Malnutrition and Medicine

Note: Recently I have been doing a lot of writing about our group home, Hogar de la Esperanza. Obviously, that has been where a lot of my focus has been over the last two months. That may leave the impression that nothing has been happening in our rural village ministry, but nothing could be further from the truth. Dale Beyer has been gradually assuming more responsibilities in that area of ministry to enable me to focus on our growing home. You will be seeing me share his updates regarding that ministry in the near future, and your prayers and support of that ministry is still very much needed.

The last week has been a whirlwind of activity in our home. About 10 days ago we received a call from a judge in Jalapa asking if we would take three children, a brother and sister and another little girl who all have cerebral palsy. After discussion it was decided that we would accept the brother and sister and, given a couple of weeks for adjustment, would accept the other little girl as well. Last Tuesday the judge called back and asked if we would take the sister and the other little girl because she felt the were both in the worst condition. We agreed, so on Wednesday morning we headed out bright and early to pick them up.

In my last blog I told you about the corruption in the judicial system and a couple of very bad judges we encountered. I am very pleased to say that this judge has been wonderful and has worked great with us. She knew we were driving a long distance, so she arranged for workers to transport the children two hours toward us and meet us in the town of Comapa. We were pleased to find the children and the proper paperwork waiting for us when we arrived.

Unfortunately, what we found were two little girls who were in trouble. Let me introduce you to them:

Thania (pronounced Tanya) is 13 years old. Due to malnutrition she is the height of a normal three year old and only weighs 19 pounds. Her teeth are rotting and she has regular seizures. We also quickly realized that she has hip dysplasia (both hips pop completely out of joint when her legs are straightened). Our son, Joshua, had this condition, though not as severe, and he required two major surgeries and eight weeks in a spica cast to correct it.

All of this, and more, cause her to be a very fussy and needy child, requiring a lot of care. One of the challenges is getting her to eat. Because of her long-term malnutrition, she has very little appetite, and we have to work hard to coax her to eat. She tolerates very little food in a sitting, so she has to be fed frequently. And we have found that she is very difficult to comfort.

Our doctor has seen her and ordered quite a few tests. Today our Neurologist examined her and ordered more tests. We anticipate that the total costs of appointments and tests will top $400.00 US, and that does not include treatment an surgeries. Please pray for God’s provision and for this precious little girl.

The other little girl that was added to our home that day is Angelita (little angel). She is seven years old, but due to malnutrition the size 18 month clothes we are dressing her in are too big. When we picked her up we were told that she did not suffer from seizures. We quickly determined how incorrect that was as we realized that she was in an almost constant state of seizuring. She, too, is struggling to eat and we are working hard to get nutritional food and formula into her.

She has now been seen by both our doctor and neurologist and has been placed on anti-seizure medication. We are already seeing an improvement, but she still has a long road ahead. Once she is gaining weight and seems to be stable, we will need to get her to the dentist. All of her teeth have rotted away to the roots.

I confess, this is one of those times that I feel overwhelmed. The road to recovery for both of these little girls will be both long and expensive. And it would be easy to fall into despair regarding both their condition and our finances. But God keeps reminding me of something important. He loves them both, far more than I ever could, and He is with them. He also reminds me that the money we are spending is not on big TV’s, expensive clothes or luxury items. We are spending money providing care and attention to His children. Do I really think that God will not give us what we need to take care of them? Of course He will.

One of my favorite quotes is by Hudson Taylor who said this:

“God’s work done in God’s way never lacks God’s supply.”

We are relying heavily on this scripture-based truth these days.

On a much lighter note, Friday was a big event for our home. We loaded up our vehicles and transported the childre to the Zoo in Guatemala City for a special day out together. Thanks to a big discount given by the Zoo to homes such as ours, we were able to get admission for the children for only Q.5 each (about 62 cents). We met Krishauna there, and she had the 13 boys from Casa Samuel (the house she work in at Casa Bernabe) along with the house parents and volunteers. This brought us to a grand total of 25 children and 9 adults who enjoyed the day together. (We were pushing 6 wheelchairs and 2 strollers as a part of the procession.)

What a great day we had enjoying the animals and one another. Almost all the kids were well behaved and had a wonderful time. And, I will admit, every adult was exhausted by day’s end.

As we were preparing to leave that morning I suddenly realized something important. Most of the children who are in our group home have never had an outing like this. Almost all of them come from extreme poverty and have not seen life outside of their own little towns until now. It was exciting to see their faces as they took in the sights throughout the day, and I feel so humbled and amazed that God lets me be a part of things like this.

So, I will end with a few pictures below of our special day. Thanks so much for you prayers and support of this ministry! We could not do it without you!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Corruption and Arrest Warrants

When we moved to Guatemala to open this ministry and group home for children with special needs we knew we would face corruption in both the government agencies and courts. We thought we were prepared for it, but nothing could have prepared us for what we have faced in the last week.

Two weeks ago we received a call seeking to place a 10 year old boy with cognitive delays. When we questioned them further, we realized that the needs of this child were not severe, so we told them no. We have been trying to save space in our home for those who are hardest to place. Then, last week, we received another call for a 10 year old boy who had cerebral palsy and cognitive delays. We told them we would take him. About an hour later they called back and told us that he had three younger siblings without special needs and they wanted to keep them all together. While we did not want to see them split up, we told them that we could not accept them all because we could not fill up our home with children who do not have special needs. After a lot of back and forth, they told us they would just send the 10 year old.

Later that evening Brayan arrived in our home. The first thing I realized was that he did not have cerebral palsy. The second realization came when I discovered that he was the same child they had called us about the week before. The courts had lied to us, knowing that we would not accept him otherwise. Finally, I discovered that he had no little siblings. The court was just lying, trying to find a placement for three other children. Having said that, we have welcomed Brayan into our home and love him dearly. We believe that God uses even the wickedness of men to accomplish His purposes and has done so with Brayan.

The next day we went to the city with Alejandra for her first audience before the courts since her placement. We had gone last month, but had been turned away because the judge did not come in to work. Apparently it was her birthday. We had a wonderful meeting with the judge who raved about the care we were giving Alejandra. She told us, with tears in her eyes, that she had already progressed beyond what she believed was possible. The court psychologist also praised the care we are providing, telling us that she usually has a long list of recommendations to give, but we were doing everything we needed to do and more. We went away feeling really good about our home and the work we are doing.

Later that afternoon we received a call from another court in Guatemala City. They had three siblings (supposedly) that all had special needs, and they wanted to know if we would take them. All of the children were older than our profile, and we were concerned about bringing them into our home all at once. The court would not provide additional information on their needs, so we told them we could not accept them. (We have a couple of very fragile children in our home, and we were especially concerned about one of the children that we feared would endanger them.) A little while later the judge called Daniel and asked him if we would accept them for three or four days. I know how that works…they place the children in our home with no plans of moving them. Once that happens, they will be here long term, regardless of the promises made in advance. So, we told them no.

At this point, the judge became angry and began yelling at Daniel. I understand the pressure that they are under to place children, so I allow them understanding. But this judge cursed at Daniel, said bad things about us and our home, and threatened to issue an arrest warrant on me. Needless to say, by the time the conversation was over Daniel was stressed and frustrated.

This is the frustration we face in dealing with many of the judges. We moved here, opened this home at great expense, jumping through all of their hoops and meeting every requirement. We receive no government funds for our home, paying for every expense through the faithfulness of our supporters. Yet we are often treated like trash by those who depend on us.

I wish I could say that this is an isolated incident, but it is not. Just today we received calls seeking placement for four children, a brother and sister, a little girl, and a little boy. We received a call about three of the children and we agreed to take them all. (We hope to receive one of them this week and the other two in another two weeks.) It was right after that the call came from Guatemala City for the fourth child. Because we had just agreed to accept the other three, we originally told them no. But, after further consideration, we decided to call them back and tell them we would accept the child. The lady became angry at Daniel, yelling at him and saying horrible things about our home and hung up on him. This left us scratching our head. Why are we treated badly for deciding to stretch ourselves in order to assist them?

I have heard lots of stories of orphanages that just shut down. The directors closed the doors and walked away out of frustration with the system. Seeing the system from the inside, I understand why that happens. The carnal side of me wants to lash out and tell the system to take a long walk on a very short pier. But then God reminds me of three key points:

1. We do what we do for Him, not for the courts. He is who we really serve. So, even when we are treated badly we need to be humble servants, doing our best to bring glory to Him.
2. We are here for the children, not the judges. If we walk away in protest of the corrupt system the judges don’t suffer but the children do. So we take the arrows to spare them the pain, standing between them and the oppressors who seek to harm.
3. I really shouldn’t complain to Jesus about being hurt by those we seek to help. He really knows that story in a much deeper and profound way than I ever could. And, considering I am one of the ones who has caused Him pain…

So, we continue. But we need your prayers. Already we are making friends, but we are also making enemies who are in powerful positions. Many of these folks have no problem using their authority to do harm to others, and we may quickly find ourselves in their crosshairs. Please pray for God’s protection from those that seek to harm. Also pray that God will remove these oppressors and replace them with those who will do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with their God.

That’s all for now! Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

A Dream and a Prayer

At present, everyone in our home is healthy. Praise God! We have had weeks of respiratory illness that resulted in the hospitalization of both Esperanza and Yenifer and lots of coughing in everyone else. I believe we set a record for the number of tissues used in a household in a seven day period.

Likewise, we seem to have settled into a good rhythm in our home. Our staff, volunteers and family are working well together and everything is well-organized. It is actually quite entertaining to see all of the diaper-changing, medicine-dispensing, bath-giving, meal-feeding, etc. Little Christian is sleeping much better these days, which really helps us to get more rest. Esperanza, however, has good nights and bad nights. The bad ones result in very little sleep for whoever is on duty.

We believe that God has been in control of the children who have entered our home. We grew from 0 to 3 children quickly and then experienced a pause that enabled us to develop our caregiving systems and schedule. Then we added children 4 and 5 quickly, Esperanza and Christian, who have required the greatest adjustments and time commitments. Now, after that lull, I believe we will see more children coming. On Thursday we will be meeting another child, age 5, who may be joining our home, and ever day more calls come. I suspect our home will be full in another month.

One of the hard issues I have had to face is the number of children that we have turned away. Over the last two weeks we have received calls asking us to take 42 children. We turned all of them away. The reason for this is that none of them had special needs (although the courts worked hard to manufacture special needs so we would accept them). As difficult as it is to find homes for these children, it is more difficult to find a place for a child with special needs. That is our calling, and we are sticking to it. But that doesn’t make it easier to turn away a child. Many of these will end up in state-run institutions that are filled with neglect and abuse. If I spend too much time thinking about these children I will lose my mind. I have to choose to focus on the ones that God has given us and the ones that are to come.

Our vision for the family-based group home is not limited to Hogar de la Esperanza. Our dream is to have other families join us here to open additional homes. One day I would love to see 10 homes caring for 10 to 12 children, each operating under this ministry. But for that dream to become reality we need people to hear God’s call and join us.

If you and your family have a passion for children with special needs and are drawn to join us, then please contact us to discuss it. We can arrange a Skype session to talk, answer questions and to better help us understand one another’s hearts. If you choose to join us, we will walk with you through the move and entire process, and your home will be licensed under our association. Each subsequent licensing process should be easier as we have already completed much of the required paperwork. In other words, you will not be alone.

If you are not among those called to join us, will you please pray that God will raise up others? I am looking around at the harvest and considering the consequences of not having workers. Quite frankly, it breaks my heart and breaks the heart of God. So, please pray with me.

Also, please pray for the church. One of the reasons we have such a shortage of workers is because of a me-centered theology that has invaded and replaced the Jesus-centered theology. We have come to believe that Jesus died to save us and make us comfortable instead of to save us and make us living sacrifices. As a result, very few ever consider leaving the comfort of their own little world to serve the God who died for them. Meanwhile, the world is literally dying apart from Christ. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will move in the church to bring us to true repentance so that we will be willing to pick-up our crosses and follow Jesus…wherever He leads.

A while back I posted a blog on this topic. If you have time, you might want to read it again. It was actually written by Amy Carmichael and is quite powerful. If you are interested, click here.

That’s all for now. Greetings and love from Guate!

Daryl

God's Economy

I finally have the time to update my blog. Unfortunately it is because I am once again sitting in another hospital room with another child. This time it is Yeni, who has come down with a nasty respiratory infection. She has struggled with a sore throat and slight cough for the last two days, but this morning she took a sudden turn for the worse. Suddenly her fever spiked to 104 and her heart and respiration rate skyrocketed. When I checked her oxygen saturation I became truly concerned and we brought her to the emergency room. The doctor admitted her immediately and started her on IV antibiotics and breathing treatments. I expect she will be here from 24 to 36 hours while the medicine does its work.

Over the last few weeks my appreciation for the Beyer family has increased significantly. (I appreciated them greatly before, but still it has increased.) They have been such a blessing and asset to our ministry as they are getting more up-to-speed and assuming more ministry responsibilities. Two of their daughters, Kristin and Kathlyn, have become key members of our group home, serving as nannies. They have also agreed to each take a night shift each week, caring for Esperanza and Cristian, who do not sleep well and require special care. This enables us to get some much needed sleep. Even now, Kristen is here at the hospital for another hour or two, helping care for Yeni.

Meanwhile, back at home Dale and Anita are coming down to help Wanda with the rest of the kids tonight. Bedtime is a huge deal in our home that requires feedings, diaper changes, lots of medicine, teeth brushing and more. Their help will allow our older children to attend a special youth event this evening.

Dale has also begun to assume more responsibilities with our rural village ministry. With my vehicle out of commission for so long I was concerned about how I was going to catch-up. Thanks to Dale we are back on track. He played a significant role in our local distribution and then led a trip up to El Progreso. Unfortunately, his vehicle is still out of commission, but another friend of ours who recently moved to Guatemala, Steve Eldred, came along and drove. So, we only had three more villages to visit to complete the rounds. So, last Thursday Dale, his son, Jacob, Gerardo and I headed out for the department of Esquintla to visit those final three communities.




Our first destination was Sipacate where our first stop was at the home of little Dorcas. This little girl, age 7, desperately needed a wheelchair. Her mother has been carrying her everywhere until now and Dorcas is getting big. So they were thrilled when we pulled up with a chair for her.

The process of fitting a chair is usually not a quick one. We begin by checking the child's measurements and adjusting the chair to the approximate position. We then place them into the chair to check the fit and then remove them for further adjustment. It is not uncommon to place them in and out of a chair two or three times until we get things just right. Unfortunately, Dorcas was so excited to have her chair that she got upset every time we took her out again. By the end of the process, when the chair was just right, I could no longer get a smile out of her. I think she was expecting me to take her chair away again!

While we were at Dorcas' house we received a call from one of the social workers at the local health center. We have formed a good relationship with the folks who work there, and they have been a good resource to us while we have tried to be the same to them. They were calling because they knew of a little girl who desperately needed a wheelchair and wanted to know if we would go with them to visit her. We agreed, of course, so they met us at Dorcas' house and we left with them as soon as her chair was fitted.




When we arrived at the home my heart broke. We found Evelyn, age 9, lying back in a baby stroller with her legs draped over the forward bar. They could not afford a wheelchair so they were using the only thing they could find, a second-hand stroller from family members. In spite of her uncomfortable seating arrangement, Evelyn is a beautiful and happy child. As I showed her parents stretches they could do on her and gave them care tips she kept smiling and laughing at me and my weak Spanish. We did an assessment and assured them that we would bring them a wheelchair next month. So, we could use a sponsor for her chair. The cost for a custom chair will be $250.00, so if you would like to help with that, please e-mail me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.




While we were at Evelyn's house, an elderly lady pedaled across the street to meet us. Gregoria is 74 years old and her only means of transportation is a hand pedaled cart. In spite of these carts' favorable gearing ratio, they are not easy to use and require good upper body strength to propel. As a result, she arrived a little out of breath. Dale lubricated the chain and wheels, but we knew that was not enough. So, we took measurements and told her we will deliver a chair next month. She does not require a fitted chair, so the cost will only be $150.00. Once again, if you are willing to help please e-mail me at the address above.




After numerous other visits we left Sipacate and headed up to La Gomera where a motel room was waiting for us. We arrived in good time and decided to cover a couple of families before we checked in for the night. One of those visits included Jeferson and his family. He is 3 years old and has a foot that turns over as he stands on it. As a result, he walks on the side of his foot. There are no ortheopedic problems in his bones, so we believe that he just started standing and walking on it wrong when he was little. Now the outside tendons are stretched badly and his foot turns in. We have had him in to Hermano Pedro and paid for a brace for his foot. Unfortunately, he doesn't like to wear it and takes it off, while his mother seems to think she is powerless to stop him. We need to have him fitted for twister cables to correct the inward twist of his foot, but I was not willing to do so until I was assured that she would make him wear both the brace and the cables. I do not want to spend the money on something that will sit in the corner of their home. So, we had a heart-to-heart talk.

I don't like these kinds of talks. I much prefer a friendly visit that ends with hugs. But we explained to Jeferson's mom that if she doesn't make him wear his brace he will likely be crippled for life. We also told her that she is his mom, she is bigger than him, and she needs to lovingly discipline him because it was what was best for him. I felt like we were not making progress with her until I mentioned that I have two children who wear AFO's (Ankle and Foot Orthodics) and they don't like them either. But, as their dad, I love them enough to make them wear them. That seemed to break through to her and she promised that she would make him wear his brace. So, we are proceeding with the next appointment to fit the twister cables.

We arrived back at the hotel just in time for a downpour that was harder than any I have ever seen. A 10 foot dash to the hotel overhangleft us looking as if we had just left a shower. But we had a bunch of supplies and equipment in the back of my truck with only a thin tarp covering it (I am still waiting for my truck cap to be completed), so we re-entered the downpour to move the items from the back to the cab. Before we were done we were all thouroughly drenched, along with most of the items in my overnight bag. Of course, three minutes after we finished this job it stopped raining.




We got a decent night's sleep and headed out the next morning for more visits. One of the children I was most concerned about was Katerin. This young lady is malnourished and depends upon the formula we provide. She also needs the medicine we bring each month to control her seizures. Because of our vehicle problems it had been 7 weeks since we last saw her, so I was anxious about what we might find. I was thrilled when we found her doing well, but her parents were greatly relieved to see us again.

That afternoon we headed home via Las Palmas (where we visited six families) and pulled into our courtyard in time for supper.

Recently I was asked by someone why we do what we do. He just could not wrap his mind around why we would want to invest in children and people with special needs. It was an alien concept to him. And, sitting here in a hospital room for which I don't know how I will pay, I can understand his confusion. Why would we choose to surround ourselves with hospital rooms, wheelchairs, braces, medicine, therapy, etc.? In some ways, it would be nice to embrace Dave Ramsey's concept of stewardship that includes savings accounts, investments, retirement and thorough planning for all eventuality.

But God has a different economy. His economy tells us not to worry about things like food, drink and clothing, but instead focus on seeking God's kingdom and righteousness. In so doing, let Him take care of those other things.

Not only that, the least of these, such as the ones that surround us, have great value in God's economy. That is why His Word tells us repeatedly to care for them. And, in so doing, we care for Jesus.

In addition, by caring for these priceless ones, I better understand a profound truth...I, too, have special needs. Mine may be easier to hide, as they do not manifest through wheelchair, braces and severe cognitive needs (although many may question that last one). But they are no less profound and they are ugly. They show up in my pride, selfishness and anger. And my special needs wound others. As I care for these children I better realize my disabilitiesand my desperate need for grace.

But, you know what? I do what I do for a much more selfish reason. I love these children and these people. They are, quite frankly, some of the most awesome folks I have ever met. They have joy, peace and unconditional love that makes me want to be like them. They are some of the best friends I could ever have. And they make all the hospital rooms, bills, wheelchairs, braces, medicines and appointments more than worth it.

Blessings from Guate!
Daryl

Adjustments and Difficult Decisions

As I sit here at my keyboard my head is spinning as I look back over the last week. So much has happened and, to be honest, fatigue is infringing on my ability to think clearly. But I want to give you an update, so you will have to be patient if my words don’t make sense.

Last Wednesday evening we noticed that our little Esperanza was having some difficulty breathing. At first it sounded like a simple cold, but as the evening progressed we became increasingly concerned. Finally, at around 10:30 pm I called Dr. Augusto and he came to our home to examine her. He sent us straight to the hospital where she was admitted and placed on an IV and antibiotics as well as breathing treatments. By this point her appetite was gone and we saw her become increasingly weak throughout the day on Thursday.

By Thursday evening we had begun to say our goodbyes, believing she would die soon. I sent out a prayer request via Facebook and held her close with tears in my eyes. It was an emotional time for the entire family. But then, suddenly, she woke up and began to cry and smack her lips, demanding food. We fed her a bottle and she kept it down. Over the next 14 hours we saw her get stronger and more alert and her breathing cleared up. By the next morning at 10:00 am when the doctors came to do rounds they said that she had improved so much they were sending her home! We praise God that Esperanza is back in her home and doing well now, because there is no other explanation for her recovery apart from God’s intervention.

And, speaking of Esperanza, she finally has a real name! When she came to us, she had no birth certificate and had never been given a name. The nurses in the hospital called her Ruth, and we chose the second name of Esperanza, but nothing was official. All her documents and records simply said, “Daughter of…”

But, we have now received word that the courts have named her and given her a birth certificate. We are so grateful to the judge for allowing us to name her. So, she is now officially Ruth Esperanza!

Let’s fast-forward now to Monday when I found myself driving for three hours to the courts in Guatemala City to have a hearing regarding one of our other children, Alejandra. Monday morning traffic is always extra bad, so much of that time was spent in bumper-to-bumper traffic. We arrived a little early and waited to be called. After an hour-and-a-half we were called to the window and told that the judge did not come in that day because it was her birthday. We were then given another court date in October and sent on our way.

I would like to tell you that this is an unusual occurrence here, but it is not. Quite frankly there is a war here between the powerful and the powerless. The powerful feel little or no accountability to the people they rule, and the powerless have little or no recourse. So there is so much abuse within the system. The courts have our number and could have easily called in advance to reschedule, but they did not and will not in the future. So, this will likely not be the last wasted morning we have.

However, there is an up-side to these kinds of things. I have been praying that God would make me more patient for years, so he moved me to Guatemala. I have gained more patience in the last 2 3/4 years than I did in my previous 43 years of existence. I am to the point that when they told me that the judge wasn’t coming I actually laughed and shrugged my shoulders. What can you do? It’s Guatemala!

Meanwhile, as we were waiting for the hearing that would not happen, we received a call from PGN in Quiche. They had a little guy for our home and wanted to know if we could meet them in Chichicastenango to pick him up. We had met this boy, Christian, and his family the previous week when they had come down from Quiche to have testing. A young man, Brian McMann, who is a volunteer with the Peace Corp had been working with them. He had contacted our friends, Rolando and Lisa Monterroso, who had then contacted us.

Christian has a wonderful family who love him deeply. However, they live in a remote area of the country where there are little or no resources for children with special needs. And this little guy definitely needs resources to help him. He is almost four years old, is mostly blind and deaf and, we believe, has autism. He does not speak and cannot walk. He is prone to melt-downs and can often be self-abusive, biting and hitting himself.

His family was seeking help because they did not know how to help him. For a while they were taking him on a chicken bus for five hours one direction every week for physical therapy. But they finally decided that they were not seeing any benefits to the therapy and discontinued it. They were coming to us to ask if we could do anything to help.

After talking and praying together they asked us to take Christian into our home for a while in order to arrange for the proper  assessments, treatments and therapies. During the time that he is with us, his parents will travel down for a week every five weeks to be trained in his care and therapy. Our goal is to reunify the family after six to nine months. This would not have been possible last year, but due to a recent change in Guatemalan law we are allowed to make short-term arrangements with families in special circumstances.

With Christian’s addition to our home, life is full. Our days are filled with therapy, medicine, doctor appointments, changings, feedings, learning activities and more. In addition, due to Esperanza and Christian’s needs, our nights are pretty full as well. Esperanza has to be fed every two to three hours, and Christian is prone to waking up screaming. We are alternating nights right now with Wanda and me taking one night while Brittney, Carissa and Taryn take the next. We are in the process of arranging for some of our staff and volunteers to take a night each week as well to provide more relief and sleep to us.

In the midst of all of this, we received a call yesterday asking if we would accept two more children. One is a seven year old girl who is deaf and in a wheelchair (the courts could not further define her needs) and the other is a one year old boy with hydrocephalus and cerebral palsy.

When we received the call, both Wanda and I felt torn. We don’t want to turn them away, because we know that there are very few homes in Guatemala that are equipped to care for their needs. We fear for their future. At the same time, we are concerned about our household schedule and how it may be affecting our children, both the young ones who might feel neglected and the older ones who help share  the responsibility of caring for the children.

The other fear I face is a financial one. I don’t talk about our ministry’s financial needs much. We, instead, choose to take our needs to God and trust Him to provide by placing it on people’s hearts to give. (The only exception to this is our sponsorship program which enables US families to partner with Guatemala families through financial support and prayer.) My discussion of needs now should not be construed as fund-raising, but prayer-raising. When our home opened I knew that our monthly support was too low. Since the home opened, we have realized that the budget we set was also too low as we had underestimated the medical costs for each child. Esperanza’s hospital stay was $650.00. Her formula and medicine needs top $100 a month. Yenni and Rafael’s medicines are topping $75 each per month and their neurological appointments and testing will top $300 each. Now we need to have almost $300 of testing and assessments on Christian plus ongoing medication. Our regular monthly support is just too low. So, what do we do? Do we turn away these children or welcome them?

Before we even had a chance to ask our children what they think we received a text from our daughter, Brittney, telling us she supported saying yes to either or both of the children. She also spoke with the rest of our children and they all echoed her sentiment…they wanted us to accept the children. So our first concern of how our group home is affecting our family was put to rest resoundingly.

Wanda and I bowed our head to pray together. (We were in a parking lot in Guatemala City at the time.) As I prayed I said, “Lord, we don’t have the money for more children. We don’t even have the money for the children we have now.” But before I finished saying this, these words turned sour in my mouth.

In His still, soft voice I heard my heavenly Daddy say, “Daryl, when have you even had the money to do what I asked you to do?” And my answer was, “Never, Lord.” And He replied (with a smile in His voice), “So what’s the big deal now?”

Before Wanda and I married we committed ourselves to Jesus and promised Him that we would follow Him wherever He called us, regardless of money. As a result, we have, at times, taken significant pay cuts to follow His call. At other times, we have said “No” to opportunities that offered a significant raise. Each time God provided for us, often in miraculous ways.

When we moved to Guatemala we were underfunded and had to trust God to provide. He has, even as our ministry has grown beyond our greatest expectations. So why, after all of this time, was I allowing finances to play a role in this decision? By the time we had said “Amen” I knew that we needed to open our home to these two children and others that God would send.

As it turns out, the girl will not be joining us. A grandfather entered the picture and agreed to take her into his home. The little boy is still in the hospital, and we are awaiting the final decision from the judge regarding whether he will come to us or not.

Please pray for us. Please pray that we will clearly hear God’s voice and follow, not allowing fear to dictate our decisions. Please pray that God will place it on people’s hearts to give…nothing more and nothing less than He asks of them. And please pray that God will strengthen and protect our family in the midst of this wonderful and challenging ministry.

Thanks! Blessings from Guate!

Daryl

Loving Hope

Note: This blog post contains details and pictures of a beautiful little girl who I consider to be my daughter. Please do not share either the photos or the details apart from this blog. And if you cannot see her beauty through God’s eyes I ask you to move along to another blog.

My family and I find ourselves in one of the most challenging situations we have ever faced. We find ourselves loving little Esperanza (Hope) deeply. When I call this a challenge it is not because she is difficult to love. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She is easy to love because she is so beautiful, and that beauty comes through in every moment that we spend with her.

I love the way her mouth moves and her tongue seeks out the nipple of the bottle. I love the way her tiny face scrunches up when she yawns or cries. I love the way her tiny little fingers wrap around little finger when I hold her. I love her, and I love her more every minute that I spend with her.

The challenge is within our hearts, because we know that we are falling in love with a little girl that is dying. The same time that passes and causes our love to grow is also that same clock that is ticking and bringing the end of her life closer. We don’t know how long we have with her. It may be hours, days, weeks or months, but we know that time is coming.

She has not been sleeping well at night, so all of the older members of our household have had lots of late night time alone with her as we feed, change, cuddle and rock her. At times she cries out in pain, and in those moments I pray that God will take her quickly and make her completely whole. I also find myself praying that when I change her diaper and see her tiny, twisted, malnourished body under the clothes that swallow her whole. (She is four months old and weighs seven pounds. We estimate that four pounds of her total weight is her head, so even the smallest clothing is huge on her.)

But then there is the rest of the time…the times that I hold her close and pray that God will not take her. That we will find a way to make her comfortable, that she will feel our love and joy and peace, and that she will stay with us forever. Because, in her own way, she is perfect.

But I don’t want to love her. I want to stop my feelings and back them up. I want to remain detached and guard my heart, because I have only known this little girl for a few days, but I can’t imagine my life without her. And I don’t want to think about the day when she will not be with us or the pain that is coming with that moment. But…not love her? I would be more successful at stopping the ocean’s tide.

Forgive me for spilling my verbal tears out through this blog. I realize this in not what you signed-up for. But these thoughts and feelings are surging in my heart and I feel that I will burst if I don’t put them into words.

All of this has left me thinking more about love. Not the emotional junk of greeting cards and sentimental movies, but real, lasting and valuable love. You know, the Agape stuff. The love that keeps loving, even if it gets nothing in return but pain and heartbreak. The love that does not come and go with shifting feelings and the ups and downs of relationships. The kind of love that God’s Word talks about when it says that our God is LOVE.

The longer I live the more I realize how cheap my definition of love has been. And, with each passing year, I understand more and more about the love of God “that surpasses all understanding.” And I increasingly realize what a lousy reflection my life is of real love. If God is love then I am just a little boy trying to wear His oversized clothes and looking silly as I do.

I think God is using little Esperanza to lead me to a deeper level of love and showing me more what His love truly is. Our God loved us when we were incapable of loving Him. And He chose to love us, knowing that the price of that love was a cross on a hillside. From the moment He breathed the first Words of creation the clock began to tick that would ring in His suffering. Yet, he breathed them. And when He first breathed the word “Daryl” He knew the cost of loving me. He knew I would fail Him, hurt Him and turn away, not once, but repeatedly. And yet, He breathed…and loved. And He still does.

Over the last few days our family has started to hug tighter, encourage more frequently, and love more fiercely. This is all thanks to little Esperanza as she is showing us what is really, truly important while stripping away the things that are not. She is teaching us that “the greatest of these is love” in a way that I don’t think we would have learned otherwise. So, even as my days are filled with the roller coaster of joy, followed by heartbreak, followed by joy again, I keep falling deeper in love with my little Esperanza. And I keep reminding myself to live in the right-now of life and trust God with the heartbreak of my future.

Please pray for my family and I as we all try to do this in every moment. And please pray for our little Esperanza.

Blessings,

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Handle with Care

Note: A little later in this post I am going to introduce you to the newest member of Hogar de la Esperanza. Due to the severe nature of her special needs, some of you may find her pictures disturbing. If you tend to see through the eyes of humans and not through the eyes of God, please move on to the next post. She is a beautiful child, created and loved by God, and if you do not understand that truth, I don’t want you to look at her.

Also, because of that, I am asking that none of you share her photo or story apart from this blog. In other words, feel free to share this blog as a whole, but do not share her pictures or details on your own. The far majority of my wonderful readers will understand that, but if you are one of the ones who does not, please stop reading and move along.

For the last 3 1/2 weeks our rural village ministry has been shut down due to vehicle problems. My mechanic, Joaquin, has been working valiantly to get my 4-Runner on the road again, but the problems have been massive and the delays, many. However, last week I was finally able to find a good truck and made the purchase last Tuesday. It is a 2008 Mitsubishi L200 diesel that has a crew cab and lots of cargo room. On Monday of this week I picked it up and immediately went to install new tires, get it serviced, purchase a brush guard and order a cap for the back.

On Tuesday we received word that the little girl in Quiche that we have been waiting for would be ready to be picked-up on Friday, so we made the decision to leave Wednesday for San Pablo La Laguna, spend a full day of ministry there on Thursday, and then come back by Quiche on Friday to pick-up the little girl. It turns out that it wasn’t as simple as we had hoped.

Our departure on Wednesday was delayed by a necessary trip to Guatemala City to do some paperwork for my new truck.  Because of traffic, typical Guatemala bureaucracy, and a mud slide that left us sitting in traffic for an hour, I was not able to get home, load up and leave for San Pablo until 3:30. But, at last, Wanda, Brittney, Daniel and I set-out.

This trip was a great christening for our new truck. On the way up we hit rain, heavy fog, traffic, and very rough roads, but she performed beautifully. We finally arrived at our motel at 9:30 and crashed hard for the evening.

The next day we had a great series of visits with families. Her are some of the high points:

• Marta Delores – This little girl has been suffering with 5 or 6 seizures a night and has slept very little over the last three months as a result. On Wednesday we had her and three other children from San Pablo down to see our neurologist, and he gave her medicine to treat the seizures. When we arrived on Thursday morning her grandmother told us that she had slept all night long without a seizure and was still sleeping! We went into her room and carried on a complete conversation and she remained in a peaceful sleep. What a joy it is to see this little girl get some relief!
• Oscar – You may remember that Oscar is a young man who fell out of a tree and broke his back while harvesting avocados. When we found him he was suffering greatly from the worst bedsores I have ever seen. Due to pain and infections he had lost lots of weight and was malnourished. We provided him with a special mattress and cushion for his wheelchair, along with monthly bandages thanks to a US sponsor, and trained the local workers from the health center to treat him daily. When we arrived on Thursday he was sitting in his wheelchair and I believe he had gained at least 10 pounds since we first met him. His sores are much better and improving by the month.
• Michael – Little Michael and his mother are very much enjoying their new bed, provided by a sponsor. They are sleeping much better now that they are not on the floor on a crib mattress. They have become a special part of our family.

 

 

 

Back on September 6th we experience and earthquake here that shook a significant percentage of the country. We evacuated our home, ran into the courtyard and waited for the shaking to stop. We experienced no damage to our home or possessions, but others did not fair as well. Several homes were destroyed near the epicenter and many more were damaged. In San Pablo, where many homes are constructed of mud bricks, we found numerous families who had experienced damage to their houses and are now afraid that another quake will bring them down. Diego’s family, in particular, now has large cracks in all four corners of their mud brick home and are afraid to remain there. But they have no where else to go. Please pray for these families.

On Thursday evening, as we were eating supper, I received an e-mail from the US Embassy in Guatemala saying that a sink hole had opened up on uthe main road to Quiche, claiming five lives and closing the road for months. That meant that the only way to Quiche to pick-up the little girl would be a rough back road drive. So, the next morning we headed out early and made it to the city of Chichicastenango, where the back roads were to begin. Unfortunately, we arrived just as a huge Independence Day parade was beginning and could not get through. Daniel called PGN and they arranged to send us a police escort to meet us and guide us through the back roads. So, my truck was once again baptized by fire.

Finally, we arrived at PGN where we squeezed in two more people and drove another hour to the town of Joyalapa where our new little one was waiting in the hospital. When we arrived, we had a tense 30 minutes because we were told that the three people in the hospital who could sign her out had left for the day. This was after a 5 hour drive on our part and after PGN had called ahead to tell them that we were coming. Miraculously, after they received a call from the judge’s office, the necessary personnel showed up. It was then that we met our newest daughter who had been abandoned by her mother.

We were taken back to the nurses station and one of the nurses went into a storage room and rolled out a basinet with a bundle of blanket inside. At first, this made me angry because I thought they were treating here differently because of her special needs. I could not have been more wrong.

I approached her bed and slowly unwrapped my little girl and was overwhelmed with emotion when I saw her. You see, we were told that this little girl had Kleeblatt Schadel Syndrome, what others calls “clover head” and we knew that her needs were likely severe. But nothing prepared us for the suffering little girl that we discovered there.

This syndrome is caused by premature fusing of the fibrous sutures, resulting in abnormalities of the skull and facial bones. The results are a cloverleaf shaped head. This condition is very rare and she is only the third documented instance in all of Guatemala. In our little girl’s case, the resulting pressure of cerebral fluid caused her eyes to bulge severely and rendered her blind. The doctors, therefore, made the decision to remove her eyes. In addition, her ears have been stretched out of place and are down on the bottom of her cheeks. There are no observable ear openings, se we suspect she is deaf or nearly so. The doctors have made the decision to suspend further treatment, such as surgery on her skull or a cerebral shunt, deciding that, while these things could possibly prolong her life, her quality of life would be very poor. So, they have asked the courts to stop further medical intervention. The courts have agreed. The doctor told us to feed her, make her as comfortable as possible, love her and trust the will of God.

While her head is swollen and misshapen, her body is tiny. She wears preemie size diapers and her limbs are little more than skin and bones. The nurses have lovingly cared for her, and many came out to say goodbye with tears in their eyes. They also gave us two bags of clothing, diapers, bibs, blankets and formula that they had donated personally (almost unheard of here). For the last four months they have fed her every 2 to 3 hours, changed her, rocked her and loved her. I list those ladies among my personal heroes. They explained that they moved her from the regular nursery to the storage room because so many were coming by to just look at her. They wanted her to be closer to them and not be on display. God bless them!

Even with her severe special needs, her personality comes through. Her little tongue is active and she loves her bottle. She interacts with us by squeezing her hand. She is one of only two people who likes my singing (the other, Gloria, is deaf as well). I think the vibrations from my chest soothe her.

She has never been given an official name, but the nurses explained that a priest had come in and christened her with the name Ruth. In respect for the nurses who loved and cared for her so wonderfully, we have chosen to keep that as her first name. For her second name, we have chosen Esperanza (Hope). We could think of no more fitting name for this precious little child.

I cannot explain to you how much we love this little girl already. She is beautiful to us and we feel very, very protective of her. So many in this culture treat people with special needs as a curse or as monsters, but Ruth Esperanza is anything but those. She is our little blessing, and we feel honored that God has entrusted us with her. I can think of no higher privilege that God could give us. The way Brittney said it was this, “We get to carry her to Jesus.”

That is very true, and when that day comes I know that she will be with Him and be perfectly healthy. But can I be honest for a minute? I don’t want to carry her to Jesus. I want to make her better. I want to fix her head and take away her pain (she is suffering greatly). I want her to laugh. I want her eyes to dance at the sight of colors. I want her to play and believe and dream and dance to the sound of music. And I want every person to see her as I do now. And I want every person to love her as our family does.

Please, don’t write me to give me theological correction. I know she will be far better off with Jesus when that time comes. I really don’t need a lecture. I love my little Esperanza and I am hurting knowing that, barring a miracle, I will have to say goodbye to her soon. And even as I know that, I still fall more in love with her each passing minute, as does our family.

Please pray for Esperanza. Please pray for our family as we love her and carry her to Jesus.

And if some of you have read to the end of this blog yet fail to see how beautiful Esperanza is, I pray that God will open your blind eyes to see as He does.

Blessings from Guate,

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew.