Helplessness and Presence

I would like to share three examples to demonstrate how helpless we are in a place that is filled with people needing help. Hang in there, because I have a good reason for sharing these stories.

Story #1

Last week I traveled to Guastatoya to deliver two wheelchairs. The first delivery went without a flaw and we had 11 year old Carla sitting nicely in her new chair. From there we traveled to a local physical therapy center where we met Dora to give her the second chair. However, as soon as she saw her new chair she informed us that it would not work, telling us that it needed to have a much lower seat. At first I just thought she was being unappreciative, as both she and her mother expressed frustration over the chair. But as we talked, they both softened and shared the reason that they were discouraged. This conversation led us load them both into my truck and drive them to their home to talk more. This journey with them changed my entire perspective.

The drive to their home was about 1 1/2 miles and ended on a very steep street. At that point we parked, unloaded Dora’s old wheelchair and I lifted her from the truck into the chair. We then pushed her up a hill and turned down a side alley, where we faced another hill. And when we arrived at their home, I suddenly understood the problem. There was a set of steep chairs leading down from the street to their courtyard. Then there was another set of steps from the courtyard into their house. Due to severe birth defects in both her legs she is not able to walk at all, so I turned and asked her the question to which I already knew the answer. “How do you get into you house?” She hung her head in embarrassment and softly answered, “I crawl.”

To save her from doing that in front of strangers, I carried her down both sets of steps. And it was no easy task.

At this point, I realized that she and her mother were right. The chair we brought would not work. She needed a chair low enough that she could get into it from the ground, because regular crawling is a part of her life.

We spent time with them in their home and discovered that they were without food and work. Her mother fell and broke her arm two months ago, and she went to the national hospital where the doctors did surgery, if you can call it that. They butchered her, and her upper arm is horribly mangled as a result. So she is pushing her daughter’s wheelchair with one arm. I honestly don’t know how she does it.

There are a few things we can do to help them. We are going to begin delivering a basket of food each month. (If you are interested in sponsoring this $29 basket for them, please e-mail me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.) I am also trying to arrange for an orthopedic surgery team to look at the mother’s arm. However, I have spent hours since that meeting trying to figure out how to keep Dora from having to crawl in the dirt. But I have come to the conclusion there is nothing I can do. We cannot provide a means to get her into her own home without her crawling. And that really bothers me.

Story #2

During that same trip we stopped to visit Marta. She is an elderly lady with whom we have been working for over three years. She has a nasty circulation sore on her left leg that she has had for over 20 years, and we have been treating it. Each month we visit, clean the sore which wraps all the way around her lower leg, wrap it in gauze and then in an Ace bandage to help the circulation. After three years, we have made no headway in her healing. Why? Because no matter how hard we try, we cannot get her to wrap her leg the way we show her. For a brief period of about two months, she did. And during that time we saw tremendous improvement. But then she stopped again and we were back to square one.

This time I teased her. I told her that I knew why she wasn’t wrapping her foot and leg. It was because I am so good looking and she is afraid that if her leg heals I will stop visiting her. But I assured her I would visit her after her leg healed. She laughed, punched me in the arm and we all laughed together. But most likely Marta will die with that circulation sore, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Story #3

Yesterday morning I received a call informing me that little Maria Jose, age six, had passed away. She lived in the town of Sipacate, right next to the Pacific Ocean, and we had been working with her for around 21 months. She developed cerebral palsy after getting immunized and running a high fever. Many people do not know how to treat fever here, so her temperature spiked and brain damage was the result. Maria suffered from frequent sicknesses and infections. We were providing formula each month and assisting with medical treatment when she needed it. When Manuel, Gerardo and our nurse, Katie Riley, visited her last week, she was sick again with a throat infection. But she was on antibiotics and we expected a full recovery.

However, Thursday morning at around 1:30 her parent found her in her bed, not breathing. Their hearts were broken. And so were ours.

So, this morning Dale, Anita, Gerardo, Manuel and I traveled to Sipacate to participate in her funeral. We grieved with the family, walked two miles in the procession under a hot sun and watched as she was entombed. And we hugged, wept and prayed with her family and friends.

In spite of our best efforts, Maria Jose is dead. There is nothing that we could do to save her. In fact, we cannot save anyone. We cannot add a single moment to anyone’s life. That is the role of the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Even in those moments in which we have “saved a life” it was only due to God’s plan and His willingness to use us to accomplish His purposes. In a ministry that exists to glorify God by helping, we find ourselves helpless, over and over again.

So, why are we here? Is this an announcement that we are a failure and are closing up shop? No, of course not. Just the opposite. Because in each of these stories, we are doing what God calls all of us to do…be present in lives.

This ministry is not about wheelchairs, medicine, therapy, formula, food and medical treatment. It is about Jesus Christ and drawing people to Him. It is not about meeting needs and fixing problems, although we try to do those things when we are able. It is about being present in lives as representatives of Jesus Christ.

That is exciting when you think about it. You and I, everyday, get to go out as ambassadors for Him. We get to be present in the lives of others and show them what Jesus looks like in the flesh. We get to speak and touch and hug and love in His name.

Don’t misunderstand me, I do this so imperfectly. I know I am but a dim reflection of the One True Light. But increasingly I am reflecting that light. And I pray that is true for you as well.

Dora and her mom need Jesus, far more than they need a solution for her crawling in the dirt. So we will help with the things with which we can, but that is not the reason we are there. We are there to be with them, through whatever hardships they face. We are there to simply be present in Jesus’ name.

Marta’s primary need is not healing for her leg. It is healing for her heart. That is why we will continue to visit her month after month, even though she does not bandage her leg the way we repeatedly ask her to. I want her to know that she is not alone and that she is loved. And I want her to understand that Jesus is the source of that love, so that she will learn to love Him in return. So we will be present in her life in Jesus’ name.

We were not able to save Maria Jose’s life. However, we were able to be present in her life and the life of her family during her final 21 months. And that presence will continue. We no longer need to deliver formula or help with medical needs, but we will keep visiting her family. We love them, and Jesus is the source of that love. We will continue to be present with this family in Jesus’ name.

What about you? All of us are surrounded by people who desperately need the presence of Jesus in their lives. They are in your school, your workplace, your neighborhood and your family. And we are called to be that presence. We are asked to do God’s will “on earth as it is in heaven” by reflecting Jesus wherever we are present. But it is so easy to miss that calling. We are so busy doing good things that we can forget to simply be present with people. Who in your life is starving for the presence of God through you?

What an awesome responsibility and privilege we have. Let’s not forget the real reason we are here. Let’s go and be present.

From a fellow helpless servant,

Daryl