Pushing and Pulling

Tonight I feel the pull of Guatemala’s children in a more profound way than ever before. I should be in bed now, but sleep seems far away because my mind keeps visiting the kids that I love so much.

We watched some video this evening that was taken several years ago at Hermano Pedro, and I was struck by how much the kids have grown and changed. And I was brought to tears realizing that they have stared at the same ceilings and walls for all the days, weeks, months, and years since.

I desperately want to be there, investing my life in them and others who are far worse off. And we are close. We have rented our home, purchased our plane tickets (for January 25th), and have begun the final stage of downsizing. Yet, for some reason, our move seems far away tonight.

We are pushing hard these days. I am in the process of preparing the US side of our ministry to be handed off to our new office manager. We are selling items on Craig’s List and giving away still more. The few items of sentimental value that are to be placed in storage are being packed, and final checklists are being made. Yet there is still so much to be done before we go. So, Guatemala seems far away right now.

As we have prepared for this move, most of our friends and family have been supportive and encouraging. But some have not. Some are even becoming hostile toward us as the move gets closer. They don’t understand what would drive us to uproot our kids and move to a foreign country. They see it as personal betrayal or abandonment as we leave them behind. They don’t understand the pull. And until they look into the eyes of these children that we love and see them as more than statistics, they never will.

But regardless of the understanding of others, we feel the pull and hear the call of God and we are going. To not do so would be to forsake who we were created to be and the One who created us. We can no more resist this call than we can stop breathing. So, we keep pushing through to-do lists while Guatemala pulls.

And as the pushing and pulling continues and Guatemala seems so far away, I am praying for our kids. And tonight I pray that my Jesus, who is close to us all, will hold them tightly in His arms.