Painful Downsizing

Currently there is a yard sale going on in our front yard. This is the third one we have held in the last five months since we have decided to downsize our lives and move to Guatemala. When we made the decision to do this, it seemed like an easy choice. Why wouldn’t we get rid of the junk that has cluttered our house and lives so long in order to make an eternal difference?

But the reality of actually letting go of the possessions that hold so many memories is actually harder than I anticipated. There are a few items that were especially difficult to see go. Already this morning I said goodbye to my first shotgun (a single shot .410) that my father bought for me when I was ten. The gun is just an object, but the man who gave it to me is a man that I loved dearly and is no longer with us. In some ways, I felt as if I sold a significant link to my dad and wondered, as I did so, if I was betraying him. That was hard. Profit: $55.00.

We also sold our wedding china. I bought it for Wanda right before our wedding. I actually bought two sets of eight because we were planning for years of ministry that would involve lots of entertaining. Of course, we never dreamed we would have ten children, leaving room for only four guests! It has traveled with us from Pennsylvania to North Carolina to four houses in Ohio. We ate many special meals off that china and entertained wonderful friends. (Previous members of our leadership teams will remember them from our yearly Christmas dinners.) It has been sold now. Profit: $150.00.

Wanda is selling her favorite childhood toy, a wooden kitchen center with cabinets, a sink, an oven, and a “window” showing a beautiful outdoors scene cut from a magazine. It was made for her by her father, and she loves it dearly. It hasn’t sold yet, but when it does it will leave with some very precious memories. Likely profit: $20.00 – 30.00.

Those are just a few of the hundreds of items to which we are saying goodbye. Birthday and Christmas gifts, lovingly made arts and crafts, my old comic book collection, and so much more. And once they leave, we can never recover or reclaim them. And it can leave me wondering if we are doing the right thing.

Then I think of Guatemala and the children who are waiting for us there. These children were created in the image of God and are so valuable to Him that He died for them. Jesus would never die for an old shotgun or china or a toy. He would not think of dying for a house or an automobile. But He would die for the sake of humanity, His greatest and most loved creation. There is no comparing the value of an object to a life. A life will always outweigh a possession on any worthwhile scale.

And I will take comfort in knowing that my dad, who now has the perfect eternal perspective, would understand and want me to sell anything and everything he gave me in order to save lives and souls. I have not betrayed him, I have honored both him and my heavenly Dad.

So, we will continue to sell our possessions, at times with a tear in our eyes. And we do it so we can get to Guatemala as quickly as possible to love the unloved and care for God’s masterpieces.  Profit: Priceless and Eternal.

Shooting Bullets in the Wrong Direction

Over the week I have been a listening ear to a friend of mine who has been going through struggles with a local church. I am an outsider who is hearing everything through the filter of my friend, but as best as I can determine she and her husband has been asked to leave their church because of their passion for ministering to the poor. It seems that the questions they are asking of the congregation and its leadership have made people uncomfortable, and, instead of facing those questions head-on, they are just making them go away.

I can relate to the plight of my friends. Over the last three-and-a-half years my family and I have spoken at over 100 churches across the eastern half of the US. During those times we have experienced both the best and the worst that the church has to offer, sometimes seeing both within the same congregation. We have seen people rise to the challenge of true discipleship while others became angry when confronted with a Gospel that expects life change. And during this time we have seen people who have plenty of weapons and ammunition to use for the Kingdom, but instead fire the bullets within the church instead of at their real enemies.

It is the plague of near-sited Christianity. We see so clearly the needs, struggles, and faults within the walls of our churches, but are blind to a dying world that surrounds us. We focus so readily on meetings, committees, classes, programs, and budgets and begin to believe those things really matter. And when someone or something comes along that causes us to see beyond those things it is easy to feel threatened, offended, or just plain angry. It shakes the status quo and invades our comfort zones and we don’t like it. At that moment it is far easier to shoot the messenger and resume our previously scheduled lives than to put on the glasses of the Gospel and allow ourselves to be changed.

Meanwhile there is a war raging outside our doors, and instead of fighting God’s battles out there, we fight a civil war within our ranks. So the enemy continues to devour those for whom Christ died and the American church does little or nothing.

The real enemy of souls is seen everyday through his handiwork. He kills 26,500 children a day from poverty related illnesses. He drags entire people groups into hopelessness and despair. He devours entire countries through warlords and drug cartels. He leaves children orphaned through those same wars and diseases like AIDS. And he blinds people to the Gospel of Jesus Christ that is their only hope and salvation.

And the church, who is the body of the living Christ, turns its weapons on itself instead of firing its bullets right into the heart of the enemy. The church who could change this world in Jesus’ name does nothing to stand against the Devil’s schemes.

Jesus taught his disciples to pray the following:

"'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

What if we stopped seeing this as a prayer for the world and started seeing it as a prayer for God’s people? Then we would realize that it is our responsibility to bring God’s kingdom to this world by accomplishing His will through our obedience. And, when that happens, the enemy will not be able to retreat fast enough as God’s will covers the earth like a flood.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done through me on earth as it is in heaven!

Home Again…For A While

As I type these words we are at approximately 36,000 feet on a Delta MD88 headed from Atlanta to Washington Dulles. As always at this point, Wanda and I are experiencing mixed emotions. We cannot wait to see our kids who are waiting for us in Pennsylvania, so we are anxious to get there. But, having said goodbye to our children at Hermano Pedro this morning, we are also hurting.

Over the last several days we have visited some wonderful ministries and had key meetings that have refined our vision and provided us with some much needed guidance. We also had the privilege of checking Gloria and Louis out of HP and spending our last afternoon in Antigua with them in the park. What a wonderful time we had with them putting their feet in the fountain, eating ice cream, and simply holding them without nurses looking over our shoulders! (Louis and Gloria are two of our 40 or 50 favorites!)

One thing that makes our departure from Guatemala easier is that it is taking us one step closer to getting there full-time. When we return home our lives will be filled with activity as we sell off our possessions, make home repairs, and put our house on the market.
And as we complete this checklist we do so with clearer direction as a result of this trip.

As I stated in an earlier post, this trip has answered some questions while also providing us with additional ones. However, we realize that these new questions are just a part of our journey to Guatemala.

As we jump whole-heartedly into preparations for our move I would ask you to please pray for us in the following ways:

• We are prayerfully considering a partnership with an existing orphan ministry in Guatemala. This partnership would enable us to function under their association as a licensed care-giver for children and avoid lots of red-tape. Please pray for God’s guidance on both us and the ministry.
• Please pray for God’s continued provision for our family during this transition. We will have to make at least one more trip (likely two) to Guatemala to meet with a ministry board and secure our housing. In addition, there are necessary expenditures in preparing our home to sell. Finally, there are lots of cost involved in the actual move. Please pray that God will meet each of these needs at just the right moment.
• We will be attempting to sell our home without the assistance of an agent. Due to the current state of the housing market we have lost much of the equity in our home and we need the 6.5% fee for our move. Please pray that God provides a buyer at just the right time.
• Hope for Home Ministries’ Board of Directors continues their search for my replacement. Please pray that God will lead us to the right person for the job.
• Also, please pray for the children of Guatemala. Under the current international adoption shutdown special needs children are suffering the most. In addition, Guatemala is now experiencing drought conditions that have driven up the cost of food. This means that the country’s poor are struggling more than ever. And in a country that has huge numbers of malnourished children, this is catastrophic.
• And, as always, please pray that the church of Jesus Christ will rise up and truly be the Church in the midst of a dying world.

More to come! Thanks for following and praying!

Daryl

Bubbles, Squirt Guns & Guidance

God is apparently teaching me patience and preparing me for life in Guatemala. This is my fifth attempt to post this blog but I have been unable to do so for the last three days due to unreliable internet access, so there is a lot to cover!

The last several days at Hermano Pedro have been some of the most rewarding times of ministry we have ever experienced. We have seen major breakthroughs with several of the kids through the use of bubbles and squirt guns. (Yes, you did read that correctly…bubbles and squirt guns!)

On Thursday we brought a few bottles of bubbles to blow with the children only to find that it was a big hit with one of the older residents, Miriam. She is a normally sad young lady who seldom smiles or laughs unless her family is visiting. So we were greatly surprised when we blew bubbles all around her and she broke into unrestrained laughter. From that point forward Miriam opened up to us and began to smile whenever we entered the room. It is so wonderful to see the happiness in her eyes!

Those same 99 cent bubbles also brought Lionel out of his shell following a series of seizures that left him mostly unresponsive. As soon as the bubbles began to fly, so did his breathless laughter!

Another great idea we had was to bring in squirt guns. It nearly got us into trouble with the nurses, though, when Maynor grabbed one and wheeled into the wards to shoot the other kids still in their cribs! We laughed as we heard the happy squeals from those rooms and the voice of a nurse chasing him out! Isn’t it great when kids get to be kids? All of the older kids turned their guns on me soon after, so I donned a plastic poncho and took them all on. I don’t think I have ever heard that much laughter in the halls of HP. Thank you, God, for such incredible times with these incredible children!

The last few days have also been filled with numerous meetings. On Friday we met with Donnie Hernandez, one of the directors of Casa Bernabe. This wonderful family-based orphanage cares for and educates 160 orphans in the name of Jesus, and they have expressed interest in a possible partnership with us to establish a home for children with special-needs. We had a wonderful time together as we shared our hearts and visions with one another. At first glance Casa Bernabe seems to be a good fit for us and us for them. However we need to hear from God before proceeding. So we are taking time to pray and seek God for His will. On Monday we will be traveling to Casa Bernabe to see their ministry in action. Please pray for God’s guidance for us and them.

Saturday we met with Dick Rutgers (www.dickrutgers.com) to seek his wisdom as someone who has been on the ground in Guatemala for ten years ministering to children. It was a great time together as Dick challenged us with good questions and great advise. I thank God for his example and the lives he touches with Christ’s love.

Saturday afternoon Dick dropped us off at Casa Jackson, a home for malnourished children in Jocotenango. We spent time holding children and enjoying their presence. Leaving was hard, though. When we laid them back in their cribs and waved goodbye many of them began to cry, leaving us wondering if we did more damage than good.

From Casa Jackson we hired a Tuk Tuk to drive us back to Antigua. (A Tuk Tuk is a three wheeled motorcycle that is enclosed.) It was a bumpy ride that involved several near accidents, at least from an American perspective. We will get to enjoy this experience again on Tuesday when we travel to the Scheel Center via the same mode of transportation.

In the midst of all of this we also found time to meet with a realtor and view several homes that are for rent. In that process we found a nearly perfect one for our future ministry and were very excited about it. However, after some time to think and pray about it we realize that it is not God’s direction for us.

One thing that God has shown us during this trip is how little we need to know in advance. God seldom gives a road map for His call. Instead, He prefers to keep us close by his side and show us where to place out foot next. And that is a good place to be. In fact, as we face this major transition for our family and ministry it is easy to become overwhelmed by all the unanswered questions. Yet we can lie down and sleep peacefully tonight knowing that the One who planned the journey is holding tightly to our hands.

Goodnight from La Antigua, Guatemala!

In Front of People

Today was the 25th Anniversary of Hermano Pedro. The normally drab place was decorated with balloons and streamers. A mariachi band was hired to play music early and a series of bands are scheduled throughout the day. The children were dressed in the finest clothes available and none were left in their cribs.

We were there early and then had to leave as we had an appointment in Godinez, so we missed the middle portion of the celebration.  But while we were there we saw plenty of officials and dignitaries stopping in for their moment in front of the cameras. I assure you that most of them have seldom graced the halls of the wards and do not know a single child by name.

The upside of today is that the children were treated much better than the typical day. They were not sentenced to their cribs at noon and the meals they ate were better than the usual fare. They even had cake and candy. And yet I found myself gritting my teeth and desiring to “cleanse the temple” and expose their hypocrisy.

I was reminded of the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:1:

"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of people in order to be noticed by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” (ISV)

If only these officials and dignitaries could understand the joy and satisfaction of simply loving these wonderful children for who they are. If only the nurses could see the need to keep these little ones out of their cribs for more than a few hours every day. If only these people could love these children simply because God loves them, whether the cameras are present or not.

Tomorrow will come and the typical schedule will resume. No music. No decorations. Just the mind numbing drugs and long hours in cribs.

Dear God, please raise up an army of your followers who will love these precious ones when the party is over and the cameras are off.

In the midst of our day we spent four hours driving to and from a ministry called Safe Homes for Children. Our trip there and back was filled with mountains, twists and turns, and steep drop-offs that kept us praying much of the way. But the journey was worthwhile as we felt God’s hand upon it and experienced some very clear direction for our coming move and ministry.

Please keep the remainder of our trip in your prayers as we continue to seek God’s definite direction.

Coming Home Again

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

  Wanda and I are back home in Guatemala . We have flown in for 10 days in order to make preparations for our coming move here and to determine ministry direction. The next week or so will be filled with meetings with real estate agents and ministry leaders. And every free moment will be spent with our wonderful little ones at Hermano Pedro.

We arrived yesterday afternoon, settled into our motel, and immediately headed to HP to see the kids. It was so wonderful to see the recognition and excitement in their eyes when they saw us. We realized anew God’s call to this place. The only thing that would make it perfect is having the rest of our kids here with us. But that day is coming!

We were exhausted after a long day (we were up at 3:30 am to catch our flight out of DC) and went to bed early. We felt like new people when we awoke this morning and headed back to HP for a wonderful morning with the kids.

This afternoon was spent meeting with the realtor and exploring parts of Antigua that we had not yet discovered. We stumbled upon a soccer game played on gravel (Ouch!) as well as some market places that are not frequented by tourists. It was a wonderful back door tour of this very old city.

Please be in prayer for us over this time. We have numerous meetings scheduled that will be instrumental in helping us to determine specific directions for our move and ministry here. Please pray that God guides these meetings. In addition, pray that God leads us to divine appointments that are not scheduled by us but are planned by Him.

Finding Our Home In Guatemala

If you have followed this journal for a while, you have seen my growing heart for the special-needs children of Guatemala. God has continued to break me with their needs and fill me with a passion to touch their lives. What you have been unable to see is that God has been doing the same thing in my wife, Wanda. This journey has been challenging yet wonderful as God has allowed us to see the world, at least in part, through His eyes.

As a part of this journey we have also seen the American church in a new light. Living as the most prosperous group of believers that the world has ever seen, it has done very little to save a dying world in the last 50 years. But as we have gained this perspective and found ourselves angered by the lack of love shown by the church, God has been quick to convict us that we have spent 20 years in the leadership of local churches and have done very little to change things. In other words, He has told us to get the log out of our own eye first.

And so, after months of brokenness and insight from the Spirit, this journey has led us to begin a new journey together.

God has called us to move our family to Guatemala and open a group home for children with special needs. Our desire is to create a setting in which children are raised and cared for in a family atmosphere instead of an institution. Each household unit will have a husband and wife who care for children with support staff to assist. They will eat, play, and grow as a family. There is much more included in this vision, but this sums up the heart of it.

On September 15-24 Wanda and I will be flying back to Guatemala to meet with a realtor and a couple of ministries that have expressed interest in partnering with us in this endeavor. Please pray that God will guide these meetings and that we will all clearly hear God’s voice. In addition, please pray that God will lead us into meetings that were unplanned by us but orchestrated by Him.

In addition, we have begun the overwhelming task of selling most of our possessions, preparing our house and vehicles to be put on the market, and figuring out how to get the few possessions we choose to keep to Guatemala. We would appreciate your prayers for us through this process.

As we have begun to share this direction with our friends we have, at times, been disappointed with the responses. These disappointing responses have fallen into two main categories:

1. You are crazy! – You must be out of your mind to move your large family to a third world country! God would never expect you to do something like that for Him!
2. You are heroes! – Wow! It is so cool that you are willing to give up everything and care for those children! You are so noble!

In reality, it is neither crazy or heroic. (Okay, on some days we may border on the crazy side, but not because of this decision.) It is discipleship. And the fact that this kind of response to a dying world by a believers is so rare only serves to show how far the western church has strayed from biblical faith. We have honestly reached the point that we believe that Jesus gave everything to save a dying world yet believe we don’t need to give anything. So we spend out time on church-growth programs and surveys instead of loving the world around us sacrificially. Instead of becoming living sacrifices to God we have become self-absorbed brats demanding God’s blessings and stomping our feet if we don’t get them.

For that selfishness and near-sightedness my family and I have had to repent. And if American churches don’t experience that same brokenness and change their direction they will have the blood of a dying world on their hands. God does not love our buildings, our budgets, or our committee meetings. God loves the world so much He died for it. Don’t you think it is time that those who bear His name live out those same priorities?

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

- Jesus (Matthew 5:13-16)