in the country.

As I stand here on the dock looking at this battleship, I feel so very small. This task is enormous and cannot be done by man. We need God, which means we need prayer. Will you please pray with us for:

1. Quality men/women to serve as directors as we open these headquarters, one at a time.
2. Financial resources to pay the increased monthly expenses of these headquarters and the additional families that will come seeking assistance as a result.
3. Medical professionals, including doctors, nurses and midwives to join us in our work. (We also need a neurologist soon for our current work.)
4. Special education experts to join us.
5. Couples/families to join us to open additional group homes.
6. Wisdom from God to know what steps to take and when to take them.
7. Courage in the face of fear and resistance.

So, there you go. Now it is out there, and I can’t take it back. For better or for worse, I am jumping and trusting. And even in the midst of my fear I truly believe that the God Who has always been faithful before will be faithful again.

Care to jump with me?

Because of Him,

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew