Will I Die?

On February 28th I left the United States convinced that I had laid down my life for the call of God. Over the years, our family has been asked by our Lord to make sacrifices of finances and security repeatedly to follow Him. And, for the most part, we have done so without hesitation...at least much hesitation. So, as I departed with our team of nine for Antigua, my prayers were mainly for God's work in their lives so that they, too, would take up that call.

Little did I know that God would break me down in order to rebuild me. And the focus of that work was the large amount of "things" to which I still cling. In essence, the crux of the issue was my own selfishness.

Every church attender who has heard more than a handful of sermons has heard the passages before:

• Luke 14:33 - In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
• Romans 12:1 - Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship.
• Matthew 16:24 - Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. "

They make good sermons, as long as you don't push the point too strongly. After all, we don't want to offend anyone or set the bar too high. So, these are usually presented as abstracts, not as specific and urgent mandates on churches and the believers that fill them. We prefer to keep these verses on the back burner of our faith and convince ourselves that we would be willing to give our all...if it were to be required of us.

And therein lies the revelation of God to me as I sat holding a little girl named Gloria in Hermano Pedro. It is required of me. Right now. Urgently. And it has been required of every believer since Jesus interceded in history. A passionate call from the Father to His children asking us to lay down our lives in order to touch and change a dying world. And His call includes this truth, He gave His all to reach, save, and adopt us as His own, what will we give to do the same for others? Will we die to ourselves? Are we willing to literally die to follow our Redeemer's call?

The church has become extremely nearsighted. (As a pastor for nearly 20 years, I include myself in that statement.) We have reached the point at which we have difficulty seeing with Christ's eyes beyond the walls of our facilities that we call churches. And as that disability has increased in severity, the importance of life within those walls has increased in our own minds. So, we become justified in our preoccupations with meetings, committees, programs, budgets, and a miriad of things that has grabbed the attention of congregations and their leadership. And we become convinced that these things are close to the heart of God. And we correctly assume that none of those things require real sacrifice on our part.

But meanwhile, outside those walls, lies a world filled with Glorias, and Luises, and Lionels. A world wrestling with feeding their children, facing life-threatening diseases, and struggling to find clean drinking water. A world that is hurting and dying, both literally and spiritually. And, in light of that, we must ask, "How much of what we do inside the walls of our churches really matters to God?"

But there is an even greater question. Will I die? Will I give up everything I have, make myself a living sacrifice, and pick up my cross daily in order to be Jesus to that world beyond my church's threshold? Will I lay aside my entertainment, my bank account, my retirement, my home, and my vehicles in order to help and love in Jesus' name? Am I willing to leave my job and uproot my family to follow my Father's call?

Every believer has been called to die to him/herself and follow. More than just an abstract theory, that is a practical mandate on every Christ follower. And I am right in the center of that call. Will I die?