Her surgery is scheduled for 6:00 am on Saturday. As I have access to a computer I will provide an update. The surgery is serious and carries risks, but the risk of not doing the surgery is far greater. Please keep her in your prayers.
Blessings!
Daryl
Last week I shared that Angelita is struggling. She has almost stopped eating and has recently began vomiting. We feared that the pressure on her brain from her hydrocephalus was increasing, and yesterday that fear was confirmed. We received the results of her tomography, and they show that the fluid pocket in the middle of her brain has increased in size, compressing her brain against her skull.
In the past our neurosurgeon told us that he could not do surgery to install a shunt, as the removal of fluid would result in her brain collapsing on itself. However, the rapid decline in her condition has moved us to seek out other surgeons.
Last night I shared the results for the tests on Facebook, asking for prayer. My friend, Dennis McCutcheon, saw the post and got involved. He works with Vine International here in Guatemala, and they do amazing medical missions. He immediately put us in contact with a different neurosurgeon, and I sent him Angelita's scans.
This doctor believes that he can install a special shunt that will relieve her pressure without causing her brain, which is hollow, to collapse in on itself. He has offered to do the surgery for free (Praise God!), but we will have to pay for the hospital, anesthesiologist, meds, and other expenses. These will likely cost between $2500 and $3500. The surgery will have to happen quickly, so we cannot wait until the funds are raised to proceed. So we will be moving forward, trusting God to supply the funds.
We do not fund raise for our ministry expenses, but we do for specific needs of children. If you would like to help, you can donate in two ways:
If you donate, please send me an email at daryl@hopeforhome.org to let me know the money is coming. Please note: 100% of your gift will go to the need. Thanks so much!
Please pray for our girl. We have an appointment with the surgeon today at 2:00 and will know more then.
Blessings!
Daryl
I know…two blog entries in a week. Here’s to hoping no one suffers a heart attack from the shock.
Over the last few months there are several things with which I have struggled as I have sought to hear God’s voice and understand His direction for me, my family and this ministry. Imagine that God is speaking in His still, calm voice while other voices shout loudly. There is an occasional, short silence as the yelling voices take a breath, and in those moments God’s voice is clear and strong. Then the yelling begins again, threatening to drown out the voice I most need to hear.
Thus far I have been able to cling to His voice through the moments of shouting, remember the words He spoke when I cannot hear them. Other times I am able to tune out the other noise and hear Him, even when the shouting continues. But still the voices are there.
Let me explain the yelling voices to you before you arrange to have me committed to a mental health facility. The two loudest voices are 1) Fear and 2) Popular Fiction. And they have very big mouths.
The first voice, fear, is very loud these days. There have been several times in recent months that I have awoken from a deep sleep feeling overwhelmed with fear. This fear stems not from nightmares or boogie men, but from a far bigger monster…finances. I don’t write much about money, except when seeking a sponsor for a child. We make it a point not to share financial needs publically, instead choosing to take those needs to God and allow Him to place it on people’s hearts to give. This is the George Mueller model of ministry, and it has served us well. We do not fundraise for our ministry, allowing God to do it on our behalf.
This posting is no exception to that commitment, so please continue to read. I am not asking for money or griping about finances at all. I am simply sharing my struggle with fear, knowing that some of you are likely facing the same and hoping that my journey and struggle can help.
Over the last six months God has blown the lid off of my vision for this ministry. He has laid before me a plan that is way bigger than me. It is way bigger than anything man can do. And yet He continues to confirm that vision and encourage me to join Him in that work. And I agreed, even though there was a tremor in my voice as I vocalized my willingness to follow.
And from the moment I said, “Yes, Lord”, He began to open doors in front of me and inviting me to go through them. And, with each open door, there has been an increased financial commitment. And that has led to my fears.
We just added another Guatemalan staff member to our team. Joel Caal Rax will be serving as the Director of our ministry in Solola. With that addition, we now have six full-time employees. And with that comes the responsibility of paying both their salaries, benefits and ministry expenses. Meanwhile, the medical expenses within our home and rural village ministry have increased significantly. Special medical needs have arisen, medicines have increased, testing has been required and it seems like we have another doctor appointment every other day. It gets quite scary when I think about it.
And occasionally I do think about it. And the fear rises up. And when that happens, what do I do with it?
One of the things I know is that God is not the author of fear. God leads us, convicts us and challenges us, but He does not give us fear. So, when fear rises up I can know that it is not God speaking. So, in those moments, I simply have to look beyond the fear and ask myself if I am following God’s lead. If the answer to that is “Yes” then the fear actually becomes a confirmation. The author of fear is resisting my direction because he, himself, is afraid. And fear is the only real weapon that he can use against me. (If you are trying to fight the enemy, simply run toward the direction from which the bullets are being fired.)
I have reached the point at which, when the fear is the strongest, I grit my teeth and set my face in the direction I am heading. Forward, for the Kingdom!!! But that does not mean that the voice of fear will stop yelling. In fact, it seems to get louder the further we go. But one of my favorite quotes is this:
“God’s work done in God’s way never lacks God’s supply.” – Hudson Taylor
So I simply have to ask, is this God’s work and are we doing it God’s way. If so, the money, resources and people will come.
The second voice is that of Popular Fiction. What do I mean by that? I mean lies that have been so embraced by the church that they are now seen as settled fact. These are traditions that we believe are rooted in Scripture, but are instead rooted in the “wisdom” of man. What are these Popular Fictions?
1. Conservative Stewardship – Because of the excesses and materialism of the American culture, there has arisen a Christian response in the form of biblical stewardship. And this has been an overwhelmingly positive response. In our credit-driven economy there have been wonderful men and women of God who have risen up to challenge believers to live and spend carefully and intentionally and avoid debt. And I support that model enthusiastically. As believers, we should not be living extravagantly or running up debt. Around two decades ago a wonderful Christian financial counselor helped Wanda and I to get our finances in order, and those steps freed us to be able to follow God wherever He led, without the anchor of debt dragging behind.
But the problem is this…we have taken that model for personal living and applied it to ministry.We take the concept that we should not buy a big screen TV or other luxury items unless we have the money set aside for it and apply that to following God’s call. And we tell ourselves that is scriptural. But it is not.
We are told that responsible Christian stewardship means having savings, investments, a retirement plan, emergency funds and more. And over and over again I hear respected Christian financial advisors quoted as the reason why a family cannot head to the mission field or rescue an orphan or begin a ministry. They treat following the call of God like buying a television or new car. But the two are not the same, and the biblical principals that determine the decisions are different. And sometimes God calls us to sell everything we own and give it to the poor, or go to the mission field or adopt an orphan. And that call means leaving behind our safety nets.
Churches establish their budgets by looking at their giving from the previous year. But they call it a “Faith Budget” because they add in an additional 5% or 10%, trusting God to provide. Then they decide the ministry they are going to do based upon those numbers. And we call that “stewardship.” But is it? In fact, is that even faith at all? To me that seems like men doing man-sized things that do not require God at all.
What if, instead, churches fasted and prayed and got on their faces before God to seek His direction for ministry? And then, after hearing His voice, determined how much those ministries were going to cost?And then (Gasp!) they made that their budget?
Isn’t stewardship simply the awareness that what we have actually belongs to Someone else? And that Someone has the right to demand and use any and all of it for His pleasure and purpose? In other words, isn’t true Christian stewardship simply doing whatever God tells us to do with the money, time and resources He has provided? And (get this) usually biblical stewardship does not involve a safety net.
If you are reading this and thinking that Daryl is off his Bible rocker, please show me where I am wrong. But even though I know this is true, that voice of Conservative Stewardship keeps yelling at me and trying to dictate how I lead this ministry. Sometimes it comes in the voice of another person, a good person, providing me with a friendly caution. Sometimes it comes from a sermon or book I read years ago. Sometimes it is just another tool that fear uses. But I cannot allow traditional teachings to override biblical truths.
2. Visionary Leadership – It is very difficult to find a book on ministry leadership that does not promote an aggressive and well laid-out vision for ministry. It is constantly promoted that a good leader knows where he wants to lead and has a thought-out plan regarding how to get there. This usually includes one-year, three-year, five-year and ten-year goals, and regular meetings to reaffirm the vision and goals with your team. A good leader knows exactly where he is going and keeps the team in line toward that goal.
But that has not been true of me. Before we moved to Guatemala I sat down and did the visionary leadership thing. I made one-year, three-year and five-year goals. I made flow charts and bullet lists and I presented those plans in churches. And now, as we approach five years in Guatemala, I can tell you that very few of those plans have transpired the way I envisioned. Our rural village ministry progressed beyond my five-year plan within two years on the ground. My vision for opening this group home dragged behind. At this point I had hoped to be working on licensing our third group home, but we are still waiting for a couple to lead the opening of a second.
Even the goals we did reach were reached in different ways than I envisioned. And none of them were reached because of my great visionary leadership and planning. Everything happened because God orchestrated the details in spite of me.
Several months ago, when God gave me the vision of opening a headquarters and resource center in all 22 departments of Guatemala, I immediately began setting goals and making bullet lists again. About an hour into that process I had a conversation with God that went something like this:
God: Psssst! Daryl!
Me: Yes, Lord?
God: What are you doing?
Me: Making plans to accomplish the vision you gave me.
God: Really? You are making plans to open 22 headquarters all over Guatemala? Please, explain to me what you are going to do to accomplish that impossible task.
Me: ….
God: How did this ministry get to where it is now?
Me: Well…I have tried to hear your voice and obey you each day. And, as I did, you made it all happen.
God: So, why do you think anything has changed now? I am the visionary leadership of this ministry. You just need to hold my hand and walk with me while I accomplish my purposes.
Me: (Wadding up my list of goals and plans and taking a sigh of relief) Deal!
But occasionally I hear that nagging voice shouting in my ear. It comes from all those leadership conferences I attended as a youth pastor and pastor that claimed to be rooted in Scripture but were actually rooted in the wisdom of man. The principals work well if you are building a human institution, but fail miserably if you are building the Kingdom of God. But still it screams and threatens to block out God’s voice that reminds me that He is the wisdom and the source of all that needs to be done. I just need to hold His hand and do what He tells me…one step at a time.
Don’t believe me? Read the Bible and see the great men and women of God. God did not give them 10 year plans. Instead, He gave them a general vision that required them to walk closely to Him and listen to His voice for every step.
So, here I am in Guatemala, surrounded by shouting voices. But only one voice matters. And I can still hear it when I focus on Him and cling to truth. Please pray that I will do that well in the days ahead. And I will pray the same for each of you.
Blessings from Guatemala!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
There is an old episode of I Love Lucy in which Lucy and Ethel get a job in a chocolate factory. They are to wrap each of the chocolates as they come down a conveyor belt, which seems to be a simple task. It starts out well enough, but as both the speed of the belt and the volume of chocolate increase the two ladies are quickly overwhelmed. By the end, they are shoving the chocolates down their shirts, in their hats and in their mouths, trying to keep them from flying off the end of the belt.
Welcome to my life for the last few months. While that scene may seem funny when you see two comediennes on the receiving end, it can seem less than funny when the “chocolate” is barreling down on you and there is no where left to stuff it all.
God continues to bless our ministry and we continue to grow. In addition, the quality of care that we provide to both the children in our group home and those in rural villages continues to improve. But we continue to stumble upon more and more children in severe need of care. And while I have gotten better at saying “No” to lesser needs and those that do not match up with our calling, I still cannot say that word to a child that is in serious trouble. So, this ministry continues to grow at a rate that leaves me, at times, trying to find places to shove the “chocolate” that comes barreling my way.
However, with each passing day, we continue to better organize and plan for growth now and in the future. Here are just a few of the changes that are happening:
Joel is a young Guatemalan man of God who graduated from Christ for the Nations Institute in Dallas, TX. He is a Cowboys fan, but other than that, he has a good head on his shoulders. He is a good friend to our family and is involved in a serious relationship with my daughter, Brittney, that will likely be leading to marriage soon. Together they will lead our ministry in San Pablo and the department of Solola. This will free up my time considerably, which will enable me to begin new work in two new departments in the months ahead, Santa Rosa and Chiquimula.
Joel will begin working with us on Tuesday, August 18th. He will be living in our home for the next three to four weeks and training under Manuel, Gerardo and me. We plan for him to make his move to San Pablo in mid-September. Please pray for that transition for both Joel and our ministry.
Another change has been the addition of a van to our fleet. We currently have 24 of us living full-time in our home. When we take the entire group out for something, such as going to church, we have been using our 15 passenger van and my dual cab pick-up, which seats five. That means we are four seats short of being able to safely seat everyone. For Guatemala this is not a problem, as they have no problem with seating 25 or 30 people in a 15 passenger van, but we are concerned with the safety of the children.
I want to end this post with updates on a couple of our children:
We immediately made an appointment with our neurologist, who ordered some more tests. One of these tests was a urine culture that came back positive for an infection. Although it is a mild infection, we are treating it aggressively, hoping that this will result in overall improvement. And we are seeing some improvement.
The neurologist also referred us to a different neurosurgeon, in hopes that he can do something to relieve the pressure on her brain. We are getting the required scans and tests and hope to get her in to see him next week.
Please keep praying for these two little ones. Both of them are struggling in their resistance to illness and are at risk.
Well, the chocolate keeps coming down the belt, so its back to work. Blessings from Guatemala!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
It has been far too long since my last post, and far too much has happened to catch you up on all the details. So permit me to give you a whirlwind tour of the last several weeks…
Back on June 24 I took a trip down to Nueva Concepción to repair Jorge’s wheelchair.I was traveling with two friends and supporters who were visiting from the States, Maggie and Catherine, and I expected it to be a quick and simple trip with a brief visit to see Rosario. But as often happens, God had other plans.
From there we headed around the corner to Rosario’s house. If you will recall, she nearly died in January from a respiratory illness because the family had lost our number and could not afford the Q.10 ($1.30) price to get her to the national hospital. We found her near death and rushed her to a private hospital where she was admitted for six days. This was a check-up to make sure she was doing well.
This was nearly catastrophic. I believe she was close to experiencing seizures and brain damage from her fever when we arrived. This is ironic because Rosario’s brain damage was the result of improperly treated fever when she was four years old. We spent time with the adults in the family explaining, once again, how to treat a fever when it comes. There is so much ignorance here in that area of child care, and it does so much damage.
As we were leaving, Rosario’s mom started crying and said to me, “You are like an angel! You always show up just when we need you!” And I had to smile at that, because anyone who truly knows me would not describe me as an angel. Cantankerous, yes. Angel, no. But I did give thanks to God who so perfectly orchestrates our trips and ministry. He loves these families so much and arranges their care for His glory.
Little Alison is a beautiful little bundle of joy. Within a week she was sleeping through the night, and she has become another little stress-reliever in a ministry that is often filled with stress. She had her first hearing today, and it appears that she will be with us long-term and will likely be placed up for adoption. So our home and our hearts are fuller today.
The very next morning I was working on all the paperwork involved in receiving a child when I receive a call from Gerardo. He had found a family who was seeking help with a five month old child who had a fever. But as Gerardo was speaking with them he noticed that something seemed wrong with the child and asked if I could see them. So a few minutes later they were at our door.
This is one of the parts of this work that I hate. I had to explain to the family that their son had cerebral palsy, an incurable disability. They wept, and so did I as I explained the long-term prognosis and treatment options. We arranged for an appointment with our neurologist to confirm that diagnosis (he did) and told them that we would arrange for him to start receiving therapy in our home each week.
Their great concern is that they are poor and they cannot afford the doctors, equipment and medicines that Diego will need, but we were able to set their minds at ease as we explained that was our ministry and we would walk with them and help them every step of the way. So, we are seeking a sponsor for little Diego for $40 a month. This will cover the cost of therapy for him and the medicines prescribed by the neurologist. If you are willing, please e-mail me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.
At they left that day I felt a mixture of emotions. On the one hand, it felt good that we could be there for this little guy and his family. Even though breaking the news to them was hard, that is a part of the responsibility and privilege God has given us as we walk with them through the diagnosis and the day, weeks, months and years ahead. On the other hand, I felt a deep sense of sadness at the awareness that this was one family out of thousands. We are working as hard as we can for long days and weeks, and we aren’t even scratching the surface of the need.
By days end, I found myself falling into discouragement at the enormity of the needs. Then God reminded me that I am not the Savior, He is. I can’t save the world, He can. But I can love and help the person in front of me. If all believers would simple do that, the need would be met. And so, I went to bed that night determined to love and make a difference in the life of the person in front of me and let that be enough.
Last week I received a message from someone who was looking for a home for a child in Solola. We were told the following: 1) His name is Carlos 2) He is six years old 3) He has Down Syndrome and cerebral palsy 4) His mother and father do not want him and see him as a burden and 5) He is badly neglected.
As I stated earlier, our home is past full, so my natural first impulse was to say no. But as Wanda and I discussed his situation, we felt God checking our hearts. So I decided to drive up to the lake to visit the child and assess his situation myself the next day. And I am very glad I did.
After this visit I became very convinced of the best course of action. I do not want to receive him into our home. Instead, I want to find sponsors to help provide for this family so he can stay with his mom. As a result, we are seeking $100 worth of sponsorship each month. We already have a sponsor for $20 a month, so we only need an additional $80. This money will be used to provide electricity and water to the home and to provide food for the family. If you are willing to sponsor Carlos, please e-mail me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.
Speaking of needing help, we are needing your prayers for our little Rosalinda. She has been with us almost six months now, and she continues to struggle to gain weight. She is eating well and we are providing a very high-quality formula for her. She has times in which she will gain a half or three-quarters of a pound, but will just as quickly lose it again. About 12 days ago we had the doctor check her for a persistent cough again. She has had this cough for the last three months, but each time the doctor checks her and treats her, we don’t see results. We had taken her in for a chest x-ray two months ago, and it came back clear. But last week the doctor ordered a special high-resolution x-ray which showed pneumonia. So we have been treating her with both injected and oral antibiotics, and we thought she was improving until this morning. But she woke up today with a nasty cough.
The doctor came quickly and has decided that we have no choice except to admit her into a malnutrition center for treatment. We have to find out why she is not gaining weight and get treatment because her immune system is so vulnerable now. The problem is that every malnutrition center in our area is full. So tomorrow morning we are taking her to see the doctor in charge of the malnutrition center in Hermano Pedro Obra Sociales. He is going to work with us in our home to try and help her improve while we are waiting for an opening in their center.
Please pray for Rosalinda. We are very concerned for her as she is persistently sick. Also pray for both her and us for whatever transitions may lie ahead. Thanks.
Well, those are a few of our highs and lows from the last three weeks. I will try to do a better job of updating in the weeks ahead, but no promises.
Blessings from Guate!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
Last week we attempted something we had never done before. My sister, Kathy Grant, and her husband, Bob, put together a medical missions team from their church, Project Re:3, and brought them to Guatemala. So we put together four days of medical clinics to touch physical needs. In the past we have done therapy clinics, but this was our first attempt at bringing doctors and nurses together to provide medical care.
That evening was spent in San Pedro La Laguna, because there are no hotels or decent restaurants in San Pablo. We had a crew of 18 people traveling with us, so the logistics of transportation, lodging and feeding was no small matter. Those logistics broke down somewhat the next morning when the restaurant took an hour and a half to feed our team, resulting in our arriving 15 minutes late to the clinic.
Over the next two days the team did some shopping, worked in our home and visited Hermano Pedro in Antigua. Then, on Thursday and Friday, we hosted another clinic in their hotel here in San Antonio Aguas Calientes.
In the past, we had used the municipal building in town for a therapy clinic. But a few months later we found that the mayor had used that clinic in a pamphlet promoting his political party. We work hard to not get involved in politics. We minister in Jesus’ name, not in the name of a party, so we decided to host future events in non-governmental locations. This has, apparently, angered our mayor and the local elements of his party. So, when we approached the municipality to ask them to announce the clinics through the loud speakers, they told us they would. But we later found out they did not. So we were wondering if many would show up.
As I look back over the clinics, I am struck by a few truths:
1) Sometime the emotional wounds can seem physical. On our second day of clinics I sat with a young girl who told me about her physical problems. She insisted that her heart would stop for brief periods. I asked her to describe the experience and quickly realized that she was having panic attacks. So I asked about her home life, and she teared-up as she told me of their poverty, her fear that she would have to drop out of school and the fighting these things had caused between her parents. What she needed was not medicine, but a listening ear and an understanding heart. We prayed with her, praying that she could take her fears and stress to God and encouraged her to follow-up with her pastor.
3) Many people just need a friend. Several of the people who came through the doors and waited a long time to see us did not need a doctor. They were just seeking company. During the hours they waited and were seen, they were just enjoying being in the presence of others. This was especially true of some of the elderly who could not give us a good reason for coming to see us. So we chatted and prayed with them, and they went home a little happier than when they arrived. The ministry of presence is one of the most important ministries we can do.
The Project Re:3 team was amazing! They brought so many medicines and medical supplies and kept a great attitude through it all. My sister and brother-in-law served tirelessly as they greeted and kept children entertained with balloon animals. Another part of the team organized our pharmacy and dispensed medicine for hours. Our doctor was incredible as well, soliciting donations and bringing along almost his entire pharmacy. And, of course, our live-in nurse, Katie, did a fantastic job of leading and serving.
At the end of it all, we had an exhausted team:
I believe this will be the first of many medical clinics. We have learned that, with God’s help, we can do them and do them well, and we are anxious to continue this area of ministry that has been started.
Presently we are being presented with so many opportunities. There are so many open doors in front of us, and we cannot go through all of them. Could you please pray for us in the days ahead that we will know which directions are the right ones? We need wisdom, resources and people. The need is great, but the workers are few.
Blessings from Guate!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
In the last 24 hours, we have said two painful goodbyes…
The first goodbye was to little Micah. He was in our home and a part of our family for only eight days. We knew when he came to us that he was dying, and we knew that it was good for him to go to Jesus. But it was still painful.
He entered our home via ambulance on Friday, May 22nd and was embraced by all. During the time he was in our home he was never alone. We took shifts overnight, knowing that his time was short and not wanting him to be alone. He was held and rocked, almost constantly. And he heard the words, “We love you!” hundreds of times.
So frequently during those days we thought he was leaving us, but each time he would rally and surge back. However, on Friday we all noticed a pronounced decline. He became less responsive and his breathing would stop for 10 to 15 seconds, only to restart again. Twice during his final days we all gathered around, told him we loved him, played worship music and said goodbye, the last time being Saturday afternoon. Then, around 5:00 pm, he took his final breath and slipped from our arms into Jesus’.
That was such a bitter-sweet moment. On the one hand, we were so tired of seeing him struggling that we wanted to see him go. I kept pleading with him to let go and go to Jesus. At the same time, I grieved that he had left us. We all wept and hugged and talked about our love for him.
Here in Guatemala, the funeral happens quickly. So within an hour Jeremiah, Joel, Dale and myself were digging the grave in the cemetery at the end of our street. We worked hard in order to finish by sunset. The casket was brought to our home and Wanda and the others prepared his body and placed him inside. He remained in our home overnight.
The memorial service was yesterday (Sunday) afternoon, and was well attended by staff and friends. Feliz, from Solola, came down, along with family and friends. She had been a mother to Micah before we ever met him, visiting him in the hospital regularly and praying for him.
The service was simple and held in our courtyard. Afterward, we had a procession down to the cemetery, where we prayed, sang and filled in the grave. As I type this, the workers are making his gravestone.
At this moment Micah is whole, healed and basking in the presence of Jesus. Of that, I have no doubt. And I rejoice for him. But the goodbye is hard and painful. Yet, this is our calling. And in the midst of the pain, I feel God smile.
Yesterday, during the service before I went up to speak, I was standing to the side with Wanda. I had tears in my eyes and was struggling to sing, but I put my arm around her shoulder, pulled her close and whispered in her ear…
“Thank you for being willing to live this life!”
Any other woman would have left me years ago. They would have left behind the pain that this life and ministry brings. They would have left behind the long hours and broken heart. And they certainly would have left behind this stubborn, driven and thick-headed excuse for a man. But she is still here beside me, embracing it all.
After it was all over, my son, Jeremiah, approached me. He struggle the most with our decision to accept Micah into our home, not because he wouldn’t love him, but because he would. When both Esperanza and Tanya died, Jeremiah struggle the most because he loves deeply and with abandon. So he was not thrilled when we decided to bring in another dying child. But his words to me were the most healing that I have heard through this process. He hugged my and said, “Thanks for being willing to say yes. It bothers me to think that he could have died without a family.”
And so, it is worth it, and that was our first goodbye.
Our second goodbye was this morning as we dropped our daughter Carissa off at the airport. My little girl is moving to Uganda where she will be opening a home for girls with special needs.
How do I feel about that? Good question.
I feel incredibly proud…and very scared.
I feel an overwhelming excitement…and a deep sense of sadness.
I feel confident of her future…and timid about her journey and the price she will have to pay.
When each of our children were born or adopted, we prayed and dedicated them to the Lord. And each time we asked God to raise them up as a man or woman of God that would love Jesus, love the world and would follow Him wherever He may lead. He has answered that prayer in spades with Carissa, and I could not be more proud of her.
But, just between you and me, sometimes obedience sucks. You know what I mean? (I know. That is a horrible thing for a man of God to say. I will expect your correcting e-mails.) Even though we know obeying God is what is right and best in the long run, it sure is painful in the present sometimes.
Today, as I watched her carrying her luggage through the crowds into the terminal, I stood on tiptoes to catch one more glimpse of her before she was gone. In my mind, she was a toddler taking her first steps again, but this time she wasn’t going to stop and come back. She confidently stepped through the doors without looking back. (I didn’t expect or want her to. That is who she is and how she lives.) And, at that moment, my heart both swelled in pride and broke in two.
She is off to change Uganda. And she will. The power of Jesus Christ is strong in her, and He will use her in mighty ways. And we are behind her, 200%. But this dad has a lump in his throat that just won’t go away.
One day, in the place where Micah runs and plays today, there will be no more goodbyes. There will only be hellos. I keep reminding myself that our family will be together in the presence of Jesus…forever. But in order to bring as many people with us as possible, we have to say a lot of goodbyes in this life. And it will all be worth it…one day.
But for now:
Goodbye, Micah. You are loved and missed deeply. You are and will always be our son and brother. Have fun and we will see you soon!
Goodbye, Carissa. We are proud of you, excited for you and miss you horribly already. Go change the world. And, remember, we love you, are praying for you and will be behind you all the way. Go get ‘em!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
(By the way, if you wish to support Carissa’s new branch of Hope for Home in Uganda you can do so through our US office. Just visit http://www.hopeforhome.org/Donate.html to see how.)
