Over the last 10 days we had the privilege of hosting my sister, Kathy, her husband, Bob, my brother, Rusty and his wife, Vanessa. This has been a very special time for me to have them with us. It is only the second time I have seen them since moving to Guatemala, with the last time being my mother’s funeral in October of 2012.
It was a great time, but it felt surreal at moments. When I was a child I remember occasionally encountering one of my teachers from school in a store. It was a strange thing for me, because I could not imagine that teachers had a life outside of school. Yet there they were, intruding into my world while doing things like shopping, which real people do. (This experience was especially traumatic during the summer months because they served as a reminder that they were waiting for me at the end of vacation.)
My time with my family was something like that, only much more powerful and much, much nicer. My brother and sister, with whom I had grown up were suddenly in our new world of Guatemala for the first time. But instead of being an intrusion like my grade school teachers, they were a very welcomed presence in our home and ministry. And suddenly the North Carolina of my childhood came together with the Guatemala of my present, and it felt so very good. Two very different worlds came together and blended beautifully.
During their time here they had the opportunity to reacquaint themselves with our kids and to get to know the children in our group home. They also had the opportunity to travel with me and see our rural village ministry first-hand. Kathy and Bob spent a day with me down in Las Palmas and Rusty and Vanessa traveled with me to San Pablo La Laguna. Likewise, Rusty and Bob were able to travel with me to Zone 18 in Guatemala City to deliver a new wheelchair to a young man named Brandon and measure another child for a needed chair. Each of these times out were great, as they exposed my family to our work. But they also served another purpose. Each of my siblings and sibling-in-laws were able to help me see both Guatemala and our ministry through fresh eyes.
We have lived and served in Guatemala for over three years now, and it is easy to get used to the things we see on a daily basis. To be honest, I now take for granted things like erupting volcanoes, earthquakes, power outages, beautiful mountain views, mud-floored huts, rough mountain roads, widow-maker showerheads and poverty.
Yep, you read that right. I am now used to the poverty we encounter every day. I can step into a tiny, one room house with mud floors and large holes in the wall that is filled to the brim with a family dressed in ragged clothes. I can visit with them, make a delivery of food, formula or medicine and then leave without really seeing the desperate nature of their situation.
But my family opened my eyes anew and helped me see again. On numerous occasions we left a home, village or school and I turned to see tears in their eyes. And in each situation I realized that my eyes were dry. In each case, my heart remained unbroken by the things that break the heart of God. And that bothered me. How, in such a short time, have I gotten used to the things that used to make me sob.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there is more to caring for the poor and desperate than shedding tears. I realize that a person can weep about oppression, abuse and poverty and then walk away and do nothing about them. In that case, it is just empty emotions. But, likewise, we can also enter in those situations, help alleviate the suffering and then walk away having done a good deed without ever seeking to feel and share in their suffering. And my family helped me realize that I have been doing just that.
It is a defensive posture that I have assumed. Somewhere along the way I decided that it is just too hard to feel so much. So, little by little I have placed a wall around my heart to protect it. That is my being a coward in the midst of heroes, because each day these families face their pain and suffering and keep going, most with a smile on their face and hope for the future. Yet here I am protecting my heart by not even investing Christ-like empathy for their situation.
When I moved here I vowed that would never happen to me. I pledged that I would always keep my heart soft and my eyes open. But my family has shown me just how far I have strayed from that commitment. And so, I am re-entering the arena with a softer heart and the desperate prayer that God will help me keep it soft. I need Jesus to give me His eyes anew every day lest I walk past suffering without really seeing. If you are one of my faithful prayer partners I ask you to please pray that on my behalf regularly.
On a brighter and much cuter note, we received two new children into our group home on Friday, February 28. Since then, I feel like I am seeing double. Twin girls, Raquel and Ester, have invaded, and these two little ones have added a spark to our home and made it even busier. They are 2 1/2 years old and have microcephalus that has delayed their cognitive and physical development. They seem to function in both areas with the skills and development of the typical 14 – 18 month old. We are still having them evaluated to see what interventions they may need. This involves appointments with our local doctor, a pediatrician, a neurologist and numerous tests. Our big concern is that often microcephalus is a worsening condition as the brain continues to grow. Our desire is to provide medical treatment to minimize the impact of this condition. Meanwhile, they are keeping us running and laughing.
One of the things we discovered almost immediately was that they were used to having their own way. They seemed to believe that if their tantrum was loud and long enough we would cave to their demands. They learned quickly that we don’t negotiate. (It reminds me of an old joke: What’s the difference between a two year old and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.) Gradually the tantrums are diminishing and life is settling into a rhythm again. Please pray for Raquel and Ester.
Well, that’s all for now. Sorry for the erratic nature of this blog in recent months. I will try to update with better regularity.
Blessing from Guatemala!
Daryl, Wanda and the Crew
