Saying “No”

I have lived in Guatemala for almost 15 months now. There are a myriad of things that were difficult when we first arrived, but have gotten easier with the passing of time. Communication is one. My Spanish is very weak, but I can generally function pretty well in day-to-day tasks. Getting around is another. Gradually the strange maze of streets that all looked alike have become very familiar and easy to navigate.

But there is one thing that has not gotten easier. In fact, it gets harder and harder with each passing week. And that is saying a simple two-letter word…“No.”

A half-hour ago a family showed up at my door. Claudia, a single mother, rang our bell along with her two little ones and mother. They live in a small shack in San Antonio that has a corrugated steel roof with major leaks, allowing water to flow into and through their home when it rains. (One wall is made of cardboard and bamboo.) And now they are facing another five months of rainy season. They asked if we could help them by providing corrugated steel to repair their roof and, if we could spare it, some food.

At first glance, this seems like an easy “No.” After all, we work with children with special needs. Her children are healthy. We can’t help everyone, can we? Our resources are limited, money is tight and they do not fit within our ministry’s parameters. So, I told them we could not help them. I am however collecting information from them to share with another ministry that does that kind of work.

But, face it, even if they qualify for help from this ministry they will be placed on a waiting list and will probably face the entire rainy season in their current situation. (That is not a criticism of this wonderful program that builds houses at all. The needs are great and their resources are limited as well.) So, as they left our home the words of Matthew 25 came to me and I found myself wondering if I had just sent Jesus back out on the street.

There are days and moments that I just don’t know what to do. (God, please help me. I just don’t know what to do.) If I say “Yes” to every need around us, we will be bankrupt by the end of the month. At the same time, how do you send a single mother and her family back to a home with no food and a leaky roof and an 80% chance of rain and call yourself a Christ-follower? When do you decide that it doesn’t matter what your ministry is and take personal responsibility for the heart of Jesus? How do you do that without going broke?

I just told Gerardo to pack up a box of food and take it to them. On his way to their house he will pass lots of people with great needs and hunger, any of which may knock on our door tomorrow seeking help. And, once again, I will not know what to do. Shoot, I still don’t know what I will do about Claudia’s roof.

I am surrounded by good missionaries here. They offer great wisdom and advise, and all of them tell me the same thing, “Daryl, you just need to pick your ministry and say “no” to the rest.” Good advise. And yet I see every one of them disregard that advise regularly because none of them want to send Jesus away hungry, naked or homeless.

To put it simply, I don’t know what I am doing. Surely there is someone out there who can do it way better than me. Someone who knows when to say “yes” and when to say “no” and who will not keep revisiting every decision. Someone with far more wisdom than me. If you are one of them, please come and join us. I will be happy to do what you tell me to do.

Please pray for Claudia and her family. And, as you do so, throw in a prayer for this lunkhead who struggles with basic decisions.

Daryl