When Enough Is Not Enough

Wanda and I have been sensing the move of God in our lives. It is hard to describe, but I will do my best.

It is a subtle ache in our souls that we are missing something. It is an awareness that there is more that we need to do and be. It is a stirred dissatisfaction that seems to be calling us forward to something much bigger than us. It is the deep-seated knowledge that our “enough” is not enough.

We are regularly told by others how wonderful this ministry is. People are “amazed” and “moved to tears” by what we do. They speak of our “sacrifice” and love for the children of Guatemala. And they regularly encourage us not to “stretch ourselves too thin.”

But, through our life together, we have learned not to listen much to the words of people. Even those with the best intent often do not reflect the opinion of God. Our supreme desire is to hear God’s voice, because His is the only one that matters. And we are hearing Him speak strongly now, though His end goal is still not clear.

You see, while many see our lives and ministry as a great sacrifice, we do not. In fact, it is our comfort zone. No, it is not easy. Yes, it is heart-breaking. Yes, it can be exhausting. But it is not a sacrifice. In fact, everything I sought for my entire life I have found in this life. No real sacrifices have been made. And we are very comfortable sticking with it forever. While many people would consider this ministry way outside their comfort zone, it is where we have found our hearts’ desires. 

Meanwhile, even though we recognize the great needs of children in Guatemala, especially those with special needs, we also realize that there are children with special needs and those that have been orphaned in other parts of the world whose plights are far more desperate. Yemen, Somalia, Northern Uganda, Syria, and many more countries are facing desperate humanitarian crises that are taking lives by the thousands in places where the Gospel is unknown. And, in many of these places, missions groups have withdrawn out of concern for the safety of their missionaries.

Yet I know that Jesus is there in the form of the least of these. He is the little girl whose family was killed by the bombing of their apartment building in Yemen. He is the little boy who was maimed and disabled by a mortar in Syria. He is the teenage girl who is selling herself to soldiers to survive the drought in Somalia. Jesus is there in the form of the least of these.

Meanwhile, the church is, in large part, running away. Mission boards have withdrawn workers. Ministries have ceased. And, in many cases, the people have been abandoned and left alone with their hopelessness. And Wanda and I are not okay with that. God won’t allow us to be.

Two nights ago, we sat and talked and prayed together. We spoke of how difficult it is to get people to come to Guatemala long-term to ministry, even though it is one of the easier mission fields in the world. Yes, there is suffering and crime and violence, but it is not a war zone. And it is, in large part, friendly toward missionaries. If we are struggling to find workers for this field, how many are willing to go to the truly hard fields of ministry? How few will be willing to walk into a war zone to save lives?

And, at the heart of it all was this question: If not us, then who?

I am not announcing that we are moving our family away from Guatemala to Yemen, Somalia, or Syria. I don’t think God is asking that right now. But if He does, we will. Yet I know that God is calling us to do something, and to do it soon. Because our enough is not enough.

I don’t think I am a brave person. But I do believe in heaven. Therefore, I know that the day I die will be the best day of my life. And I believe that God is sovereign. Therefore, until the moment Jesus calls me home, I am invincible. I need not fear, and I can go where others fear to tread with boldness and confidence. That might be up the side of an erupting volcano or into a war-torn country. So, I will go, without regards to safety and security. And my wife is of the same heart and mind, as are my children.

So, we are seeking God and asking Him what He wants us to do. Every time He has stirred our hearts like this, it has yielded incredible results. So, we anxiously await God to reveal our next step. But I expect I will soon find myself on a plane that will carry me far outside my comfort zone to a place that is far from safe. And that is good.

Because our enough is not enough.

Blessings from Guatemala!

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Note: The photos from this post are not my. I came across them as I was researching need in Yemen, Somalia, and Syria. 

Also note that if there are any of you who might be feeling a similar call in regards to these regions, you can contact me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.