Food Fights

For the last few months we have been fighting a battle to get Angelita and Thania to eat. Both of them came to us suffering the effects of malnutrition. Both of them have had their growth severely stunted by a lack of nourishment, with Thania (age 13) being about the size of a skinny four year old and Angelita (age 7) looking like a  2 1/2 year old. Both of them are still under 20 pounds, in spite of many hours of coaxing bottles of special formula into them.

Thania has been our greatest concern, as she is so very weak and susceptible to every illness that comes along. We are currently battling her fourth infection in as many months, and her wrists are only slightly larger in diameter than my thumbs. She can barely raise her head.

So, after a few months of consulting with our doctor, we finally decided to have both Thania and Angelita placed on feeding tubes. This enables us to get the nutrition they need into their body without the trauma for force feeding them. It also cuts the amount of time we spend feeding them from about 12 man-hours a day to about two.

But, along with the benefits come challenges. Thania does not like having the tube and has pulled it out twice now. On Saturday morning Angelita had a grande mal seizure and in her spasms yanked her tub almost all the way out. Each time a feeding tube gets pulled it requires a delicate reinsertion and testing to make sure the tube is in the stomach and not their lungs. I confess that I hate doing this and usually feel exhausted by the end. But, as difficult as it is for me, it is a cake walk compared to what the girls go through.

I would ask you to please be in prayer for these little ones, especially Thania. She is still so weak that a significant respiratory illness or basic infection could threaten her life. Please pray that God will heal and strengthen them both and help them gain weight.

Our Ministry Coordinator, April Clark, has recently returned from an extended stay in the States, and I am glad to have her back! While she was there she spoke is several churches regarding our ministry and was able to raise additional support for this work. Now that she is back, she is hard at work preparing for team season.

Speaking of team season, it is approaching rapidly. A number of you have expressed interest in bringing groups this Summer, so if you have not begun the process, please do so immediately. Just send an e-mail message to april@hopeforhome.org.

Our goal for leading teams was to bring down people to help children with special needs, but recently God has been showing us another opportunity that we have. In the last year we hosted two families that brought along a child with special needs. One of these children has spina bifida and another has autism. Most missions trips are closed to families of children with disabilities, but because of our unique ministry we were able to accommodate them, and everyone had a meaningful and life-changing trip.

So, this is a special invitation to those families who have one or more members with special needs. If you have decided that short-term missions are closed to you, I want you to know that they are not. We can custom-design a trip for you and your family to allow your entire family to participate and make a difference. So, if you are interested, write to April Clark at april@hopeforhome.org.

I have been off the road for the last few months except for trips related to Hogar de la Esperanza. Dale Beyer has assumed most of the responsibility for our rural village ministry. But tomorrow I will be heading up to the lake for a visit to San Pablo La Laguna. I am looking forward to spending time with families and catching up with them again. These trips always fan my flames and give me a fresh burst of energy. At the same time, my absence creates greater challenges and workload for Wanda, so please keep her in your prayers.

That´s all for now. Blessings from Guate!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Faithful

I can honestly say that the last six months have been the most challenging period of my life. It seems that the perfect storm was unleashed on Wanda and I and has knocked us for a loop. A personal family matter has weighed heavily on our hearts. The opening of Hogar de la Esperanza has required extremely long days and weeks for us as we have adjusted to this new life and family. The enemy has been active seeking to deceive and divide our team. And the loss of our little Esperanza has taken us to depths of grief that we never imagined.

Any one of these things would be difficult to face. Together they have left us feeling beaten and scarred. There have been days that I have had trouble dragging myself out of bed in the morning and then wanted to crawl back in by 10:00 am. I honestly feel like I have aged 10 years in the last half year.

Yesterday a friend confronted me about my disposition. He pointed out that I was lacking some of the fruit of the Spirit in my life, namely joy and patience. As I was confronted by his words I had no argument or defense. He is right. I have allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my joy and some of the very characteristics that should define my life. Those words were hard to hear, but the truth often hurts in order to heal.

As I was praying about this last night, I asked the Lord to help me focus my eyes on Him again. It is so easy to watch the waves instead of the One who walks on them. And, as always, God is so gracious and forgiving. I felt His presence anew and His forgiveness flowed through me. This morning I approached the day with joy and hope for the first time in months.

At the same time, I have also been humbled by a fresh awareness of God’s faithfulness. In spite of my unfaithfulness, God has been moving around me.

One of our great prayers when moving here was that God would use us to create a place of healing and hope. Somehow He has done that. When the inspectors from CNA came to our home for the first time they praised the care we were providing and the program we created. And we quickly gave credit to Jesus. Each hearing for the kids has produced praises from the judges, social workers and psychologist regarding the progress of the kids. And each time we have told them that it was Jesus who was bringing healing. A few days ago little Angelita laughed loud and long for the first time. (When she first came to us she was totally non-responsive.) We know that is God’s healing occurring in her. Each night we tuck the children into bed to the sounds of laughter and squeals as we kiss and tickle and love and know that God has given these children hope and a place of belonging. Even as I type this the sounds of play outside flood into my office, and I can’t help but wonder where these children would be if God had not done all of this.

Angelita laughs for the first time!

Meanwhile, God continues to grow and build our rural village ministry under Dale Beyer’s leadership. God is bringing deeper connections and sharing with families and He is being glorified.

And as I see the things that God has been doing while I have been sinking in the waves, I realize again why it is so good that He does the real work of this ministry. I am so glad that it does not depend on me. If it did, this ministry would have sank right along with me. But it did not. God has continued to build this work while I have been fighting to keep my head above water.

I am reminded that God does not change or shift with circumstances or my fickle nature. He is faithful. I am also freshly aware that this ministry does not revolve around me and is not about me at all. It is all about Him and the story He is telling to the world.

At present, things are looking up. God is restoring unity where there was once division. We are in a groove regarding our home and schedule, and life is getting easier as the work days are getting shorter once again. And, while the pain of losing Esperanza is still deep, we are all able to at least breathe again and laugh more. And at times like this it is tempting to say that we have turned a corner. To think that from this point things are going to get better. I hope so, but I really don’t know that. Satan is still real and active and he hates our entire team and wants us divided. Another great loss and deep grief could be just around the corner. The loss of personnel could throw us into longer days and weeks again. I don’t know what the next minute holds, much less tomorrow.

But hopefully I have learned my lesson. I pray that the next time I face these valleys I will do so with my fruit intact. I would like to think I will, but I know me better than most. I will likely take my eyes off the Wave-Walker at some point and start sinking again. I am stupid like that. And so I place my hope in the One who is faithful in the face of my unfaithfulness. And that will have to be enough.

Greetings from Guatemala!

Daryl

Our Little Esperanza

The last three days have been surreal. From the moment Esperanza left us until now seems like a fuzzy dream that I am still trying to comprehend. To help me do so, allow me to write and get it out.

The process of death, funeral and burial in Guatemala is very different than in the US. In the States there is a concerted effort to separate the family and loved ones from the deceased. When someone dies they are quickly whisked away and the family only sees them for brief periods after the body has been cleaned, embalmed and prepared. The opposite is true here. Esperanza never left our home until we walked to the cemetery for her burial.

For the first five hours after she passed away we simply took turns holding her. I took her and placed a fresh diaper on her and made sure she was clean. Then we chose to bury her in the beautiful sleeper she wore for her half-birthday celebration and wrap her in the extra soft purple blanket we bought her as one of her Christmas presents. Those hours were precious to us as we each said goodbye. We were even able to Skype with Brittney who is in the States completing her student teaching for her degree. This was important for us and for Brittney.

Our neighbor and landlord came over in the afternoon and offered to help us with arranging her grave. He walked us up to the cemetery and had us choose a spot. Then he, along with his brother and two nephews, dug the grave for us. We were so blessed and touched by their friendship and help.

Early that evening a man brought us the casket. It was covered in white satin with pink lace trim. It was placed in our living room and we placed her inside in front of our Christmas Tree. Then the visitors began to arrive. Countless people came through our door that evening to visit and simply sit in our home with us, the last of which left around midnight. There is a strong sense of community here, and we were deeply blessed and touched by each of those that supported us.

The next morning chairs were delivered and set-up in our courtyard and we carried the casket out. At 9 am the people began to arrive and simply sit to be present with us. The service followed at 10 am, with our pastor, Victor Barbella, officiating and the Beyer family and Daniel providing music. Together they all provided a beautiful tribute to our Esperanza. At the end, I stood up and shared the gospel from my point of view as her father. Once again, Brittney was able to share in the service via Skype and was able to even take the walk with us to the cemetery afterwards via remote internet and an I-pad.

Then, we all walked to the cemetery. Krishauna, Taryn, Jeremiah and Kristin Beyer carried the casket. I shared some scripture, we sang a song, and the casket was lowered into the ground. People threw in flowers and the hole was filled as we gathered around and watched. Then flowers were placed on top and we returned to our home to serve coffee and bread. We will be ordering a tombstone soon. Close friends hung around and ate lunch with us.

Then they left. And we are trying to figure out how to get back to normal…whatever that is. Late in the afternoon Wanda and, I along with our children, walked up to the cemetery again. With just us there we talked and cried and remember. And we reminded one another that Esperanza was with Jesus and that we would survive and move on in life and ministry while never forgetting her and always loving her.

But it is hard, because everything reminds us of her. Yesterday our little Kimmie was folding laundry and she began to cry. Wanda asked her what was wrong, and she said, “I just realized that this is the last time I will ever fold Esperanza’s laundry.” This afternoon I walked past the special pillow she used, and my heart broke and I began to weep. I can’t even begin to tell you how badly I want to kiss her cheek again and feel her little fingers grasping mine and playing with my goatee.

Esperanza was and is my daughter. I know the legal paperwork doesn’t acknowledge me as her dad, but I am. I love her every bit as much as my own children, both biological and adopted. And, if I could have, I would have adopted her as my own.

There is no way I can describe the depth of my love for her, but the way to come closest is to share this truth: I would have traded places with her. I spent many hours holding, feeding, changing and playing with her, and during that time I often prayed that God would let me take her place. If I could have, I would have taken her blindness on myself so that she could see. I would have taken her deafness so that she could hear. I would have taken her sickness so that she could live. If I could have had my own way, I would have been the one buried Tuesday and she would be playing happily in our living room right now. I so badly wish that I could have died so that she could live. That is a glimpse of my love for her, and still it is only a shadow.

I know that she is whole now. I know that she is seeing and hearing and dancing and running and loving and more full of joy than I could even imagine. And I do rejoice for her, as does our whole family. But, at the same time, our hearts are broken and grieving. I have never known pain this bad or this deep. I have to keep reminding myself to just breathe and that we will get through this. I have to make myself keep moving because I feel like if I stop I will never start again. So, I keep walking and crying out to God for help and strength. Right now I need Him so desperately that I could not function without His hand holding me up.

Yet, in the midst of this pain God still is teaching me. For the last few months, because of Esperanza’s influence on my life, I am beginning to understand the love of God in a deeper way.

He has taught me something that I have always known in my head, but now know in my heart: Just as I so desperately wanted to take Esperanza’s place, He took mine. He looked on my blindness, deafness and death-filled life and took that all on Himself. He died my death so that I could live and see and hear and know Him. And, suddenly, the love of God is very real to me. It is not just words on a page. It in not just facts I believe. It is passion, it is truth and it is real.

And it is true for each one of us. He looks at each one of us and begs to take our place. His heart breaks when we deny Him that. His heart soars when we embrace that offer. It is hard for me to believe, but as great as my love is for Esperanza, His love is far, far greater. It is so great that my fallen and feeble heart could not contain it. A tiny little girl that most of the world rejected has taught me far more than the world’s greatest theologians and all my years of education and study.

And so, because of that love, I will survive this pain and loss. Our family will survive and continue this ministry. Because our Jesus is so very good and His love is so very great.

For each of you that never had the chance to meet Esperanza, I am so very sorry. Heaven came to earth and lived in our home. I wish you could have experienced it first-hand. If you are a Christ follower, one day I will introduce you in heaven. But just to warn you, you will likely have to stand in line, because she will definitely be among the greatest there.

Thanks for your prayers. We need them now more than ever.

Below are two things that I have decided to share. One is a letter that I have written to Esperanza. The other is a video tribute put together by our friend, Amy Fraley, in Troy, Ohio.

Daryl, Wanda and Family

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A Letter to My Little Esperanza

Esperanza,

We love you so very much and miss you more than I could explain. God gave us the privilege of being your family, and it was one of the greatest gifts He could have given us. It is an honor to be your earthly daddy, mommy, sisters and brothers because you have filled our lives with so much joy, love and memories. You were only with us a short time, but it was so very precious to us.

I know that you are now with Jesus. I know that He has given you a new body free of blemish and illness. I know you can see and hear and run and dance. I know that you are beautiful, more beautiful than I could ever imagine. But I want you to know something…you were so very beautiful here as well. I loved the shape of your head and your perfect little face. I loved your tiny tongue and lips, your bony little knees and twisted feet. I loved your little belly and how you would sigh contentedly when I would rub it. All of these things made you who you were, our little Esperanza. You were beautiful on earth, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are everywhere. You are all over our home and filling my heart. I see you on our sofa, on the love seat in our bedroom. You are in my office, where I last saw you and spoke to you and kissed you. You are in your special seat and on your special pillow. You are all around me and in me. And you are loved.

I held you a lot, but I wish I had held you more. There were times when I was responsible to care for you at night and I was tired. Instead of being excited about the time I would spend with you, I was disappointed in the sleep I would lose. Please forgive me. I wish I could have one more night on “Esperanza duty.” If I could, we wouldn’t sleep at all. We would play and talk all night. You would play with my goatee, and I would sing and you would be soothed by my rumbling chest. I would tell you again how beautiful you are and how deeply you are loved. Oh, for just one more night with you…one more hour…one more minute.

I told you a lot how much I love you, how much our family loves you, but if I could do it over again, I would tell you more. There has never been a child more loved than you.

You are no longer with us in body, but little Esperanza, you are and will always be in our hearts. Because of you, we will love better, forgive quicker and embrace more frequently.  Because of you, we will see beauty where others miss it. Because of you, we will love God more and follow Him closer. And, because of you, we are richer and more blessed than most.

I know you are in our Daddy’s arms now, and I am so very happy for you. He is loving you far better than I ever could, and one day He will hold and love me in person as well. But I want you to know that for as long as I live you will have an earthly daddy, too. You have an earthly family that will always love you, remember you and miss you. And we will always be so grateful that God gave you to us for that short little while.

I love you, my little Esperanza! I will see you soon!

Your Earthly Daddy

Esperanza Is in Jesus’ Arms Now

Esperanza went to be with Jesus this afternoon. In spite of knowing that this day was coming, I still was not prepared.

Wanda and the staff and volunteers were having a time of prayer while the children napped and Esperanza was in her seat close by. At then end of that time, Krishauna went over to pick her up and realized that she was gone. As we have prayed so many times, she went in her sleep without suffering.

At that moment Esperanza saw for the first time, and her first sight was Jesus’ face. She took her very first step, and it was into His arms. I write now with the firm assurance that Esperanza is safe, whole and happy. My grief is rooted in my loss, not in hers, for she has lost nothing and gained everything.

We have all taken turns holding her and saying goodbye. It was hard for me because I have always loved the way she would grasp and play with my fingers while moving her little mouth and tongue. This time her hands and mouth were still, and I could not stop crying. Never has their been a child more beautiful or more loved than Esperanza, and never have I known a deeper grief.

And yet, at the same time, I rejoice. She is now in the arms of the only One I would entrust to take my place as her father. The One who makes all things new and perfect. The One who is holding her and loving her far better than I ever could. She is home. And, for that, I am grateful.

She was happy and content at the end. Just this morning Wanda sat holding her while I worked. She was cooing and “talking” more than I had ever heard before. I want to give thanks to God for taking her in a way that was peaceful and without pain. And I also want to give thanks to Him for giving us the privilege of being her family for this brief time and letting us carry her home. I am truly honored.

God is good, all the time…all the time, God is good. Run and play with Him, Esperanza!

Daryl, Wanda and Family

2013 Year-end Report

The past 12 months have been filled with milestones as God continues to bless and build His kingdom through this ministry. We continue to be awed and humbled at what He is doing around us. The biggest challenge we face is staying out of His way as He works.

So, what has been happening in 2013? Here is a brief summary:

Hogar de la Esperanza Is Open!

After 2 ½ years of working toward authorization, we finally received our license for our group home on August 7^th. It is hard to describe what an emotional time that was for us as we finally saw this dream become reality. Suddenly the mountains of paperwork, days of meetings and long lists of regulations were worth it when the license was placed in our hands.

The past five months since that day have been some of the most challenging of our lives as we have begun receiving children and accepting the vast amount of responsibilities that come along with them. We currently have eight children in our home and have decided to turn down requests for additional placements. Our home is licensed to receive more, but because of the severe health issues of several of the children, we have decided to limit the intake of children until they are stable.

Let me take a moment to introduce you to the children in our home:

Yennifer is 11 years old and has Noonan Syndrome. This causes her to have drooping eyelids and significant cognitive delays. However, she is very friendly and sweet and has adjusted well to our home. The last several years have been difficult for her as her mother died four years ago and her father passed away last year. Her grandmother has been doing her best to care for her since then, but was completely overwhelmed. So, the local judge arranged for her to be placed in our home. Her favorite activities are eating and dancing. (We have regular family dance parties in our home.) On most days, she attaches herself to someone and follows him/her around with a smile on her face.

Rafael is 11 years old and has cerebral palsy. We have actually known him for over 1 ½ years as one of the sponsored children through our ministry, and we have been very concerned about the care he was receiving in his home. We usually found him dirty and lying in his crib all hours of the day. So, when our home was licensed we approached his mother and asked her if she would consider having him placed in our home. She agreed, so the courts removed him and placed him with us. He is now receiving physical and occupational therapy, and the improvement is noticeable. He smiles a lot these days.

Alejandra is 11 years old and has cerebral palsy. She also has a beautiful smile that lights up the room. She was abandoned by her mother, who did not want to care for a child with special needs. Her father abused her and was recently sent to jail for robbery. When we were told her story, we were expecting a sad, withdrawn child. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She is engaging, smart and outgoing. She has a wonderful laugh and seems to love being in our home. She loves coloring, writing and puzzles.

Christian is 4 years old and has autism, as well as significant sight and hearing impairment. (He is legally blind and deaf.) He is a short-term placement in our home as his family came to us seeking help with his conditions. They live in a very remote part of Guatemala, and there are few resources near them to assist with his care. For a while, they were riding a chicken bus five hours (one way) to physical therapy sessions once a week, but decided they could no longer take that much time and money for a half hour session. We have received him into our home in order to have medical evaluations and receive therapy and education. His parents will be coming down to visit him every five weeks for the purpose of being trained in therapy and techniques that will help him long-term. We are hopeful that he can return to their home after nine months or a year. Already the improvements are significant. When he first arrived he would not use his hands for even basic tasks. There seemed to be a disconnect between his hands and his brain. Now when we place food in his hand he takes it to his mouth and will even hold his own sipper cup while he drinks. He has also begun to reach out to grab and hold toys.

Esperanza – Esperanza is almost eight months old and has a rare condition called Kleeblattschaedel syndrome which caused her head to be shaped like a clover. This, combined with hydrocephalus, causes severe pressure on her brain. Due to this pressure, the doctors chose to remove her eyes because they were bulging severely. She is also deaf. This condition, without extreme surgical intervention at a young age, is almost always fatal. We have been told by the courts to care for her and give her lots of love until her time comes. While you might have difficulty seeing her beauty, our family has fallen hopelessly in love with little Esperanza and find her to be gorgeous. As she grows, her hands have become far more active and explorative. She loves touching our faces and seems to particularly enjoy my goatee. She has two favorite toys that she spends hours touching and rubbing. If you spend more than five minutes with her, you will fall for her as well. It is our privilege to be the ones to carry her to Jesus.

Brayan – We do not know Brayan’s age. The court has told us that he is 10 at one point and 12 at another. We have no legal paperwork for him except the placement papers from the judge. When the court called to ask us if we would take him, we were told that he had cognitive delays and cerebral palsy. When he arrived it became obvious that he did not have cerebral palsy. In fact, he is very healthy physically and is an active child. He loves to help around the house and beams when he receives praise. He also really loves to eat and always requests seconds, thirds, fourths…

Thania – While Thania looks like she is only 4 or 5, she is actually 13 years old. She came to us weighing only 19 pounds with lots of severe medical conditions, including infections, hip dysplasia and malnutrition. She will require intensive surgery to correct her hip problems, but we cannot proceed with addressing that issue until she is stronger. So, her life is filled with doctors, exams, medicines and special formula to help her grow and gain strength. For obvious reasons, she is not a happy child. She seems to be in almost constant pain and struggles to swallow. We feel as if we are fighting daily for her life.

Angelita – Angelita is another child who looks much younger that she is. You would assume that she was only 1 ½ , but she is actually 7 years old. The 18 month sized clothing she wears is still baggy on her and, like Thania, she struggles to chew and swallow. We are still trying to diagnose and treat all of her issues which include malnutrition, seizures and infections. Her life is hanging in the balance and we are working hard to help her gain weight and strength. It was recently determined that she has hydrocephalus and will likely need a neurosurgeon to install a cerebral shunt.

Growth

In 2013 our ministry grew in more ways than one. Our team here grew as we welcomed April Clark as our Ministry Coordinator. She has been such a blessing to our work as she has assumed the responsibility of coordinating and leading the ministry teams that frequently come. In addition, she has helped to get our rural village ministry organized by creating inventories, checklists and systems to assure we run smoothly. I don’t know what we would do without her.

We also had the privilege of welcoming the Beyer family from Missouri. These long-term friends made their move to Guatemala in May and have adjusted well to the culture, the people and this ministry. Dale will be serving as Assistant Director of Asociación Ministerio de Esperanza and leading our rural village ministry. Already he has assumed much of the responsibility of this work. In addition, their two daughters, Kristin and Kathlyn, have been playing a key role as they have served as nannies in Hogar de la Esperanza. Finally, their family is assisting with the leadership of our ministry teams.

Aura King joined our staff as a nanny in April. We have known Aura for some time, having worked with her 11 year old daughter, Katerin, who has special needs. When we realized that we needed to hire more staff, she was one of the first people who came to mind. She is great with the children and is one of the best cooks and housekeepers we have ever met. She has been a great blessing to our home.

Finally, our daughter, Carissa, has joined our team as Co-director of our group home. She has plans to move to Uganda and open up a group home for girls with special needs based upon the model we have here. The work she is doing with us combines to provide us with much needed help while also preparing her for that ministry. She is currently overseeing the care of the children and managing their medicines, therapy and schedules. We are so grateful for her work.

As our staff has grown, so has our ministry. Over the last year our rural village ministry has worked in 22 villages with 114 families. Of those families, 80 of them have received monthly or semi-monthly support and visits. Each month we deliver 867 pounds of food, milk and formula and approximately $800 of medicine. In 2013 we provided 16 wheelchairs, four sets of crutches, three walkers, and four pairs of ankle and foot orthotics (leg braces). We also provided 42 visits to doctors and specialists and 51 medical tests, including MRI’s, EEG’s, X-rays, and blood work.

To be honest, the growth of this ministry has surpassed my comfort level. This work has stretched me physically, emotionally and spiritually in ways that I had not imagined. So, as we look ahead to 2014, I am very grateful for the team with which God has surrounded me.

Spiritual Challenges

As I have written about numerous times in the past, we face significant spiritual barriers here in Guatemala. The greatest challenge we face is the religion that consumes this culture. Most everyone in the culture is either Evangelical or Catholic, so the word “Jesus” is frequently spoken. However, the understanding of who He is and what it means to follow Him is often quite shallow. Religious traditions consume this culture, and so do false teachings.

In Evangelical circles the prosperity Gospel continues to dominate. As a result, we often find families walking under the weight of self-condemnation because they struggle with poverty and a child with special needs. “Surely,” they believe, “if we were doing what Jesus wants us to do he would heal our child and give us more money. So He must be upset with us.” We fight this mindset and false theology constantly. One of our greatest ministries is helping these families come to understand a God that walks with them through their hardships. Slowly we are beginning to see the understanding come and, along with it, joy in poverty and hardship.

Please pray for us as we seek to show others Jesus, not as He has been distorted to be, but for who He really is. Of course, for us to do that, we have to see Him for ourselves on a daily basis. So, please pray that all of our team continues to fall more in love with Him.

Looking Ahead

As we move into 2014 we face challenges and opportunities, as always. As I type this, we are in the midst of revising some of our previous plans. We had hoped to begin our Maternity Care Ministry early this year, but the mid-wife who had planned to join us and lead that work has been called in a different direction. While this is disappointing to us, we are confident that God provides both the resources and the personnel for the work He wants to do at the appropriate time. So, when He is ready for this work to begin, we know He will open the way.

In mid-January we will be adding Manuel and Christine Moran to our ministry. This wonderful Guatemalan couple will be overseeing the professionals who work with our group home, scheduling and providing transportation for children to appointments and tests, and helping me work on my Spanish skills.

We also hope to have a trained nurse joining us in 2014. Katie Riley is in the process of raising support and preparing for her move, so we are excited about this greatly needed addition to our team.

We continue to pray that God will raise up couples and families to join us and open additional group homes. Our eventual goal is to see 10 such homes opened and caring for children in a family setting.

Our daughter, Brittney, is currently in the States completing her student teaching requirements. Once that is done, she will graduate with a dual degree of Elementary Education and Special Education. She will then return to Guatemala with plans of moving to San Pablo La Laguna to begin a ministry to children with special needs. We are excited to see how God uses her as she serves with Hope for Home Ministries in this capacity.

Likewise, we anticipate that our other daughter, Carissa, will begin the process of fundraising to prepare for her move to Uganda to open the group home there. This will expand our ministry to a different country and continent.

Prayer Requests:

· Please pray for unity within our team. The enemy constantly seeks to divide and gain a foothold, and we are all on the front lines of battle. Pray that we will keep our eyes on Jesus so that we will be unified in our work.

· Please pray for God’s continued provision. As our ministry has grown, so has our budget. In the last six months we have seen new monthly sponsors and have found creative ways to cut our expenses, but our income is still less than the required monthly spending. Therefore we continue to rely on God’s supernatural provision.

· Please pray for the children in our home. All of them are facing major challenges and three have serious health problems. There are days when we must fight for their lives. Please pray that God will heal, comfort and strengthen each of these precious children.

· Please pray for the workers in our home. The care of these children requires much time, attention and patience. Because of the special needs of some of the children, feedings take an average of 14-15 man-hours every day. Please seek God for strength, patience and joy for each of our workers.

· Please pray that God will raise up someone else to begin the Maternity Care Ministry. This is a greatly needed area of service that we had hoped to begin soon.

· Please pray for Dale Beyer, Gerardo Hernandez and their rural village work. This ministry requires wisdom, strength and patience. Please ask God to fill them with lots of each.

· Please pray for my family and me. We currently live in a fish bowl with staff and professionals coming and going from our home at all hours of the days. In addition, we carry the responsibility for the care of the children when the staff goes home in the evening and on the weekends. Please pray that we will continue to find joy in the work and strength in Him.

Thank you to each of you who have prayed, given and served to enable this ministry to continue! May God bless you richly in 2014!

Because of Him!

Daryl Fulp

Director, Hope for Home Ministries

Dirty

Since moving to Guatemala our lives have become a lot dirtier. One of the things that we find ourselves laughing about is how germ-a-phobic the typical American is and how one must surrender those fears if they are going to survive in Guatemala. As I have worked in rural village ministry over the last 2 1/2 years I have crawled in mud, drank contaminated water, and eaten food that made me sick. I have had dirty children’s hands stroke my face and have been peed, pooped and puked on more times than I would care to count. This dirty existence has been a part of my life as I have gone out into other people’s homes.

Recently, however, we have gone through a transition. As we have opened our group home we have found that we don’t have to go out to get dirty, because the dirt has come to us. As we have brought in these wonderful eight children, we have dealt with the following:

1. Lice
2. Super lice (resistant to the strongest of lice shampoo)
3. Scabies
4. Mites
5. Gallons of drool
6. Lots and lots of pee and poop

I personally spent a large part of yesterday in a dermatologist’s office with a family member getting treatment for mites and learning how to eradicate them completely from our household. (Fortunately, it is not hard to treat and get rid of this type.) When I finally returned home I was greeted by Brayan (age 12 with cognitive delays) who proceeded to pee and defacate his pants in copious amounts. So, I spent a half hour helping him get cleaned up and showered, followed by another 15 minutes trying to get myself clean.

Simply put, our lives are dirty by choice. Don’t get me wrong, we face these sanitary issues vigorously. We treat lice, scabies and mites quickly and fiercely until not a single nit or mite remains. We sterilize bedding, spray furniture, bag toys and pillows, pick nits and declare war on these invading forces. We purchase anti bacterial wipes and soap in bulk. But we have learned that life and ministry can, and should, be dirty.

Face it, we could clean up our lives real quickly if we were to leave behind this ministry. We could live in a much more sterile environment if we would keep these little ones out. Or, we could continue to take them in but do so at an arm’s length. I will admit, when the courts bring a child to our door it can be tempting not to embrace them until their head has been checked and treated and rashes have been examined and cleared. But when they come to us, the last thing they need is a clinical exam. The first thing they need is love. So we hold them, hug them and sit them on our laps, even if they are still wet with urine and stink from days without a bath. As a result, we get dirty.

As we approach Christmas, I have been thinking a lot about the dirtiness of ministry. Why? Because Jesus knows what it means to get dirty in order to love. After all, that really is what Christmas is all about. Jesus left heaven and came as a urinating, defecating and drooling infant. And when He was born He was not laid in a sterile hospital bed, but in an animal feed trough, surrounded by the stench of manure. Can you imagine the parasites and bacteria that surrounded him as he lay on his birth bed? His first visitors were shepherds who were not welcome in most places because of their smell. He made His entrance into our fallen world in the dirtiest of locales to the dirtiest of people.

This was a foreshadowing of His life. As he grew and began to minister, we see a man/God who walked into the mire of this sinful world in order to lead people out. He broke the spiritual cleanliness laws of the Pharisees over and over again. He touched the dead and the leprous. He walked through Samaria and spoke and socialized with Samaritans. He went to parties hosted by tax collectors and seemed more at home among the lost sheep of prostitutes and thieves than among the the ruling religious class of His day. He wore the accusation “friend of sinners” as a welcomed title. Jesus walked right into the filth of both humanity and its sin in order to love, serve and save. And it all began in a dirty manger.

Loving and serving people in this fallen world is not a sterile undertaking. It is messy, even filthy, at times. We cannot remain in sterile churches singing praise choruses and waiting for those outside to clean-up and come to us. And, face it, if they come before they are clean they are, too often, rejected. That is not love and ministry as God modeled it. If we are to reach a dying world we cannot shy away from disease and dirt. We cannot run away from sin and its effects. We cannot stand at a distance while shaking our heads at things like drugs, prostitution, abuse, dysfunction, alcoholism and abortion. We have to run toward them and wade into the lives of those held captive. We have to get dirty as we embrace them, love them and lead them to freedom. And any church that tells us to do otherwise is not preaching the true Gospel.

(Before you write me to correct my theology, let me clarify…when I say “get dirty” I am not speaking of indulging in sin. Obviously, God’s Word teaches that we are to be holy as God is holy, so I would never encourage anyone in sinning. I am speaking of the messiness that comes from engaging and loving those ensnared by sin and brokenness. And I am speaking against the false theology of churches that promote isolationism of both the church and believers from the very sinners we are called to reach. Like Jesus, we should also be called “a friend of sinners” and wear that accusation of the religious as a welcomed title.)

We are Christians (little Christs) and are to walk in His steps. So, if we really want to honor Him this Christmas we should wade out of the safety of our churches and into the messiness of this world in order to help others see and know Him. After all, that is exactly what He did for us.

This has been just a few ponderings from the midst of this very dirty ministry. Blessings from Guatemala as you get dirty for the One who got dirty for you!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Obstacles and Fears

Why do we do this ministry? There have been quite a few people who have asked me that question. It has been asked by both Guatemalans and Americans and is usually stated with a look of confusion. I have been planning to answer that question in this blog for some time, but I am only now finding a chance to do so. So, here goes…

To best answer this question I want to help you step into the lives of a Guatemalan family that has a child with special needs. Maricio and Lydia are a young couple that lives in a remote village in Guatemala and they are starting out their lives together. Recently married, they don’t have much money and struggle to make ends meet. Maricio works 10 hour days on a local avocado plantation when they have work for him, but his pay is very low and work is infrequent. Lydia contributes by weaving fans that are used to start fires and selling them in the local market. Together, their income is about Q800.00 ($102.00 US) each month.

When they found out that they were expecting a baby they were both excited and scared. It was difficult enough to feed themselves, and now the task will get more difficult with another mouth to feed and another body to clothe. But, as usual, the excitement overcomes the fear and the father begins to look for other work he can do when the avocado plantation has no work for him. He begins doing odd jobs and they see their income increase to about $120.00 a month. That should help.

Their daughter, Maria, is born six weeks early, but she seems healthy. She is tiny, but begins to grow and they believe everything is fine. However, at five months her mother begins to notice that she is not developing at the same rate as her nephew who lives nearby. She is still not lifting her head well and her limbs seem to be stiff. Her tiny fists curl into a tight ball around her thumb and her feet tend to point downward.

At first both father and mother tell themselves that she is fine. Children develop at different rates, and she will soon catch up. But as more time passes their concerns increase. At her first birthday she still cannot sit on her own and is unable to crawl. So, they catch a bus to a nearby town to visit the health clinic.

The doctor examines her and tells them that she has a vitamin deficiency and writes a prescription for a special vitamin (B6 and B12). They stop at the local pharmacy and discover that the cost for the vitamin in suspension is over Q200.00 ($26.00 US). They borrow the money to buy the medicine and begin giving it to their daughter daily, praying for and expecting improvement.

At age two, they have seen no improvement and, in fact, she seems more stiff than before. Her legs and arms will no longer straighten fully and they have noticed periods in which her eyes roll back in her head and she trembles and becomes more tense. So, they take a two hour bus ride to the national hospital. After waiting four hours to see the doctor, they were finally ushered into a room where the doctor did a cursory examination and told them that they needed two tests. The total cost for the tests was Q1100.00 ($140.00 US).

Meanwhile, their extended family had continued telling them that their daughter was cursed by God and the only way to lift the curse was to let her die or abandon her.

When we met them their daughter was 2 1/2 years old and they were still giving her the vitamins while praying for the money to have the tests done. They were desperate and very much alone in their plight. Out of both money and vitamins they were hoping we could help them pay for the tests. That was a difficult conversation. I sat and explained to them that their daughter had cerebral palsy and that there was no cure. I also had to explain that the vitamins that they had been buying at great sacrifice for the last 1 1/2 years would not help at all and, while the tests would show them what areas of the brain was damaged, there was nothing that could be done to correct it. Both Maricio and Lydia cried as the truth became clear.

This wonderful little family was surrounded by obstacles. They faced a financial obstacle as they could not afford the medical care their daughter needed. They faced the obstacle of ignorance in much of the medical community that spoke of vitamin deficiencies instead of the real cause of their daughter’s illness. They faced the obstacle of indifference that caused a doctor to send them away with orders for tests that he knew they could not afford.  And then they faced the obstacle of isolation, believing that no one could or would help them in their plight, and knowing their families did not support their love and fight for their daughter.

If I could use one word to describe the lives of families in Guatemala with children who have special needs I would use the word “obstacles.” On a daily basis they are surrounded by obstacles yet have few or no resources with which to face those challenges. That is why so many children with special needs end up in institutions. Often they have loving families that have no means of caring for the children they love.

Put yourself in the place of Maricio and Lydia. Imagine it is your child that is suffering and you are desperate to find help for them. For just a moment, feel their anguish and desperation. What would you do in their place? The answer is this: Nothing. There is nothing you could do more than what they have done. There is no government program to help. There is no means of increasing your income. There is no recourse available.

That is why we do this ministry. We are here to help families tear down the obstacles that are surrounding them.

This is where the story begins to take a happier turn. While the Maricio and Lydia were still crying, we were able to comfort them. We told them that, while their was no cure for cerebral palsy, there were some ways we could help. I explained that their daughter was not cursed, but both she and they were loved by both God and us.  I showed them a picture of my daughter, Kimmie, and explained that she had CP as well. I then explained how she had blessed our lives and family.  And we then began to talk of how we could help with physical therapy and anti-seizure medicine.

But, above everything else, we told them that they are not alone. We promised that we would walk with them and face their obstacles at their side. We also told them that Jesus would walk with them if they would allow Him to do so. At this point, Lydia began to cry and told us that she and Maricio had felt so very alone for so long, but now, for the first time, she felt like there was someone with them.

Now, I have a confession to make. The names in the story I just told you are not their real names. The names are fictitious, not because the story is false, but because the story is so true of so many. I could have told the same story about a dozen different families who have faced nearly identical stories of obstacles, frustration and desperation. I could also tell you a different story of different frustrations and obstacles about another dozen families. And then I could have told you another story about another dozen families. We see the same stories repeated in different villages by different families over and over again.

And, if you were to visit us here, I could take you to numerous institutions and introduce you to child after child that has a family that loves them deeply. But desperation led his/her parents to take the only step they could to assure their child would have the best care they could find. These stories bring me to tears of both sadness and frustration.

And so, my family and I live our days surrounded by wheelchairs, formula, braces, crutches, doctors and therapists. The same is true of all those who work with our ministry, including the Beyer family, Gerardo Hernandez, April Clark and Aura Monroy. We do that because we never want these families to face these obstacles alone. We are also working hard to make Hogar de la Esperanza a safe and loving place for children with special needs who still end up in the system, and our desire is to open additional homes like this one to accommodate more children. We do all this to bring glory to Jesus Christ by caring for those whom others have written-off.

But now I have one more confession to make. Some days it is very hard to do this ministry, and today is one of those days. As I type this we are awaiting the arrival of two families from San Pedro La Laguna with children who need medical attention. They will stay with us tonight and in the morning we will take them into Hermano Pedro to see the pediatrician and receive testing. Meanwhile, the doctor just left our home after examining both Thania and Angelita and determining that both of them need to see a specialist and undergo a barrage of testing. Tomorrow morning one of our children has a hearing in Guatemala City which will occupy most of my day. And, for some reason, today I am seeing the bills and the hours involved in all of these situations instead of the children and their families.

In addition, each month we face a rapidly dwindling bank account and increasing bills. And we continue to fight a governmental system that serves as more of an obstacle than a help.

There are moments when I just feel overwhelmed and scared. (I know, not the kind of thing you want to hear from the missionary you support and pray for.) But before you write, I want you to know that I do have faith and trust God…most of the time. Most days I have a bounce in my step and most nights I sleep like a baby (actually, better than most of the children and babies in our house). But there are moments, hours and even a few days when the fear creeps in and robs my joy and my sleep. The e-mail messages from encouragers slow down and stop, the work and financial load increases, donations dwindle and the enemy shouts doubts at the top of his lungs. It’s the perfect storm, and its effects are terrifying.

That is the real reason I am writing about all the Maricios, Lydias and Marias today. I think it is really more about answering my own questions than answering yours. Some days I just need to remember why we do this ministry in order to get my bounce and peace back. Today is one of those days.

Blessings from Guatemala…

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew