Another Message from the Front

I want to use this blog entry to introduce you to a remarkable lady named Katie Davis. She is a young lady who dropped out of college at age 19, moved to Uganda, took in 13 little girls, and started a wonderful organization called Amazima Ministries International. I am copying and pasting one of her recent blog entries to help you understand the needs and challenges faced by children around the world and the call by Jesus Christ to do something about those needs.

Please take time to visit Amazima Ministries’ Web site at http://amazima.org

Also, please add her blog to your favorites folder and read her life changing insights on a regular basis: http://amazima.org/blog.html

And as you read, please pray this prayer: “Lord, please awaken the church and break our hearts with the things that break your heart!”

Her entry reads as follows:

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

*be warned: I always re-read things before I post them. I didn't re-read this one, it is liable to be messy...

I am processing so many emotions right now; I'm just going to go ahead and let you know that this post will not be eloquent or well written. It will not be a beautifully worded story, but just the ramblings of a mom who is tired today. It will just be, and it will be good enough.

On Thursday of last week,I went to check on Michael, a sweet little boy from the Karamajong village that we took care of a few weeks ago. I found him with open sores all over his body. As a result of severe malnutrition, Michael weighs just ten kilos at 6 years old. He is no taller than Jane (my two and a half year old). His skin is breaking and unable to repair itself because his immune system is so weak. His hair is white as snow and his skin is yellow and splotchy and his smile and little bug out eyes can melt your heart and light up the room. Michael is fearfully and wonderfully made, created in the image of my Savior.

I have warned myself over and over that I must NOT start bringing home children from the Karamajong village. We feed them lunch and supper every day and twice a week I drive my van, the trunk loaded with a mini pharmacy, into the middle of their village and treat anything I can. And I told myself and told myself that I would not bring them home for treatment, that twice a week visits were all I could handle right now. I wanted so badly to guard my heart because here's the thing: once you take one, you may end up with 13. I knew that once I had taken one sick child from this village home for rehab, there would be no stopping point because these children are ALL ALWAYS sick.

But as I looked at Michael, I saw no alternative. He needed to be bathed in warm water every day. He needed milk and eggs and ORS and multivitamins and fresh fruits and vegetables and there was no way I could get him all those things regularly where he was. Even if I did, there was no guarantee that his parents would not sell these things and continue only feeding him posho (corn flour). So he came home. He tested negative for HIV, TB and typhoid and we began a pretty rigid deworming routine as well as a highly caloric, protein packed diet. In the last 5 days he has gained 2.5 pounds (that's a lot if you only weigh 20!) but he has gained more than that. I have watched him transform from a lifeless, expressionless little boy who slept all day and was unresponsive to a over-the-top cheerful, sometimes down right ornery little boy who hardly ever stops smiling and loves playing games with other children. The transformation has been remarkable.

I will keep him for about another week as I begin counseling his father and step mother (this is the biggest issue, often second wives do not want to care for their husband's other children and sometimes even write them off as cursed or not worthy of food and provision...) about the most nutritious foods for him, frequent meals, bathing, etc. My heart will break to take him back and yet I will know that it is what is best for him and his family.

Wednesday as I met with the Karamjong children for Bible study a woman walked up to me and handed me a baby that I presumed to be dead. And then she breathed.

The mother told me that she was quite positive that she (the mother) had HIV and therefore was not breastfeeding her 10 pound, 9 month old little girl. I asked, quite obviously, what she had been feeding her then? And this was the response that awaited me, "Nothing. We have no food." Um. NO wonder the baby looked dead. She almost was. I pleaded the mother to let me take her with me, to be tested for HIV and be fed. The mother instantly agreed but first wanted to show me her house.

I think I have seen it all. And then this happens. Their house was made of cardboard and was smaller than the bed I sleep in at night. On the floor lay filthy old rags on which they slept and a pile of charcoal which they cooked on (when they did have food, I guess). I almost dropped on my knees right there. It was one of those I-just-don't-have-a-clue-what-to-do-next moments. So I did the only thing that comes naturally to me. I scooped her up. I prayed for her mother and the 6 other children living in the house/box and promised to return. I drove as fast as I safely could to the nearest semi-good hospital and then to get some high energy formula.
For the first 24 hours, I could hardly stand to look at sweet baby Patricia (her parents had not named her for fear she would die, and I could think of no one better to name her after than my precious Mommy). The hurt and the hunger in her lifeless little eyes was simply unbearable. Every time I changed her diaper, more big fat worms (we are talking really large, earth worm sized) had come out. I cried for the things this child has had to endure for so long. And I cried to know that though I de-worm her now, the minute I take her back to her mother, the worms will return. Her HIV test came back negative and I am praising Jesus for that. She was diagnosed with severe pneumonia and malnutrition. She can hardly sleep at night for coughing so much.

Friends, I ask for prayer. For these children and for my heart. I have fallen in love with Michael and Patricia. Their sweet faces that are Jesus. The tears stream down as I write this and have to think about taking them back to their parents, who I will try to help as much as possible, but still have such fear in my heart about. I look at their surroundings and simply wonder how children survive in this harsh world.

I am sad and I am angry. Between no sleep and a million doctors appointments (imagine that in Uganda you wait even LONGER in the hospital than you do in the US...) and Bible club on Thursday and Saturday program tomorrow and trying to raise 13 children and spend enough time with each of them, maybe you will write my sadness and anger of as the rantings of an exhausted mother and maybe they are, but this is my blog and I am going to say what I feel like. I am MAD. I have been sad and broken for these children for so long and it has finally turned into a hardened anger. I am angry that this culture so lies to women that Michael's stepmother believes that she does not have to care for this child who is not biologically hers, though she has ample means to. I am angry that in the "Pearl of Africa" and the most fertile region of it at that, a mother has literally NO food to feed her baby, not to mention herself or 6 other kids. I am angry that the result of this is that these sweet ones suffer in their innocence. I have said it before and it still holds true: I DO NOT BELIEVE that the God of the universe created too many children in His image and not enough love or food or care to go around. In fact I believe that He created the Body of Christ for just that, to help these little ones, the least of these. And I believe that except for a handful, the Body of Christ is failing. And its not just me who thinks this. When I'm angry, I like to research so that I can at least feel a bit justified in my rage ;) According to several different resources, there are an average of 147 million orphaned children in the world today (this statistic includes children who have lost only one parent as well), 11 million children starve to death each year or die from preventable, treatable illness. 8.5 million children work as child slaves, prostitutes, or in other horrific conditions (making things like that cute baby Gap dress Jane wore today...) 2.3 million children world wide are living with HIV.

That is 168.8 million needy children like Michael and Patricia. Seems like a big number, huh? It shouldn't, because there are 2.1 BILLION people on this earth who profess to be Christians. Jesus followers. Servants. Gospel live-ers. And if only 8 percent of those Christians would care for just ONE of these needy children, they would all be taken care of.

And now I'm just sad again. And I want to take care of all 169 million. But as I look into Patricia's eyes, that since just 48 hours ago have turned bright and smiley, as I smell her hair freshly washed with baby shampoo and snuggle her into her new footie pajamas (side note: is their ANYTHING cuter than a baby in soft cotton footie pajamas?!) God tells me that this one is enough. That He will hold the others while they wait for someone to come along and hold them tight and give them their milk and their medicine. That He doesn't ask me to take them all but to stop for the ONE because that one is Jesus, His son. Stop for the little boy with white hair and scabs covering his body, stop for the baby with feces covering her dress, so weak she can't hold up her head. Stop and take the ones right in front of me and trust Him with the rest. He whispers that it will be ok and that I can smile because tonight 2 less children are hungry and that is good for today.

My anger is gone and I am just a mom who is tired and going to make another bottle and tuck her children into bed and love them the best that I can, as we as a family love the ones God has entrusted us with. Tomorrow I will brainstorm and pray and come up with the best way to take Michael and Patricia back to their homes, possibly find their parents jobs, or supply them with food and medicine. Tomorrow I will remember that they were never mine to begin with, that they are HIS and He will go with them where I cannot. But tonight I will just be. I will just sit with my Father in my sadness and brokenness and anger and ask Him why His innocent children must suffer and beg Him to move people to action and let Him hold me as I hold the baby He has blessed me with for today.

A Post from the Front

My good friend Dick Rutgers is a man after God's own heart. He has been serving the Lord in Guatemala for the last ten years by providing wheelchairs, walkers, and other devices for the disabled of that needy nation. By mutual consent, he sometimes copies my blog into his and I am taking this opportunity to do the same with his.

In this entry, he shares the death of one of his children and remembers five others who have left this life in the last year. As you read his words, pray for Dick and the children he serves.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

This Morning I received a phone call that I had been anticipating for nearly a year now. Milton the 4 year old boy who I met about 16 months ago had died. The doctor at the clinic that I frequently visit down near the coast had brought Milton to my attention at that time.

Here is part of what I entered into my Journal on May 14 2008.

Soon we were at the first home. The father greeted us at the gate. Through the open gate we could see 2 children sitting in a hammock and a mother that was holding a child that appeared to be starving. At first the father seemed a bit apprehensive about letting us in but after a while he motioned for us to follow him to the house. As we visited we were told that the family had taken 3 year old Milton to doctors shortly after he was born but they had been told that there was nothing much that could be done for him. The father told us that a few other doctors looked at him as well but as soon as any money that the family had was used up the doctors would no longer help them. Milton’s father told us that he was giving up and later confided in us that he wished that his son were dead so that the family could go on with their lives. He explained that they had no money for a wheelchair and some one had to always be holding Milton. He asked if we knew of any orphanages that would take his child because he was at the end of his rope. As we talked I realized why this father had such bitterness in his hart. He told us that neighbors and friends were continually reminding him and his wife that it was their fault that they had a child like this. They were continually being told that Milton was a curse from God because they had done some great sin. I handed Milton back to his mother and walked over to the father and put my hand on his shoulder. I had been studding Milton as I was holding him and was convinced that Milton had cerebral palsy. With the help of Carlos interpreting I explained to the parents that I had been watching Milton’s eyes and he had been taking everything in. Yes it was true that Milton had many physical limitations but he was very bright. I also told them about Stephen who is back in the States and about several of the kids at the orphanage who have CP. I told them about what they were able to do and about what a blessing they were to all of us who knew them. I then told Milton’s parents that some times God puts things into our lives for reasons that we do not fully understand, but that the reason that Milton had CP was not a result of something terrible that they had done but caused by a lack of oxygen at birth. When I said that I could feel father let out a sigh of relief and the stern look on his face disappeared as his eyes filled up with tears. Mother who had been staring at the ground looked up and said “That is exactly what happened!” She went on to tell us that Milton had indeed suffered oxygen starvation at birth but she had never been told by any one that the lack of oxygen was the likely cause of Milton’s problems. Both parents looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off from their shoulders.

Not long after that we had Milton admitted into the malnutrition ward of Hermano Pedro. Every thing possible was done for Milton but his condition was so bad that after a few months it was agreed upon by all of us that Milton would be better off whit a family (including the father) who now realized that this child was not a curse but a gift from God. Even though most of us didn’t think that Milton would last more than a few weeks he proved us wrong. This was due in part to a generous sponsor who made it possible for us to bring in food and medication on a monthly bases but an even larger factor in what kept Milton alive was that he was now surrounded in love. Now whenever I stopped in to visit the entire family welcomed me. On numerous occasions I would be told that Milton was not at home because one of the other children had taken him for a walk in the wheelchair that we had provided. On the rare occasions that we did find him at home he was always in the arms of some one that loved him. This included his Father. Yesterday Milton went home to the arms of his heavenly father.





Milton will be missed by all of us.

Here are five more kids that I have had the privilege of knowing that have died within the past year.

Carlos

Rodrigo

Lisbi

Alvin

Ana Maribel

It never gets any easier to loose any of them but I count it a privilege to have known them and I try to remember that,

"Death is not extinguishing the light from the Christian;

it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."

Goodnight,

Yours in Christ: Dick

Wealthy and Unaware

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." 

– Jesus (Matthew 19:23-24)

During the last 20 years of ministry I have often struggled with both the American church and my own heart. What is it that makes it so difficult for us to surrender everything we have in order to follow Jesus? What is it that makes it so difficult for us to step out in faith, trust God, and touch a dying world? I think I have finally found the answer.

During our international travels we have frequently laughed at the perceptions of the locals we encounter. In many parts of the world they assume that if you are an American you are wealthy. Wanda and I have often looked at each other and laughed over this perception because we know our economic situation. A ministry salary + 10 kids = (Well, you do the math). Then we shake our heads, explain that we don’t have the money to purchase the goods they are selling, and walk away.

If I were to take a poll of the typical church-goer I am sure that very few would see themselves as wealthy. Most would label themselves as low, low-middle, or middle income because they judge themselves by what they see on a daily basis. They own a home, but it is not as big as they would like. They own a car, but it is not as new as they would like. They live on a tight budget and not nearly as lavishly as others they live near or with whom they work or go to school. Of course they (and I) are not rich. At least we assume that we are not.

However, when you stop and analyze our standards of living, we are. In fact, even if you take a low income family existing solely on public assistance their income and standard of living far exceeds the typical citizen of our world. In fact, it would place them in the upper 15% of our planet. So where does that place the rest of us?

I would venture that each of us awoke this morning and placed our feet on a floor, not dirt. And not only was it a floor, but it had a covering such as carpet, tile, or hardwood. We walked across that floor to a bathroom which had indoor plumbing carrying water that was safe to drink. We used a toilet that offered sanitary disposal of our waste with minimal effort. We put on clean clothes (unless you are a college student who has waited too long to do your laundry). And we ate at least a couple of meals today. If we had woken up sick this morning, we would have had access to a doctor, treatment, and medicine, even if we were uninsured. And as you read these words you are doing so through a computer through which you have access to information and knowledge for which much of the world is starving.

But in addition to all that, we have STUFF! We have our televisions, computer, games, vehicles, clothing, toys, books, MP3 players, etc. that fill up our homes and storage. In fact, we regularly accumulate so much STUFF that we have to rent storage space to place it in or host yard sales to get rid of our STUFF to make room for more STUFF!

And yet, we stand in the midst of our houses or apartments surrounded by all of our STUFF and fail to realize that we are wealthy. And all of that STUFF is what makes it so hard to follow Jesus with abandon. We convince ourselves that we are not rich, that we need all of this STUFF, and Jesus would never ask us to give it all up. And because we are unwilling to give it all up, we seldom give any of it up.

In Revelation 3:17-18 Jesus gives the following message to the church in Laodicea:

You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

At first glance, it is tempting to see the Laodiceans as different from the church of the US in 2009. They seemed to think they were rich and have everything they needed while we seem to be unaware of our own wealth. But we are actually their twins. Like them, we think that we have everything we need in the STUFF that surrounds us. But, in reality, the church is “wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” And God begs us to exchange our STUFF for real wealth.

And therein lies the difficulty. We have to let go of the STUFF in order to gain the life and the wealth to which God call all believers. And the more we have, the harder it is to let go and follow. And, because the typical American believer clings so tightly to these possessions, we are ineffective at touching the needs of the world around us. Instead of reflecting the priorities of Jesus, we mirror the culture around us.

Meanwhile, people are waiting to catch a glimpse of the real Jesus in us. And while they wait, they are dying.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of STUFF.

Quotes That Challenge, Inspire, and Trouble

Following is a few of the quotes that God has been using to challenge, inspire, and trouble me. Perhaps they will do the same for you.

Why do you call me, “Lord, Lord,” and not do what I say? – Jesus (Luke 6:46)

Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now. – Saint Teresa of Avila

We have shrunk Jesus to the size where He can save our soul but now don’t believe that He can change the world. – Anonymous

The true gospel is a call to self-denial. It is not a call to self fulfillment. – John MacArthur

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. – Frederick Buechner

What if there are children who will suffer somehow because I failed to obey God? What if my cowardice costs even on child somewhere in the world his or her life? – Richard Stearns

It’s not what you believe that counts; it’s what you believe enough to do. – Gary Gulbranson

We can be the generation that no longer accepts that an accident of latitude determines whether a child lives or dies---but will we be that generation? – Bono

And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward. – Jesus (Matthew 10:42)

Christianity is flourishing wonderfully among the poor and persecuted while it atrophies among the rich and secure. – Philip Jenkins

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. – Psalm 82:3-4

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. – Martin Luther King Jr.

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.” -- “Well, why don’t you ask Him?” -- “Because I am afraid He would ask me the same question.” – Anonymous

Pray, but when you pray, move to your feet. – African Proverb

If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered. – Proverbs 21:13

How different our standard is from Christ’s. We ask how much a man gives. He asks how much he keeps. – Andrew Murray

I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap, and then you grow wings. – William Sloane Coffin

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. – Mohandas Gandhi

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night in a closed room with a mosquito. – African Proverb

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. – Joel Barker

If these quotes challenge, inspire, and trouble you please pick up and read the book The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns.

Faces that Follow

Well, we are home again. The last two days have been filled with unpacking and catching up with my other life here in the States. But as I settle back in I find that there are some faces that follow me and come to mind often. I want to take a moment to introduce them to you and ask you to pray for them in the days ahead.

Delmi is one of the most ignored children in Hermano Pedro. From a human standard she is homely. Her large ears and bulbous nose are not exactly cover girl material for today’s magazines. Yet she is beautiful. She and I spent a large part of the day together on Monday of our trip. She went with us to the park and enjoyed a break from the prison of Hermano Pedro. At one point, I took off her socks and placed her twisted feet into the fountain and helped her splash the water. Her face lit up with a beautiful smile and she laid her head over against my chest. Delmi is precious and wonderful and she needs someone to show her that truth.

Byron is an incredibly sharp young man with a wonderful sense of humor and a joy for life. This joy radiates from him despite the situation in which he lives. Dick Rutgers has fitted him with an electric wheelchair that he steers with his head because his arm control is not sufficient, and he spends every moment out of his crib speeding around the facilities of Hermano Pedro. It is so easy to see the twisted, disabled body on the outside and miss what wonderful intelligence and wit lies inside. He is such a fun person for those who take the time to know him. He needs someone to talk to him as a young man and see the sharp mind and humor that lies inside.

Louis is a little guy who capture the heart of my daughter, Krishauna, on our last Guatemala trip. He has also captured the hearts of Wanda and I. After long periods with little interaction he is slow to respond and even slower to smile. But with a few hours of attention from someone who loves him he will make noises attempting to talk, connect through strong eye contact, and is quick to smile and laugh. He has become our son and we love him deeply. Simply put, Louis needs a family (just as all the children do) to love him, encourage him, talk to him, and hold him.

Gloria is a beautiful eight year old girl whose smile can light up a room. Until this trip we believed, due to the staff and some volunteers, that she was deaf. However, during the time we spent with her we realized that she was startled by loud noises. She practices self stimulation by brushing her hand across her lips in a rapid manner. She too has become our child and we are head over heals in love with her. She needs a family who believes in her, advocates for her, and loves her with passion. Our arms feel especially empty without her in them.

I have highlighted four of the wonderful children from Hermano Pedro, but they are just a sampling of the hundreds of beautiful and incredible children, teens, and adults who fill their wards. I have grown to love and respect every one of them. That is why I struggle so much each time I leave them behind. When I am there I feel like a father to each of them, and when I am away I feel as if a part of me is missing.

Please join us for one of our trips to Guatemala where you can get to know these gifts from God as I have. To find more info or to sign-up go to http://www.hopeforhome.org/HfH_-_Trips.html. You’ll change lives…including your own.

Saying Goodbye

Friday, July 24

From the moment a ministry trip is planned, this day is the day I dread…the last day in Guatemala. The reason is different than you might think. Unlike vacations when I can find myself hesitant to leave behind the relaxation and head back to the daily work schedule, the dread I face today is rooted in something entirely different. It centers on saying goodbye to children whom I have come to consider my own.

After another busy day that started out, once again, at Hermano Pedro and was followed by more work at Los Gozosos, I found myself back at HP with Gloria, Louis, Delmi, Big Melvin, Little Melvin, Hugo, Henry, Brenda, Diego, Moieses, Elmer, Minor, Roberto, Leonel, and a host of other precious children. And as the time approached for us to leave, my heart broke. How do I leave behind these children I love so much?

One by one I helped tuck them into their cribs and went to each of the 43 cribs in two wards to touch every child. I told them each “Te amo” (I love you) and gave them each a kiss. And as I walked out into the courtyard I found quiet place to weep.

As the day draws to an end I realize that many of these little ones will wake up tomorrow and look for me to return. But by the time they start their day I will be in the air in route to a different country. The same faces that lit up this week when I walked into their worlds each day will wonder why I didn’t return. And I confess that I am struggling at my deepest levels with that reality.

While I will return to the states to continue my life, their small world of stainless steel cribs and long hours of tedium and medication will continue. And I ask myself this, “What more can I do?”

The answer to that question remains to be found, but it will be. I will not rest until I find that answer and make a long term difference in the lives of these little ones and others like them.

Please join me in praying for the answer. And join me in desiring to be a part of that answer.

 Jesus, please hold these children that I cannot.

Anniversary in Antigua

Note: Due to a hectic schedule and unreliable internet I am behind in updating this blog. So, I am posting the dates of the original entries. More will follow soon

Thursday, July 23

Today Wanda and I celebrated 21 wonderful years of marriage and we did it in the best way imaginable. We spent the day loving the children of Guatemala, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

The day started early as we rushed to Hermano Pedro to be there when the doors opened. We helped to feed the children and had a great time playing with them. It was such a wonderful thing to see the kids light up when they saw us. It is good to know that we can brighten their lives, even if it is only temporary.

We then rushed back to the hotel, grabbed a quick bite of breakfast, and caught the team’s van to Los Gozosos, an orphanage and school for special needs children. This is a wonderful place where the children are loved and well cared for. In addition, they learn about Jesus. However, they are underfunded and struggle to maintain their facilities. They need the support of Christians to continue their work and increase their abilities to care for more children. You can learn more at http://www.webwizardry.net/~losgozosos/Los%20Gozosos/Welcome.html.

While at Los Gozosos our team worked in their courtyard removing bushes and vines and helping to prepare for a garden that will help them with their food costs. The work was hard, but it was good to help such a worthwhile ministry. We had lunch with the children and caregivers and it was a wonderful family-like atmosphere. I made an excellent friend in our translator, Santos, and we enjoyed hearing about his family.

We returned to Antigua where we rushed back to Hermano Pedro for the last hour before they closed their doors. It is always hard to say goodnight to the children and leave them there. As we laid little Louis in his crib and walked away he began to cry. It is a reminder that the children get as attached to us as we do to them.

This evening Wanda and I dressed up (as much as you dress up in Antigua) and went out to eat at a beautiful open-air restaurant called Cafe Sky to celebrate our anniversary. Then we enjoyed a wonderful walk through the streets of Antigua. After 21 years I can honestly say that I love my girl more than ever. She is such an incredible wife and friend and a wonderful woman of God. And one of the things I love most about her is that she so willingly and joyfully spends our anniversary loving these precious children. I pray that everyone could know the kind of marriage that I have found with my Wanda. What a life and what a wife!