In my last entry I shared two dreams that I had in the two weeks following my return from Guatemala. What I did not share was the incredible sense of brokeness I felt in the days following those dreams.In recent years I have become a very rational person. In my younger days I would often respond emotionally and, at times, be driven by my emotions. That is not the case as I have grown and matured. In fact, I am sometimes accused of being too detached when making decisions. However, as I processed these dreams and sought God for a response I was frequently overwhelmed with sorrow (and still am, though not as frequently). I could not speak of the children of Hermano Pedro or tell of my dreams without breaking down in tears. There is a collage of photos of my little friends from HP that hangs above my computer in my office and I could not look at them without weeping. On a couple of occasions, my wife came down to my office only to find me quietly sobbing with my face in my hands.
The sense of burden and pain was so intense at times that I could not function, and I struggled to understand the purpose and the appropriate response. And through it all I felt a firm conviction that I was responsible to change things. After a week of this I found myself crying out to God, "What are you doing to me?"
If you know me, you know that I am not the brightest person in the world, and at times I can miss the obvious. But eventually I had one of those cartoon lightbulb moments when it became clear to me: God was allowing me to experience a small taste of the pain He carries for our dying world. And that very tiny glimpse of His heart was overwhelming to me. For the first time I became dimly aware of how much He truly loves the world and how much He carries our sorrows and it devastated me.
During these weeks of processing I have felt myself continually being drawn back to Isaiah 58. In this chapter God communicates with His people through the prophet Isaiah and says this:
"Why have we fasted," they say, "and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?" Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.
As I read and re-read these words I could not help but think of the modern church in America. It sounds like an excellent description. Yes, we usually stop short of "striking each other with wicked fists" but not far short. Christianity in our culture is often characterized by division and quarreling and is definitely on the decline. Meanwhile, we talk frequently about the need for "revival" and spend time, energy, and money on books and seminars on church growth and effective church leadership. We look to solve the church's problems with the latest guru's formula and program while failing to realize the heart of the church is deeply and profoundly broken.
Isaiah 58 gives a very clear path to revival for the church. It is written in black and white. It is found in true fasting which is described in verses 6 - 11:
Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
What a beautiful description of revival! And what a simple and clear path is shown to that revival! In essence, God tells His people that He does not hear them or respond to them because they do not care about the things He cares about. He aches for a dying world while those who bear His name care only for themselves and their own needs. This definitely characterizes the church in the U.S.
According to recent statistics the average church in America spends its money in the following ways:
- 42% on salaries
- 20% on facilities
- 23% on internal programming and needs
- 15% on outreach*
* It should be noticed that much of this 15% is not true outreach. Many churches list programs as outreach that are really for the church body but is simply open to the community. And only 2% of the typical church's budget goes outside of the U.S.A.
In other words, the way the church in Americal spends its time and money shows a huge preoccupation with itself and its own desires. Meanwhile we have meetings and conferences and seminars to address why the church in the U.S. is declining. And the answer is found clearly spelled out in Isaiah 58.
Let me just say that I am a pastor and I have been for nearly 20 years. I love the church and believe that God can and will use the church for great things. But before that can happen we must first be broken by our sin and disregard for the things that matter to God. If we want God's presence, power, and blessings in our midst we must first make His priorites our priorities and show it in the way we live as both individual believers and churches. Then our light will break forth like the dawn, and our healing will quickly appear!
I have begun this journey back to the heart of God through personal repentance and seeking to allow Him to rearrange the priorities of my family and me. I have been a part of the problem for far too long. My desire is to now, through His grace, be a part of the solution. Please join me.
Much more to come on this journey...
