"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46:1-3
After a long day of travel I arrived in NC late on Sunday evening. My brother met me at the airport and drove me straight to the hospital. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived my mom was not responsive and remained that way for most of the week that I was there. She had to remain heavily sedated since she would become agitated due to pain and fear from the respirator. There was one point (I believe on Wednesday) that she did smile and nod her head, but other than that I could never even get her to squeeze my hand.
I realized that I waited too long to travel. If I had arrived on Saturday I could have seen her before they intubated her and could have talked with her. Hind-sight is always 20/20, but this was a majorly blind mistake on my part, and I missed my last opportunity to be with my mom.
On Thursday I made the decision to delay my return to Guatemala until today (Sunday). As Sunday approached, it seemed like we were not close to knowing anything definite, and the doctor indicated that it would likely be a week or two until we knew if she would recover or not. So, last night I spent time alone with mom telling her goodbye. In my heart I knew it would be my last time to see her in this life, so I wanted to say everything that I needed to say. I then boarded a flight early this morning to head back to Guatemala.
When my plane landed in Miami I received a text from my sister, Kathy, telling me that she had spoken with the doctor this morning. He told her that he does not believe my mom will ever recover and be able to breath on her own. So, we either choose to have them do a tracheotomy to maintain her breathing long-term, or we need to discontinue the use of the respirator and let her go. Mom always told us that she never wanted to live like that, so we will be letting her go.
Kathy, my brother (Rusty) and I will be making a decision regarding the timing of this. I am inclined to make it sooner rather than later because she has been suffering so much. I will be finishing my trip home today and will then schedule a return trip later this week for the funeral. There is simply no way to intercept my bag and turning around now would not save any money.
Please pray for Kathy, Rusty, the in-laws, extended family and me in the days ahead. Pray for Wanda and the kids that will need to do without me for more time. Also pray for provision as I once again have to pay for another trip to NC. Finally, please pray for our ministry in Guatemala that is suffering in my absence.
While I do not understand God’s ways, I trust Him with all my heart. He is the very definition of goodness and love. So, in the midst of this pain, we cling to Him.
Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging words.
Because of Him,
Daryl
