If I had to come up with one word to describe my life right now it would be a difficult task. There are a lot of descriptive words that could be employed. Excited, inspired, blessed, and busy are just a few that would work. But none of them would assume the top position.
The one word that would probably describe my life right now is “overwhelmed.” I feel absolutely overwhelmed with the vision of our expanding ministry.
Needing a change of location this afternoon, I grabbed my laptop and left my basement office to experience life above-ground at a local Tim Hortons. For the last two hours I have been sitting here working on a brochure to describe our new ministries in Guatemala. And as I have typed, the magnitude of the task ahead has hit me hard. A group home for children with special needs, a ministry to rural villages, and a pastor training program…any one of these alone seems like an overwhelming task, even with healthy funding. But in three months our family will be leaving the United States, moving to Guatemala, and tackling all three with a shortage of funds. So, I am feeling overwhelmed, ill-equipped, and way under-qualified.
As I think about it, though, those feelings have been present with me through most of my life with Jesus. I remember feeling that way through every major step I have taken in my adult life. I recall accepting my first ministry position in North Carolina right after graduation from college. My young bride and I packed up our PA apartment and headed south. And I felt overwhelmed.
In 1990, we packed-up again, this time with a 3 month old daughter, and headed for a strange and distant land…Ohio. There we started a youth group as I was, once again, overwhelmed and under-qualified.
In 1995 we moved to Greenville, OH to start anew with another youth group. This time we had three daughters in-tow and were taking a $5000 a year pay-cut. Our first youth group meeting had five teens and I, once again, felt overwhelmed.
In 1999 we moved to Troy to start a church. Wanda and I sat in a circle with three other couples and dreamed about the future. And I wondered how on earth we would ever see that dream become reality. Overwhelmed again.
In 2006 we left that church to begin a communications ministry with The Shepherd’s Crook, and I felt overwhelmed. In 2008 I was laid off from that position and called by God to start Hope for Home Ministries. Can you guess how I was feeling? I think you get the idea.
So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I once again feel overwhelmed as we take our biggest step of faith ever. In fact, I would be surprise and a little worried if I didn’t. If I were a little more aware I would probably feel that way more often and much more strongly.
I think God calls His people to do God-sized tasks. Any idiot can do a human-sized task because we are all human-sized. But God asks us to do the impossible and to trust in Him to provide the necessary miracles. He did that repeatedly in scripture. He did it with Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, Noah, Gideon, Mary, and Peter. And I believe every single one of them wrestled with being overwhelmed. That is probably why God had to repeatedly remind them of his promises and faithfulness.
So, I will go back to work on my brochure that describes a God-sized ministry. And, as I do, I will remind myself that it doesn’t depend on human-sized Daryl.
