Dangerous Prayers

I have been thinking a lot about the prayers we pray and how dangerous they can be. I want to take a few moments to pour out my heart about those dangerous prayers, but first I want to tell you a few stories about our lives and ministry that have occurred recently and apply to those prayers.

Story 1:

About 6 weeks ago I was contacted by my friend, Dick Rutgers, regarding a child with whom he had been working. He found little Kevin some months before, lying in his home alone and covered with urine. He was horribly malnourished and suffering from cerebral palsy. Immediately, Dick found sponsorship for him, and we began providing him with formula.

But he did not improve. We questioned if his family was feeding Kevin the formula or if they might be selling it for money. The answer was unclear, but it was clear that he was getting worse, not better. Dick called me because he had, once again, found him alone in the house and soaked in urine. He was also sick with fever and a respiratory illness, later diagnosed as pneumonia. His mother had agreed to take him somewhere for treatment.

As I heard more about his illness and the severity of his malnutrition, it became clear that he would die soon if he did not get out of his house. We had wanted to welcome him into our home, but we were full. Yet, when Dick called me this time, I asked him to give me a few minutes to talk with my wife. I spoke with Wanda, and we agreed that we would find a way to fit him into our family, even though we did not know how it would work. We had no more room to put a bed. Our staff and interns are stretched thin. And our finances are thinner still. But we prayed and said yes.

It was decided that Dick would find a hospital that could admit him and treat his respiratory illness while he worked with the mom to get him placed in our home through the courts. Dick spent days driving, waiting, and talking with courts, social workers, and the judge. Due to his heroic efforts, they finally got the necessary court order and he came to our home.

It has been around five weeks now. Kevin has gained around five pounds. His face has a pleasant roundness to it, and baggy skin has been filled in with fat. The little guy that would not smile when he arrived now gives a beaming smile to those around him, and even laughs. His high tone spasms have lessened by around 60% and he can sit upright with support comfortably.

In order to make room for him, we moved little David out of the boy’s room. He does not sleep well many nights, so we now put him to bed in the playroom in a crib that allows our night nanny to respond to his needs without waking the others. God is providing financially one day at a time. And, thus far, this story is a happy one.

Story 2:

Last week I was awakened from a deep sleep by a phone call. I stumbled to the phone and mumbled a bleary “Buenos noches.” It was a social worker from the local PGN asking us to take an emergency placement. I was able to wake up enough to activate my Spanish, and the details unfolded. A little boy...severe special needs...severe malnutrition...abuse and neglect...very sick and weak...may not survive. “Can you please take him? He will die in any other home.”

My heart sank. No more room. No more staff. We can’t say yes. So, I gave told them that I was sorry but we had no more beds and no more places to put a bed. They would have to find another home for him.

I hung up and went back to sleep...two hours later. It is hard to sleep after calls like that.

The end of this story is unknown. I likely will not know until eternity, and I fear to learn it.

Story 3:

We have been dealing with numerous malnutrition cases in our rural village ministry. In two cases, the children have recently gotten sick due to their weakness and compromised immune systems. In both cases, the illnesses were serious and resulted in hospitalization.

In these cases, we work hard to monitor the children as closely as possible. In one case, we arranged for the child to be seen by one of our nurses weekly to monitor his health. But a malnourished child can move from stable to sick and from sick to critical in 24-36 hours. We just cannot monitor them closely enough.

At the same time, the choice to place the child in a malnutrition center has its own drawbacks. If you can find space available in one, the family is usually limited in their ability to visit the child. In some cases, they are only allowed to see their son or daughter for a couple of hours once a week. This makes is difficult on both the child and their parents.

So, what can we do? One of our staff offered a creative idea. We should rent a house in our town and open it up to children who are malnourished. They can live in the home with their mom and a director and receive daily check-ups and supervision. The moms would be in charge of their care under medical supervision. Our doctors and specialists would be close by and readily available when needed. Such a great idea.

But it has costs. There is the money (about $3500 of start-up costs and about $1500 a month in operations, based upon 4 mothers with their children). And there is the manpower issues. But it would have the potential of saving many lives.

Again, the end of this story is unknown. We need God’s wisdom to know if we should proceed.

What do these stories have to do with dangerous prayers? The answer to that question is found in Wanda’s and my journey.

Back in 2004, I began to pray my first truly dangerous prayer. It was simple. “Lord, break my heart for the things that break yours.”

This prayer sounds noble, even romantic. You picture yourself being sensitive to and responding to the things that make God sad. But that is a shallow understanding of the prayer. And it is ignorance regarding what it truly means to have a broken heart.

The result of that prayer was I found myself being exposed directly to human suffering that had previously been limited to news stories or distant anecdotes told by missionaries. I was not prepared for the reality of the world, and my heart broke. It shattered. I was not prepared for the dreams or the tears. I would experience weeks where I could barely function because of the grief. I was broken.

And, in the midst of that time, God gave me a shocking realization. The grief that I was experiencing was just one drop of the ocean of grief that my Jesus carries. Every orphan without a home...every starving child...every grieving mother and father...every abuse and injustice...my God sees it, knows their pain, and feels it in His being. “Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows...”

So, at 4:30 in the morning after a particularly painful dream of a dying little girl, I cried out to God with my second dangerous prayer. “Okay! I understand! The world is broken and suffering! I get it! I can’t take anymore! I will do anything you ask me to do, JUST HELP ME MAKE A DIFFERENCE!”

Just help me make a difference.

If I knew then what that prayer would mean, I am not sure I would have found the courage to pray it. This simple prayer that I began to pray many times a day would completely wreck my life, and then rebuild it.

I did not recognize the cost of making a difference. To stay where I was then would have been easy. No uprooting my family. No trying to speak a different language or learn to relate to an entirely different culture. And no excruciating decisions. I did not realize that, in order to make a difference, I would have to put myself in a situation filled with choices that really mattered. Overwhelming decisions. Scary decisions. Crucial decisions.

I did not realize that, in order to save some children, I would have to hold other children while they died. I did not realize that it would mean nine instances of performing CPR in five years, and losing seven of them. I did not realize that making a difference would mean treating maggot filled bedsores or holding a teenager while he cried out in excruciating pain.

And I certainly did not know that making a difference would mean deciding to let some people die. I did not know that opening a home would mean saying no to so many dying children. (I have stopped counting how many because the pain was too great.) I did not know that I would be faced with decisions of whether a good ministry that can save so many is the right decision.

But that is exactly where I live and exactly what I do.

One of my favorite books is “The Insanity of God” by Nik Ripken. I am reading it for the third time as I write this. It resonates with me, because the author gets it. He understand. He writes the following:

“I was often forced to choose which villages we would go to, and where we couldn’t go because of limited staff and resources. Many of my daily decisions determined who lived and who died. These decisions were weighty and terrifying. It was an overwhelming responsibility.”

Those two prayers have led me to where I am today. It has also led my wife and children to the same place. My children have watched children die repeatedly and then wept at their graveside. Those prayers have assured that my children will never be safe or comfortable or callous to the suffering of the world. Our teenagers and young adults have experienced suffering in a way that few people ever will.

I had no idea at the time, but those two prayers are two of the most dangerous prayers we could ever utter.

So, living where I live and doing what I do, am I glad that I prayed them? The short answer is, “Yes.” The longer answer is, “Yes, most of the time.”

I won’t lie. There have been times in which I have regretted it. I regretted it as I held Thania’s lifeless hand in an emergency room after a frantic fight to save her. I regretted it the next morning as the morgue handed me her corpse wrapped in a garbage bag. I regretted it when little Maggie died on Christmas Eve after a 35 minute battle to save her life. There have been brief moments when, given the chance, I would have turned back the clock and stopped myself from praying them.

But 99.9% of my life is filled with a quiet thankfulness that I prayed those prayers. Even with the life-and-death decisions. Even with the grief. Even with the overwhelming need that surrounds us. I am glad that I prayed those very dangerous prayers. Because, at the end of the day, I really do want to be broken by the things that break God’s heart. And I really do want to make a difference. I want my life and my family to matter, not just for this life, but for eternity. 

And for that purpose, I will leave behind comfort and easy decisions for the things that really matter. I will do it imperfectly and will regularly fall short. But I will do it with an incredible wife and children around me.

Will you? I hope so. Pray dangerously!

Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda, and the Crew

Why?

Why?

That little three-letter utterance is one of the most powerful words in the English language. Within it lies the cause that affects. Therefore, it contains the first step toward real solutions.

I have been asking that question a lot recently. I live surrounded by brokenness, suffering, and injustice, and I desperately long to address the systematic issues that cause them. So, I find myself asking it repeatedly. Why?

It is easy to jump to quick conclusions and nice packaged answers. I find myself doing that at times. Why does suffering exist that could be prevented? Pre-packaged answer: Because people don’t care! But is that really true?

Most people I know do care. They care about orphans and will cry readily at their plight. They care about the unborn and are vocal about their opposition to abortion. They care about the poor and will send a check to help. They care about the displaced and pray daily for the refugees.

Most of us care, to one degree or another. The cause of injustice is not an absence of care, but the level of it. We care. We just don’t care enough. We care enough to do something, but we don’t care enough to sacrifice. So, we only scratch the surface of the need.

This has always been a problem with the world-at-large. However, over the last century it has become a significant issue within the church. The Kingdom built on sacrifice has opened itself to the American Dream of comfort and prosperity and confused it with the Gospel and discipleship. As a result, our picture of the church has been blurred, distorted, and stained. And so has our vision of a godly man, woman and family.

We expect and demand more for ourselves. As a result, we have less to give. We care, but we don’t care more for others than we do for ourselves. And real sacrifice has become rare.

Why are their so many children without families? Because we don’t care more about their fates than we do for ourselves. There are way more than enough Christian families out there that have room for another child or two. Every child could have a family. But that might be messy. We can’t foster or adopt. We might expose ourselves and our children to icky stuff. We care, but not enough to act. So nearly 150,000,000 children will go to sleep tonight without a mom or dad to tuck them into bed. We care, just not enough.

Why will so many children suffer and die alone? Because we care, but not enough to expose ourselves to grief and pain. “It would kill me to love a child and see them die!” Our Jesus “took up our grief and carried our sorrows,” but we think He would not want us to do the same for others. So thousands of children will die alone today without ever knowing loving arms around them. We care, just not enough.

Why will so many babies die in their mother’s womb today? Because we hate abortion, but not enough to move beyond political activism. We don’t care enough to intentionally leave behind comfort to form relationships with struggling young ladies. We don’t care enough to love them before the pregnancy so that we can walk with them during the pregnancy. We don’t care enough to make family-wide sacrifices so that we can help support a pregnant girl and, soon, a young mother so that she feels that life is an option. We care, just not enough.

Why will so many displaced people have no safe place to sleep tonight? We care about refugees, and will even share that support online, but will not translate that concern into action that provides answers. We want them to be safe, but not enough to risk our own safety to make it a reality. We won’t risk the hostility of others who don’t care or agree in order to sponsor a family and help them find belonging and hope in a new land. We care, just not enough.

Why will so many die today apart from a knowledge of Jesus? Because we care about the lost, but not enough to go. That is for others to do. God wouldn’t want us to uproot our family. He wouldn’t want us to put our children at risk. The God who gave His only Son so that we might have life would never want our children to sacrifice for His Kingdom. Would He? We care, just not enough.

Millions live without hope today, not because no one cares, but because not enough people care enough. And that is the overwhelming cause that affects our world.

On a regular basis we have people visit our homes and ministry. They will hold our kids, hear their stories, visit families in rural villages, learn about the children we have lost, and they will cry. They will be broken by the plight of those with disabilities. They will be moved by the work we do. And they will shed tears and leave. And quickly their normal lives resume and nothing changes. After a few touching posts on Facebook or Twitter, they return to complaints about the weather, irritations with customer surface, or the same tired political arguments. Nothing changes.

I have come to understand how worthless tears are, unless we quickly wipe our tears and get to work. Caring is useless unless it drives us to action that produces change.

Every day I face a battle, and that battle is with myself. Will I care more about myself or about others? It is not just a daily battle, it is a moment by moment battle. Will I put my own comfort, safety, resources, and emotions first, or will I be a servant?

All too often, I fail this test. When I am done posting this, I will stand up from my desk and make decisions that will affect others. What will I choose? And what will be the effects of those choices?

The Gospel is powerful, and the world is watching. For far too long, we have spoken of the love and sacrifice of Jesus without living it. And the results of this have been devastating. The world sees the church as irrelevant and uncaring because we have not cared enough to act in relevant ways. But it is not too late. And there is no better time to start than right now.

What breaks your heart? It is time to care enough to act.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

1 John 3:18 NIV

Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda, and the Crew

Elections and Kingdoms

Today is election day. The midterm elections are happening as I type, after weeks of acrimony and turmoil. In about 14 hours it will all be over, thankfully. Then we can begin treating each other badly in anticipation of the 2020 election.

Every election cycle, I see the words repeated. They are spoken, typed on Facebook, and broadcast on Twitter. It has become a part of Christian culture, like the words “amen” and “after-church potluck.”

"It’s our Christian responsibility.”

“This election is crucial. It’s our Christian responsibility to vote.”

“The future of our nation is at stake. It is our Christian responsibility to be politically engaged.”

“The fate of the church is at stake. It is our Christian responsibility to elect leaders who will defend it.”

But is it really our “Christian responsibility?” Or is that simply a product of cultural Christianity instead of biblical discipleship? (And with those two questions, I have just touched the third rail of US evangelicalism. To question that core belief can get you excommunicated from some churches and cause many to call into question your very salvation. I know, because I would have been outraged by those questions not that long ago.)

But can we lay aside what we have always been told for just a moment to ask the questions? What can it hurt to check make sure that what we believe and live is actually true to the Word of God?

So, allow me a moment to give you the following arguments again a Christ-follower’s political involvement:

1) There is no Scriptural basis for it. 

Jesus stepped onto a first century scene that was a political incubator. The Jewish nation was living under an oppressive Roman government that had stripped them of their rights and was taxing them into poverty. They were no longer allowed to practice some of the Torah commanded practices, and the people wanted political change.

In fact, as they anticipated the coming Messiah, they were looking for a political one. They believed the Messiah would enter Jerusalem, establish an earthly rule, and place Israel at the top of the pecking order. Over time, many who had heard Jesus’ teaching and had seen his miracles believe that He was that Messiah, which explains their jubilation when He entered the city of Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. They believed He was getting ready to establish the new kingdom. And He was. But it was not the kingdom they expected. So, when He died five days later, most of His followers walked away. 

We know now that Jesus did not come to be a political savior and establish an earthly kingdom. He came to establish a spiritual and Eternal Kingdom. And He had told them that repeatedly through His teaching. But they were so blinded by their own opinions of what they needed that they could not see what they really needed.

Twice we see religious leaders asking Jesus politically charged questions. But maybe you missed those:

1) Should we pay taxes to Caesar? There was a political movement afoot in which some Jews wanted to arise and refuse to pay taxes to the Roman government. After all, they were corrupt, wicked, and using the funds to oppress the people paying them. They wanted that movement to gain enough critical mass so that the people would rise up as one and refuse to pay. The endorsement of this popular teacher would go a long way in achieving that critical mass.

But notice Jesus’ response: “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s. Give to God what is God’s.” In essence, He told them to give to the temporary government the temporary things it asks for. But give to God the eternal things that really matter. They wanted political answers, but He used the opportunity to turn the question around to address the spiritual issue that would really make a difference.

2) Should we stone this woman? - You have heard it countless times. The story of the woman caught in adultery, dragged into public with angry men holding stones. And they ask Jesus the question. 

The question was not a spiritual one. It was a political one. The Roman government had stripped the Jews of the right to dispense capital punishment, and they were angry. Again, they were seeking an uprising to overthrow Roman rule. They wanted political solutions. Plus this question would give them opportunity to accuse Jesus, no matter His response. 

And, again, Jesus took the political and turned it to the spiritual. “Let any of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” And suddenly those men were not looking a Roman law or the sins of the lady, but were instead examining their own hearts. 

Jesus, and the first century church that He established, had a disregard for the politics of their day. Believers were arrested, imprisoned, beaten, and put to death for their faith, but you do not see them complaining about the oppressive government that did it. You do not see them seeking to change earthly rulers or kingdoms. You instead see them obsessively seeking to bring glory to Jesus under whatever rule they found themselves. They understood that the endorsement and protection of the government was not important, because God was in control. Their only concerns were making disciples and honoring God with their lives, regardless of who ruled the earthly kingdom in which they lived. Why should it be different for us today?

2) We do not know what is best.

Each election cycle I hear it spoken: “We need to elect godly leaders!” And we advocate, endorse, and defend the ones we believe fits that description. And, if they appear to be losing or lose, we panic and wail. And if they appear to be winning, we rejoice (and often gloat). But here is the problem: We actually have no idea what God wants.

The Bible makes it clear that God raised up and tears down leaders at will. They wither and fade under His breath. And they rise to power just because He thinks it. 

We also know that, at times, He raises up good and noble leaders. He also, at other times, raises up wicked and corrupt leaders. Both serve His purposes and accomplish His will. And both will quickly fade when that purpose is complete.

So, how do we know who God wants in power? Many times, we have actually fought against the will of God and have done so with passion. How do I know? Because “our guy or girl” lost.

That is why the only clear instructions we as the church have regarding earthly leaders it to 1) honor them and 2) pray for them. We are not instructed to celebrate their rise or their fall. And we are not instructed to endorse or attack them. We honor them, we pray for them, and we do the important work that this world’s rulers cannot do.

3) It is not our kingdom.

At the moment of our transformation through faith in Christ, we become citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven. We suddenly find ourselves living as foreigners and strangers in a temporary and fallen land, while our citizenship is in an eternal and infallible Land. And we are ambassadors of the Kingdom. And that new Kingdom should have our loyalty and allegiance. And our focus should become expanding that Kingdom.

We, as followers of Jesus, should be consumed and obsessed with His Kingdom. Our mission is to make disciples for that Kingdom. Our hearts are to long desperately to see that Kingdom come. And we know that we cannot serve two masters.

And so, while we may have gratitude for the earthly nation in which we live and the benefits of that residency, we know the true Kingdom for which we live, fight and die. And it is a Kingdom that is built on love, mercy, grace, service, and sacrifice. We fight in an entirely different way using entirely different weapons. And it directly conflicts with the way earthly and political battles are fought.

We know that every earthly kingdom and nation is destined to fall. It will happen, sooner or later. So we focus on building the only Kingdom that will last. And we certainly should not engage in any earthly battle, political or otherwise, that will cause us to compromise the love, mercy, grace, service, and sacrifice of our true Home.

4) Politics are a symptom, not a cure.

I often hear believers discussing politics and the need to change the government. This has become a focus of the evangelical church over the last four decades, beginning with the Moral Majority of the late 70’s. The idea is that if we want a godly nation we need to elect godly leaders. And the idea is completely false and equivalent to trying to make the tail wag the dog.

In a democratic republic such as the United States, the politics of the nation are simply a reflection of the hearts of the people. Fallen and unredeemed people elect godless and corrupt leaders. And, as the church has focused more and more on political solutions and less and less on disciple making, we have seen the nation decline, along with the quality of our leaders. Increasingly we find ourselves holding our nose while we vote because the quality of the candidates of both parties have declined horribly. We tolerate words and actions from our leaders (and even defend them) that would have been absolutely intolerable 30 years ago. Yet the church continues to insist on political solutions and engagements even as it makes itself increasingly inefficient at reaching people for Jesus.

The only hope for our nation is Jesus Christ. And not Jesus Christ dictated from congress or the White House, but Jesus alive in us and our neighbors. And the only way for that to happen is for you and me to focus on making disciples by loving and reaching to people of all walks of life and background, regardless of their lifestyle, choices, or political opinions. And, in order to do that, we have to tone down our politics and turn up our Jesus.

5) It is robbing us of our love.

Recently I sent private messages to 10 of my friends who are unbelievers. I chose them because I believe them to be rational people with genuine skepticism about God, the Bible, and/or Jesus. And they are all people with whom I can have authentic conversations without hostility. I asked them, “What do you think of when you hear the word ‘church’?" Every one of their answers related to politics. Every one.

Not one of them answered loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, or self controlled. Several of them did use words such as “angry”or “harsh.” Two mentioned political double standards. Three mentioned that they would never be welcome in the typical evangelical church because of their politics. Two mentioned being recently attacked by professing Christians on Facebook because of their political opinions.

On a regular basis, I see professing believers attacking non believers on social media. Sometimes it is directly, sometimes indirectly. If a politician, athlete, musician, or actor expresses an opinion we don’t like, we feel free to demand a boycott and delight if their careers suffer. We see them as enemies and we go after them. Which is a direct contradiction of the commands to love, forgive, reach, and make disciples. And it is destroying our ability to build the one eternal Kingdom. It is destroying our ability to love.

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So, there you have it. My arguments for why a Christ-follower should not be politically involved. Am I saying that a Christian should not vote? No. As long as you can do so with love, humility, a spirit-led conviction, and without alienating the ones you are called to reach. 

But I will say this…if the church, as a whole, continues to engage in politics the way we have in recent decades, the nation will continue its decline. And we will one day answer to God. And I believe we will not be happy with His response.

Okay, I have dug my grave deep enough. More importantly than whether you vote today, I pray that you will love God, love your neighbors, love you enemies, and make disciples.

Blessings!

Daryl, Wanda, and the Crew

When Enough Is Not Enough

Wanda and I have been sensing the move of God in our lives. It is hard to describe, but I will do my best.

It is a subtle ache in our souls that we are missing something. It is an awareness that there is more that we need to do and be. It is a stirred dissatisfaction that seems to be calling us forward to something much bigger than us. It is the deep-seated knowledge that our “enough” is not enough.

We are regularly told by others how wonderful this ministry is. People are “amazed” and “moved to tears” by what we do. They speak of our “sacrifice” and love for the children of Guatemala. And they regularly encourage us not to “stretch ourselves too thin.”

But, through our life together, we have learned not to listen much to the words of people. Even those with the best intent often do not reflect the opinion of God. Our supreme desire is to hear God’s voice, because His is the only one that matters. And we are hearing Him speak strongly now, though His end goal is still not clear.

You see, while many see our lives and ministry as a great sacrifice, we do not. In fact, it is our comfort zone. No, it is not easy. Yes, it is heart-breaking. Yes, it can be exhausting. But it is not a sacrifice. In fact, everything I sought for my entire life I have found in this life. No real sacrifices have been made. And we are very comfortable sticking with it forever. While many people would consider this ministry way outside their comfort zone, it is where we have found our hearts’ desires. 

Meanwhile, even though we recognize the great needs of children in Guatemala, especially those with special needs, we also realize that there are children with special needs and those that have been orphaned in other parts of the world whose plights are far more desperate. Yemen, Somalia, Northern Uganda, Syria, and many more countries are facing desperate humanitarian crises that are taking lives by the thousands in places where the Gospel is unknown. And, in many of these places, missions groups have withdrawn out of concern for the safety of their missionaries.

Yet I know that Jesus is there in the form of the least of these. He is the little girl whose family was killed by the bombing of their apartment building in Yemen. He is the little boy who was maimed and disabled by a mortar in Syria. He is the teenage girl who is selling herself to soldiers to survive the drought in Somalia. Jesus is there in the form of the least of these.

Meanwhile, the church is, in large part, running away. Mission boards have withdrawn workers. Ministries have ceased. And, in many cases, the people have been abandoned and left alone with their hopelessness. And Wanda and I are not okay with that. God won’t allow us to be.

Two nights ago, we sat and talked and prayed together. We spoke of how difficult it is to get people to come to Guatemala long-term to ministry, even though it is one of the easier mission fields in the world. Yes, there is suffering and crime and violence, but it is not a war zone. And it is, in large part, friendly toward missionaries. If we are struggling to find workers for this field, how many are willing to go to the truly hard fields of ministry? How few will be willing to walk into a war zone to save lives?

And, at the heart of it all was this question: If not us, then who?

I am not announcing that we are moving our family away from Guatemala to Yemen, Somalia, or Syria. I don’t think God is asking that right now. But if He does, we will. Yet I know that God is calling us to do something, and to do it soon. Because our enough is not enough.

I don’t think I am a brave person. But I do believe in heaven. Therefore, I know that the day I die will be the best day of my life. And I believe that God is sovereign. Therefore, until the moment Jesus calls me home, I am invincible. I need not fear, and I can go where others fear to tread with boldness and confidence. That might be up the side of an erupting volcano or into a war-torn country. So, I will go, without regards to safety and security. And my wife is of the same heart and mind, as are my children.

So, we are seeking God and asking Him what He wants us to do. Every time He has stirred our hearts like this, it has yielded incredible results. So, we anxiously await God to reveal our next step. But I expect I will soon find myself on a plane that will carry me far outside my comfort zone to a place that is far from safe. And that is good.

Because our enough is not enough.

Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Note: The photos from this post are not my. I came across them as I was researching need in Yemen, Somalia, and Syria. 

Also note that if there are any of you who might be feeling a similar call in regards to these regions, you can contact me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.

When My World Changed

The first time I held a starving child, my life changed. But, even as I type these words, I know the fruitlessness of trying to explain this to you. For many years, others tried to explain these truths to me, but I dismissed them. In my mind, they just didn’t understand the real world. I attached the labels to them that I kept readily on hand, and moved on. And yet, here I am, trying to share the same heartbeat that others tried to share with me.

It was February of 2009. I had made two previous trips to Guatemala with Wanda as we were adopting our son, Jonathan. And, during those trips, we had brushed up again the needs of this country. But this trip was different. I was leading a ministry trip under the newly formed Hope for Home Ministries, and we were spending nine days immersed in the needs of children with special needs. Much of our time was spent at Hermano Pedro, a hospital/home for children and adults with cerebral palsy. We held the children, read to them, and took them out to eat. And, on one of our days there, I met a man named Dick Rutgers.

Dick’s love and playfulness with the children touched me from the first moment. Despite a huge lack of Spanish, he communicated volumes with each person. He helped us check children out to go to lunch, and he taught me how to truly connect with those we served. And then he invited us to join him for a trip to a rural village. We readily agreed.

So the next day we found ourselves crowded into his Land Cruiser with him and two of his boys. We visited several communities, but one stands out strongly in my mind. We pulled into a village that was located in the midst of a clump of trees as the rain fell. It was a gathering of 10 or 12 shacks with hand-dug wells filled with ground water. We were approaching one of the homes when I first saw him, lying in a hand-woven hammock strung between two supports for the roof that extended past the front of the home.

I had never seen a child so skinny. Wide eyes stared at me over jutting cheekbones. His arms and legs were thin reeds and were twisted from cerebral palsy. As I stood looking down at him, I wondered how he could still be alive. But Dick walked over and scooped him up into his arms, and he smiled a radiant smile. I could not speak.

Dick spoke with his parents for a while, using his boys as translators. I learned that he was 12 years old and weighed 18 pounds. And then...Dick turned and handed him to me.

And my life changed. In that moment, as I held his feather-light body in my arms, I knew I would never be the same.

Under the pretext of talking him on a short walk, I took him a short distance away and stood under a tree. In reality, I just did not want his family to see me cry. And I did not want anyone to hear the words that I would say to him:

“I am so sorry. Until right now, I have not cared about you or so many others like you. I was so ignorant and blind. Please forgive me!”

He could not speak or understand a word I was saying. He just smiled at me as my tears flowed. And then I spoke to my Jesus:

“Please forgive me! I have been so blind! So stupid! I am so sorry! I vow to you, Lord, that I will do something! I will care about the things that you care about and I will do something!”

Most of you know the rest of the story. Four months later, on another ministry trip to Guatemala, Wanda and I resolved to move here. We sold everything and landed as a family in this country on January 25, 2011. And, to the best of my ability, I have sought to honor that vow to my Jesus.

Since that time, I have lost count of the number of starving children I have held. I can tell you that it is far too many, though. I have sat with grieving families in their poverty and seen the desperation in their eyes. I have spoken the truth of God’s Word and His great love to so many families who had long believed that God had forgotten them. I have helped dig graves and carried the caskets of their children. I have wept with them, prayed with them, and sat silently with them. And I have only scratched the surface.

I live in a country that has the sixth highest malnutrition rate in the world. Around 47% of Guatemala’s children experience malnutrition to such a high degree that it stunts their growth and development. In some parts of the country, that number tops 90%. And our current drought is making it far worse. Already this year we have seen a 79% increase in deaths from malnutrition over last year. This year, 256,000 Guatemalan families have lost their crops due to a lack of rain. More deaths are coming. Lots more.

Combine that with a lack of decent healthcare and access to medicine, and I am surrounded by need. We are working as long and as hard as we can, but it is still getting worse, and more and more are dying.

And here is where I try to explain to you how that has changed me. I will pour my heart out, and most of you will shake your heads and dismiss me. Some will even label me with a derogatory title before moving on because my observations don’t fit with your worldview or politics. I understand. I truly do. And I don’t blame you, because I did the same for the first 41 years of my life. But I have to try and hope that maybe a few will hear and look past their knee jerk reaction and see my heart. So, here goes...

There is very, very little that matters in this life. Far less than most of us realize. When you strip away all but the things that are truly important, you are left with a small handful on which we need to focus. Everything else is just straw men that have been set up to distract us or sell to us. And the problem is, the church, myself included, has followed the distractions for far too long.

So, what is really important? Here is my list that is radically different than it was nine years ago:

1. To love God with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength - I know. That’s obvious, right? But is it really? Because I am not sure we are really doing it at all. It seems to me that God stands in line behind a lot of the things we adore. He fits in somewhere behind our family, our security, our politics and our pursuit of comfort. Which means He does not fit in at all, because He cannot be placed in our boxes. Love is just a word until it is lived, so to love God will be displayed in the way our lives reflect the things that are important to Him. That is what the first century church did well, and what we can’t seem to do today. But if we find a way to do so, we will see first century results. In a world that is so turbulent and hate-filled, we desperately need to fix our eyes on Him and love Him with everything we’ve got.
2. To love our neighbors as we love ourselves - Again, read my last point. Love is just a word until it is lived. So, love for neighbors is not just words or token sentiment, it is love in action. And, remember how Jesus defined our neighbors? Anyone, regardless of location, nationality or tradition that needs us. (The story of the Good Samaritan was painful and offensive to the devout Jews of Jesus’ day. And it should create a great amount of discomfort in us, as well.) For those of us who follow Jesus, the world is our neighborhood, and every skin color, language and nationality is our neighbor. And we have a lot of neighbors who are broken, bleeding and starving on the side of the road. It is time for love to become more than a word we speak.
3. To care for the poor, oppressed, orphaned and widowed - I grew up in a couple of churches and an elementary school where they used to scoff at the “social gospel.” For those who don’t know, that phrase has been used in a derogatory manner by some branches of fundamentalism. The gist of their argument is that we should be concerned with preaching the Gospel to save eternal souls instead of involved with temporal tasks such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and giving shelter to those without a home. To this day, I don’t understand how people who were so insistent on telling others that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God could forsake such a central teaching within it. Are their extremes? Of course. But both the Old and New Testaments teach the importance of caring for those who are oppressed and in physical need. In fact, numerous times we see the primary symptoms of true faith listed as caring for orphans, widows, foreigners and the poor. Jesus, in fact, told us that when we care for the hungry, thirsty, naked, sick, imprisoned, and shut in, we are caring for Him. But the same people who insisted that the Bible is true and should be followed instructed us to forsake those commands. Of course we are to teach the truth of the Gospel, but it must go hand in hand with caring for the least of these. I am ashamed that I lived so long without learning and living this truth. But now that I have, trust me when I tell you that the tangible presence and power of God that the church is seeking will be found in the midst of them.
4. To run toward pain and darkness - I remember watching the coverage of the 9/11 attacks. I had tears in my eyes and a deep sense of respect for the first responders who ran toward the danger to save others. And many men and women gave their lives that day doing so. But that is a beautiful picture of what God created the church to do. When others are running away, we should be running into the pain, suffering and darkness. How else can we truly be the light of the world? We have been trained to a cultural faith that tells us to spare ourselves and our families. It’s not good for our children to be exposed to suffering, death and darkness. We have to guard our sensitive hearts. Over and over I am told by people that they could never (fill in the blank) because it would be too painful. Have we ever considered that it hurts us so badly because God has broken our heart for it as a part of His calling? It is time for the church to move beyond words and run toward the brokenness. 
5. There is only one hope - This is one of those points that everyone agrees with...until you discuss the specifics. Do we really believe that Jesus is the only real hope for the world? Then everything else should take a back seat to the mission of showing and proclaiming Him. And anything that interferes with that mission should be discarded. The church has been pulled into false hopes (gods?) to which we are giving our time, money and energy. We insist it is not true, but it is. Politics is one of the biggest false hopes (gods?), but it is not the only one. For much of my adult life, I spoke the words that Jesus was the only hope for our nation and world, but my life reflected something very different as I foolishly pursued other false hopes. With God’s help, no more. I have sat in mud floor houses, spoke of the true Jesus and seen hope rise on families. I have spoken of Jesus’ great love to the grieving mother and seen her eyes come back to life. I have held the hand of dying children and told them of our Savior’s sacrifice and the life that awaits them, and saw them smile. Jesus is our only hope. Let’s stop pretending and living as if He is not.
6. There is not much time - No, I don’t know when Jesus will return. That is not what I am talking about. I am simply stating that for millions of people in this world, time is running out. Many people will not see another sunrise before they step into eternity. Children and adults will die who could be saved by what is in your medicine chest or kitchen cabinets. In the next 24 hours almost 99,000 people will die of starvation alone. And many will enter a Christ-less eternity. And, for too many years, I knew that truth in my head but denied it with my lifestyle. No more. I am not saying that you need to move your family to a foreign country to work with the poor (although you better not assume that you shouldn’t without honestly checking with God). What I am saying is that all Christ-followers should examine and adapt their lifestyles to live with that awareness and make a difference. And every church should do the same regarding its priorities and ministries. For many, time is running out. And for every day we wait to change and act, more will be lost.

That’s it. Lots of folks stopped reading a while ago and moved on to other things, so if you are still reading at this point, I am grateful for your time.

I don’t want this to be a guilt trip. That serves no purpose and quickly fades. I can only pray that at least a handful will be shaken and awakened by my feeble attempt. And for the others, I pray that they one day soon will hold a starving child so that my words will become more than just words.

Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew