Adjustments and Difficult Decisions

As I sit here at my keyboard my head is spinning as I look back over the last week. So much has happened and, to be honest, fatigue is infringing on my ability to think clearly. But I want to give you an update, so you will have to be patient if my words don’t make sense.

Last Wednesday evening we noticed that our little Esperanza was having some difficulty breathing. At first it sounded like a simple cold, but as the evening progressed we became increasingly concerned. Finally, at around 10:30 pm I called Dr. Augusto and he came to our home to examine her. He sent us straight to the hospital where she was admitted and placed on an IV and antibiotics as well as breathing treatments. By this point her appetite was gone and we saw her become increasingly weak throughout the day on Thursday.

By Thursday evening we had begun to say our goodbyes, believing she would die soon. I sent out a prayer request via Facebook and held her close with tears in my eyes. It was an emotional time for the entire family. But then, suddenly, she woke up and began to cry and smack her lips, demanding food. We fed her a bottle and she kept it down. Over the next 14 hours we saw her get stronger and more alert and her breathing cleared up. By the next morning at 10:00 am when the doctors came to do rounds they said that she had improved so much they were sending her home! We praise God that Esperanza is back in her home and doing well now, because there is no other explanation for her recovery apart from God’s intervention.

And, speaking of Esperanza, she finally has a real name! When she came to us, she had no birth certificate and had never been given a name. The nurses in the hospital called her Ruth, and we chose the second name of Esperanza, but nothing was official. All her documents and records simply said, “Daughter of…”

But, we have now received word that the courts have named her and given her a birth certificate. We are so grateful to the judge for allowing us to name her. So, she is now officially Ruth Esperanza!

Let’s fast-forward now to Monday when I found myself driving for three hours to the courts in Guatemala City to have a hearing regarding one of our other children, Alejandra. Monday morning traffic is always extra bad, so much of that time was spent in bumper-to-bumper traffic. We arrived a little early and waited to be called. After an hour-and-a-half we were called to the window and told that the judge did not come in that day because it was her birthday. We were then given another court date in October and sent on our way.

I would like to tell you that this is an unusual occurrence here, but it is not. Quite frankly there is a war here between the powerful and the powerless. The powerful feel little or no accountability to the people they rule, and the powerless have little or no recourse. So there is so much abuse within the system. The courts have our number and could have easily called in advance to reschedule, but they did not and will not in the future. So, this will likely not be the last wasted morning we have.

However, there is an up-side to these kinds of things. I have been praying that God would make me more patient for years, so he moved me to Guatemala. I have gained more patience in the last 2 3/4 years than I did in my previous 43 years of existence. I am to the point that when they told me that the judge wasn’t coming I actually laughed and shrugged my shoulders. What can you do? It’s Guatemala!

Meanwhile, as we were waiting for the hearing that would not happen, we received a call from PGN in Quiche. They had a little guy for our home and wanted to know if we could meet them in Chichicastenango to pick him up. We had met this boy, Christian, and his family the previous week when they had come down from Quiche to have testing. A young man, Brian McMann, who is a volunteer with the Peace Corp had been working with them. He had contacted our friends, Rolando and Lisa Monterroso, who had then contacted us.

Christian has a wonderful family who love him deeply. However, they live in a remote area of the country where there are little or no resources for children with special needs. And this little guy definitely needs resources to help him. He is almost four years old, is mostly blind and deaf and, we believe, has autism. He does not speak and cannot walk. He is prone to melt-downs and can often be self-abusive, biting and hitting himself.

His family was seeking help because they did not know how to help him. For a while they were taking him on a chicken bus for five hours one direction every week for physical therapy. But they finally decided that they were not seeing any benefits to the therapy and discontinued it. They were coming to us to ask if we could do anything to help.

After talking and praying together they asked us to take Christian into our home for a while in order to arrange for the proper  assessments, treatments and therapies. During the time that he is with us, his parents will travel down for a week every five weeks to be trained in his care and therapy. Our goal is to reunify the family after six to nine months. This would not have been possible last year, but due to a recent change in Guatemalan law we are allowed to make short-term arrangements with families in special circumstances.

With Christian’s addition to our home, life is full. Our days are filled with therapy, medicine, doctor appointments, changings, feedings, learning activities and more. In addition, due to Esperanza and Christian’s needs, our nights are pretty full as well. Esperanza has to be fed every two to three hours, and Christian is prone to waking up screaming. We are alternating nights right now with Wanda and me taking one night while Brittney, Carissa and Taryn take the next. We are in the process of arranging for some of our staff and volunteers to take a night each week as well to provide more relief and sleep to us.

In the midst of all of this, we received a call yesterday asking if we would accept two more children. One is a seven year old girl who is deaf and in a wheelchair (the courts could not further define her needs) and the other is a one year old boy with hydrocephalus and cerebral palsy.

When we received the call, both Wanda and I felt torn. We don’t want to turn them away, because we know that there are very few homes in Guatemala that are equipped to care for their needs. We fear for their future. At the same time, we are concerned about our household schedule and how it may be affecting our children, both the young ones who might feel neglected and the older ones who help share  the responsibility of caring for the children.

The other fear I face is a financial one. I don’t talk about our ministry’s financial needs much. We, instead, choose to take our needs to God and trust Him to provide by placing it on people’s hearts to give. (The only exception to this is our sponsorship program which enables US families to partner with Guatemala families through financial support and prayer.) My discussion of needs now should not be construed as fund-raising, but prayer-raising. When our home opened I knew that our monthly support was too low. Since the home opened, we have realized that the budget we set was also too low as we had underestimated the medical costs for each child. Esperanza’s hospital stay was $650.00. Her formula and medicine needs top $100 a month. Yenni and Rafael’s medicines are topping $75 each per month and their neurological appointments and testing will top $300 each. Now we need to have almost $300 of testing and assessments on Christian plus ongoing medication. Our regular monthly support is just too low. So, what do we do? Do we turn away these children or welcome them?

Before we even had a chance to ask our children what they think we received a text from our daughter, Brittney, telling us she supported saying yes to either or both of the children. She also spoke with the rest of our children and they all echoed her sentiment…they wanted us to accept the children. So our first concern of how our group home is affecting our family was put to rest resoundingly.

Wanda and I bowed our head to pray together. (We were in a parking lot in Guatemala City at the time.) As I prayed I said, “Lord, we don’t have the money for more children. We don’t even have the money for the children we have now.” But before I finished saying this, these words turned sour in my mouth.

In His still, soft voice I heard my heavenly Daddy say, “Daryl, when have you even had the money to do what I asked you to do?” And my answer was, “Never, Lord.” And He replied (with a smile in His voice), “So what’s the big deal now?”

Before Wanda and I married we committed ourselves to Jesus and promised Him that we would follow Him wherever He called us, regardless of money. As a result, we have, at times, taken significant pay cuts to follow His call. At other times, we have said “No” to opportunities that offered a significant raise. Each time God provided for us, often in miraculous ways.

When we moved to Guatemala we were underfunded and had to trust God to provide. He has, even as our ministry has grown beyond our greatest expectations. So why, after all of this time, was I allowing finances to play a role in this decision? By the time we had said “Amen” I knew that we needed to open our home to these two children and others that God would send.

As it turns out, the girl will not be joining us. A grandfather entered the picture and agreed to take her into his home. The little boy is still in the hospital, and we are awaiting the final decision from the judge regarding whether he will come to us or not.

Please pray for us. Please pray that we will clearly hear God’s voice and follow, not allowing fear to dictate our decisions. Please pray that God will place it on people’s hearts to give…nothing more and nothing less than He asks of them. And please pray that God will strengthen and protect our family in the midst of this wonderful and challenging ministry.

Thanks! Blessings from Guate!

Daryl

Loving Hope

Note: This blog post contains details and pictures of a beautiful little girl who I consider to be my daughter. Please do not share either the photos or the details apart from this blog. And if you cannot see her beauty through God’s eyes I ask you to move along to another blog.

My family and I find ourselves in one of the most challenging situations we have ever faced. We find ourselves loving little Esperanza (Hope) deeply. When I call this a challenge it is not because she is difficult to love. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She is easy to love because she is so beautiful, and that beauty comes through in every moment that we spend with her.

I love the way her mouth moves and her tongue seeks out the nipple of the bottle. I love the way her tiny face scrunches up when she yawns or cries. I love the way her tiny little fingers wrap around little finger when I hold her. I love her, and I love her more every minute that I spend with her.

The challenge is within our hearts, because we know that we are falling in love with a little girl that is dying. The same time that passes and causes our love to grow is also that same clock that is ticking and bringing the end of her life closer. We don’t know how long we have with her. It may be hours, days, weeks or months, but we know that time is coming.

She has not been sleeping well at night, so all of the older members of our household have had lots of late night time alone with her as we feed, change, cuddle and rock her. At times she cries out in pain, and in those moments I pray that God will take her quickly and make her completely whole. I also find myself praying that when I change her diaper and see her tiny, twisted, malnourished body under the clothes that swallow her whole. (She is four months old and weighs seven pounds. We estimate that four pounds of her total weight is her head, so even the smallest clothing is huge on her.)

But then there is the rest of the time…the times that I hold her close and pray that God will not take her. That we will find a way to make her comfortable, that she will feel our love and joy and peace, and that she will stay with us forever. Because, in her own way, she is perfect.

But I don’t want to love her. I want to stop my feelings and back them up. I want to remain detached and guard my heart, because I have only known this little girl for a few days, but I can’t imagine my life without her. And I don’t want to think about the day when she will not be with us or the pain that is coming with that moment. But…not love her? I would be more successful at stopping the ocean’s tide.

Forgive me for spilling my verbal tears out through this blog. I realize this in not what you signed-up for. But these thoughts and feelings are surging in my heart and I feel that I will burst if I don’t put them into words.

All of this has left me thinking more about love. Not the emotional junk of greeting cards and sentimental movies, but real, lasting and valuable love. You know, the Agape stuff. The love that keeps loving, even if it gets nothing in return but pain and heartbreak. The love that does not come and go with shifting feelings and the ups and downs of relationships. The kind of love that God’s Word talks about when it says that our God is LOVE.

The longer I live the more I realize how cheap my definition of love has been. And, with each passing year, I understand more and more about the love of God “that surpasses all understanding.” And I increasingly realize what a lousy reflection my life is of real love. If God is love then I am just a little boy trying to wear His oversized clothes and looking silly as I do.

I think God is using little Esperanza to lead me to a deeper level of love and showing me more what His love truly is. Our God loved us when we were incapable of loving Him. And He chose to love us, knowing that the price of that love was a cross on a hillside. From the moment He breathed the first Words of creation the clock began to tick that would ring in His suffering. Yet, he breathed them. And when He first breathed the word “Daryl” He knew the cost of loving me. He knew I would fail Him, hurt Him and turn away, not once, but repeatedly. And yet, He breathed…and loved. And He still does.

Over the last few days our family has started to hug tighter, encourage more frequently, and love more fiercely. This is all thanks to little Esperanza as she is showing us what is really, truly important while stripping away the things that are not. She is teaching us that “the greatest of these is love” in a way that I don’t think we would have learned otherwise. So, even as my days are filled with the roller coaster of joy, followed by heartbreak, followed by joy again, I keep falling deeper in love with my little Esperanza. And I keep reminding myself to live in the right-now of life and trust God with the heartbreak of my future.

Please pray for my family and I as we all try to do this in every moment. And please pray for our little Esperanza.

Blessings,

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew

Handle with Care

Note: A little later in this post I am going to introduce you to the newest member of Hogar de la Esperanza. Due to the severe nature of her special needs, some of you may find her pictures disturbing. If you tend to see through the eyes of humans and not through the eyes of God, please move on to the next post. She is a beautiful child, created and loved by God, and if you do not understand that truth, I don’t want you to look at her.

Also, because of that, I am asking that none of you share her photo or story apart from this blog. In other words, feel free to share this blog as a whole, but do not share her pictures or details on your own. The far majority of my wonderful readers will understand that, but if you are one of the ones who does not, please stop reading and move along.

For the last 3 1/2 weeks our rural village ministry has been shut down due to vehicle problems. My mechanic, Joaquin, has been working valiantly to get my 4-Runner on the road again, but the problems have been massive and the delays, many. However, last week I was finally able to find a good truck and made the purchase last Tuesday. It is a 2008 Mitsubishi L200 diesel that has a crew cab and lots of cargo room. On Monday of this week I picked it up and immediately went to install new tires, get it serviced, purchase a brush guard and order a cap for the back.

On Tuesday we received word that the little girl in Quiche that we have been waiting for would be ready to be picked-up on Friday, so we made the decision to leave Wednesday for San Pablo La Laguna, spend a full day of ministry there on Thursday, and then come back by Quiche on Friday to pick-up the little girl. It turns out that it wasn’t as simple as we had hoped.

Our departure on Wednesday was delayed by a necessary trip to Guatemala City to do some paperwork for my new truck.  Because of traffic, typical Guatemala bureaucracy, and a mud slide that left us sitting in traffic for an hour, I was not able to get home, load up and leave for San Pablo until 3:30. But, at last, Wanda, Brittney, Daniel and I set-out.

This trip was a great christening for our new truck. On the way up we hit rain, heavy fog, traffic, and very rough roads, but she performed beautifully. We finally arrived at our motel at 9:30 and crashed hard for the evening.

The next day we had a great series of visits with families. Her are some of the high points:

• Marta Delores – This little girl has been suffering with 5 or 6 seizures a night and has slept very little over the last three months as a result. On Wednesday we had her and three other children from San Pablo down to see our neurologist, and he gave her medicine to treat the seizures. When we arrived on Thursday morning her grandmother told us that she had slept all night long without a seizure and was still sleeping! We went into her room and carried on a complete conversation and she remained in a peaceful sleep. What a joy it is to see this little girl get some relief!
• Oscar – You may remember that Oscar is a young man who fell out of a tree and broke his back while harvesting avocados. When we found him he was suffering greatly from the worst bedsores I have ever seen. Due to pain and infections he had lost lots of weight and was malnourished. We provided him with a special mattress and cushion for his wheelchair, along with monthly bandages thanks to a US sponsor, and trained the local workers from the health center to treat him daily. When we arrived on Thursday he was sitting in his wheelchair and I believe he had gained at least 10 pounds since we first met him. His sores are much better and improving by the month.
• Michael – Little Michael and his mother are very much enjoying their new bed, provided by a sponsor. They are sleeping much better now that they are not on the floor on a crib mattress. They have become a special part of our family.

 

 

 

Back on September 6th we experience and earthquake here that shook a significant percentage of the country. We evacuated our home, ran into the courtyard and waited for the shaking to stop. We experienced no damage to our home or possessions, but others did not fair as well. Several homes were destroyed near the epicenter and many more were damaged. In San Pablo, where many homes are constructed of mud bricks, we found numerous families who had experienced damage to their houses and are now afraid that another quake will bring them down. Diego’s family, in particular, now has large cracks in all four corners of their mud brick home and are afraid to remain there. But they have no where else to go. Please pray for these families.

On Thursday evening, as we were eating supper, I received an e-mail from the US Embassy in Guatemala saying that a sink hole had opened up on uthe main road to Quiche, claiming five lives and closing the road for months. That meant that the only way to Quiche to pick-up the little girl would be a rough back road drive. So, the next morning we headed out early and made it to the city of Chichicastenango, where the back roads were to begin. Unfortunately, we arrived just as a huge Independence Day parade was beginning and could not get through. Daniel called PGN and they arranged to send us a police escort to meet us and guide us through the back roads. So, my truck was once again baptized by fire.

Finally, we arrived at PGN where we squeezed in two more people and drove another hour to the town of Joyalapa where our new little one was waiting in the hospital. When we arrived, we had a tense 30 minutes because we were told that the three people in the hospital who could sign her out had left for the day. This was after a 5 hour drive on our part and after PGN had called ahead to tell them that we were coming. Miraculously, after they received a call from the judge’s office, the necessary personnel showed up. It was then that we met our newest daughter who had been abandoned by her mother.

We were taken back to the nurses station and one of the nurses went into a storage room and rolled out a basinet with a bundle of blanket inside. At first, this made me angry because I thought they were treating here differently because of her special needs. I could not have been more wrong.

I approached her bed and slowly unwrapped my little girl and was overwhelmed with emotion when I saw her. You see, we were told that this little girl had Kleeblatt Schadel Syndrome, what others calls “clover head” and we knew that her needs were likely severe. But nothing prepared us for the suffering little girl that we discovered there.

This syndrome is caused by premature fusing of the fibrous sutures, resulting in abnormalities of the skull and facial bones. The results are a cloverleaf shaped head. This condition is very rare and she is only the third documented instance in all of Guatemala. In our little girl’s case, the resulting pressure of cerebral fluid caused her eyes to bulge severely and rendered her blind. The doctors, therefore, made the decision to remove her eyes. In addition, her ears have been stretched out of place and are down on the bottom of her cheeks. There are no observable ear openings, se we suspect she is deaf or nearly so. The doctors have made the decision to suspend further treatment, such as surgery on her skull or a cerebral shunt, deciding that, while these things could possibly prolong her life, her quality of life would be very poor. So, they have asked the courts to stop further medical intervention. The courts have agreed. The doctor told us to feed her, make her as comfortable as possible, love her and trust the will of God.

While her head is swollen and misshapen, her body is tiny. She wears preemie size diapers and her limbs are little more than skin and bones. The nurses have lovingly cared for her, and many came out to say goodbye with tears in their eyes. They also gave us two bags of clothing, diapers, bibs, blankets and formula that they had donated personally (almost unheard of here). For the last four months they have fed her every 2 to 3 hours, changed her, rocked her and loved her. I list those ladies among my personal heroes. They explained that they moved her from the regular nursery to the storage room because so many were coming by to just look at her. They wanted her to be closer to them and not be on display. God bless them!

Even with her severe special needs, her personality comes through. Her little tongue is active and she loves her bottle. She interacts with us by squeezing her hand. She is one of only two people who likes my singing (the other, Gloria, is deaf as well). I think the vibrations from my chest soothe her.

She has never been given an official name, but the nurses explained that a priest had come in and christened her with the name Ruth. In respect for the nurses who loved and cared for her so wonderfully, we have chosen to keep that as her first name. For her second name, we have chosen Esperanza (Hope). We could think of no more fitting name for this precious little child.

I cannot explain to you how much we love this little girl already. She is beautiful to us and we feel very, very protective of her. So many in this culture treat people with special needs as a curse or as monsters, but Ruth Esperanza is anything but those. She is our little blessing, and we feel honored that God has entrusted us with her. I can think of no higher privilege that God could give us. The way Brittney said it was this, “We get to carry her to Jesus.”

That is very true, and when that day comes I know that she will be with Him and be perfectly healthy. But can I be honest for a minute? I don’t want to carry her to Jesus. I want to make her better. I want to fix her head and take away her pain (she is suffering greatly). I want her to laugh. I want her eyes to dance at the sight of colors. I want her to play and believe and dream and dance to the sound of music. And I want every person to see her as I do now. And I want every person to love her as our family does.

Please, don’t write me to give me theological correction. I know she will be far better off with Jesus when that time comes. I really don’t need a lecture. I love my little Esperanza and I am hurting knowing that, barring a miracle, I will have to say goodbye to her soon. And even as I know that, I still fall more in love with her each passing minute, as does our family.

Please pray for Esperanza. Please pray for our family as we love her and carry her to Jesus.

And if some of you have read to the end of this blog yet fail to see how beautiful Esperanza is, I pray that God will open your blind eyes to see as He does.

Blessings from Guate,

Daryl, Wanda and the Crew.

Children and Challenges

Since my last update to this blog we have added two new children to our home. I want to take a moment to introduce them to you and then will give you further updates on our home and life in general.

On Monday our local judge appeared at our door. She wanted to visit our home and inform us that she was sending a child to us that afternoon. So, at around 1:00 pm Yenni showed up at our door. She is 11 years old and has been living with her grandmother and little brother for the last year. Her mother died about four years ago and her father passed away last year. Since then her grandmother has been struggling to take care of her.

Yenni has an undiagnosed syndrome that has caused both cognitive and physical delays. She is very assertive (and apparently undisciplined) so she has been a handful since her arrival. However, with each passing day we see her behavior improving. She has an infectious laugh, and our biggest challenge is trying not to smile when disciplining her. Even with her behavioral issues she is incredibly charming. But, for the moment, she requires lots of supervision.

Yenni arrived with a head-full of lice, but unlike Rafael we could not shave her head. So, Wanda and our staff have treated her twice for lice and are taking time to pick nits every day (there are hundreds of them and it takes hours and hours to completely clear her head of the eggs). We take lice very seriously because if it comes into our home it will be a nightmare to get rid of it.

Just a few hours after she arrived Yenni had a massive grand mal seizure that left her unconscious for 15 minutes. We called our doctor who is contracted to work with our home and he came immediately to our door. He examined her and prescribed anti-seizure meds until we can get her examined by a neurologist.

We had no sooner completed her registration into our home when a judge from Guatemala City called asking us if we would accept an emergency placement of a girl with cerebral palsy. We told them that we would receive her as long as they would bring her to our home. (My 4-Runner is still down for repairs and the van was in use.) So, at around 7:30 that evening Alejandra entered our home.

There is no way you can meet Alejandra and not fall in love with her. She is a happy child with a beautiful smile. She loves the attention she is receiving in our home and soaks it up like a sponge. She has some hand usage and will spend hours playing catch with us. Like Yenni, her laugh is infectious and fills our home. We have yet to hear her cry.

She also came to her home filthy and desperately in need of a bath. But, thankfully, she had no lice.

One of the heart-breaking moments of the day came along with Alejandra. The social worker who delivered her to our home also had a van full of children that were being taken to different orphanages. She apologetically explained that none of them had eaten supper and wondered if we could give them some cookies or crackers. My beautiful bride, Wanda, would never settle for giving hungry children a few cookies, so before I knew it we had a table full of children feasting on soup and french bread.

The hard part of this story is where these children were heading. You see, orphanages in Guatemala are crowded and there are very few decent places to put them. As a result, they were being sent to three different crowded, state-run orphanages, two of which have 300 children and the other has 700. Among the children who ate with us that evening was a young 15 year old mother and her young daughter(about 18 months old). The mother was sexually molested by a family member and got pregnant at age 12. This young lady was being taken to one orphanage and her child was being taken to another. She was not yet aware that she was losing her daughter.

I cannot describe how badly I wanted to just throw open our doors and have them all stay with us. But I know that our call is to children with special needs (whose circumstances are even worse than these). So as they left later that evening we wiped some tears and prayed for them.

It has been remarkable seeing the changes in Rafael, Yenny and Alejandra in the short time that they have been with us. Each day brings challenges, but also confirmation that we are doing what God wants. Rafael is becoming more interactive and communicative. Jenny is learning to use a quiet voice and extend basic courtesies. She is also becoming more curious and seems to learn quickly. Alejandra is soaking up the attention and trying new tasks for herself, including some basic sign language that Brittney has been teaching her. We are seeing God’s healing flowing into each of them in significant ways.

At the same time, our home has become an exercise in controlled chaos. Wanda and Carissa have done a fantastic job of establishing structure and organization, and Kristin and Kathlyn Beyer, Emilee Stagnaro, Emily Abner and Aura have been doing fantastic work in the home and with the children. But even with all their excellent teamwork we are still facing major adjustments in schedules and the accompanying kinks that come with them. We are now adding a doctor, social worker, psychologist and physical therapist to our schedule and they are all coming and going with regularity. Meanwhile we have added medicine charts, stretches, exercises, appointments, diaper changing, developmental activities and much more to our lives. Plus I still have much to learn about effectively managing our growing staff (pictured above during a training session). And yet, somehow, it is all good.

Our days are longer than ever now, and we end them exhausted. But even as our lives and schedules are so very full, so are our hearts. This is why God has put us here, and it is good to be living life to the max.

There are a couple of ways that you could help us if God should so lead you. First, you could pray for us through these days of massive transition. Our home will likely continue to fill rapidly, so the changes have just begun. Please pray that God gives us unity and good teamwork and that He fills our home with His presence and power. And please pray for Rafael, Yenni and Alejandra that God will continue to bring healing to their lives.

Also, would you prayerfully consider sponsoring Rafael, Yenni or Alejandra? (Rafael already has a sponsor for 1/3 of his needs.) The expenses of doctors, medicine, physical therapy and the required psychologist and social worker are not small. We estimate all of these things to cost around $150 per child each month. So if you are willing to sponsor one of them for whatever amount you can, it would be greatly appreciated. If you are interested, please write me at daryl@hopeforhome.org.

That’s all for now! Blessings from the chaos!

Daryl

Our First Child!

Yesterday Hogar de la Esperanza welcomed our first child. Rafael is seven years old and has cerebral palsy. Our ministry has been working with him and his family for around 18 months, providing food and medicine for them, so he is not a stranger to us at all.

I have carried a huge burden for Rafael because his home situation has not been good. His father abandoned his mother when he was a baby, and he has been living with his mom, grandmother and older sister in a dark and dirty home. He spent most of his time lying in his crib and the back of his head is misshapen as a result. Each time we visited him he was dirty and smelly and I wondered what he could achieve with love, attention and some education and therapy.

So, when our home received authorization we approached his mom to ask if she would like to place him in our home. We brought them to our house and let them see the place and his mother immediately agreed. So yesterday she went to PGN with Rafael’s paperwork and a letter from us stating that we would take him into our home, and everything went quickly from there. Yesterday afternoon we drove to the court and brought him home.

The first thing we had to do was clean him up. He was infested with lice and filthy and smelly. Add to all of this his malnourishment and you get the picture. We gave him a short haircut, lice treatment, two baths, trimmed his nails, and fed him a nourishing supper. We also took him to our doctor to treat a rash and an infected ingrown toenail (which is going to require surgery).

Last night we just spent time holding and loving on him. As I held him for about 30 minutes, he seizured three times, so we will be taking him to a neurologist next week for testing and medication to control these.

In addition to Rafael, there are two other children who will likely be added to our home soon (in the next week or two) and several courts that are working to place children with us. So, our home will be filling up quickly. Please pray for us through this transition.

Last night as Wanda and I were laying down in bed, I turned to her and said, “Well, we made it…to the beginning!” After all the work we have done to get to this point, we have to keep reminding ourselves that the work and this ministry are only just getting started. I am thankful for my Jesus that has walked with us through each step and who promises to stay close in the days ahead.

Blessing from Guate!

Daryl

Cancer

The other day I had a fellow Christian tell me, “Go easy on the church. It’s the only one we’ve got.” I had to smile when he said it, because I understand his meaning. At times, I can be very critical of the American church, to the point of making some wince. I am very outspoken about the materialism, self-centeredness and shallow discipleship that frequently characterizes churches in the US. So, allow me a moment to clarify with the following points:

1. I speak as a part of the problem. – For almost 20 years I served in leadership positions in Stateside churches, first as a youth pastor and later as a church planter and pastor. It breaks my heart to say it, but during much of that time I modeled the very characteristics I now despise. I was frequently self-centered, materialistic and shallow in my discipleship. As a result, the churches under my care were as well. I wince when I think back on the missed opportunities of those years and wish that I could have a “do-over.” If I was given that chance, things would be very different. But, since that is never going to happen, I can only change the present and the future. I have learned (and continue to learn) from my sin and desperately want others to learn those same lessons sooner rather than later.
2. I love the church! – I believe the church of Jesus Christ holds the hope of the world. I believe that within it lies the capacity to change the world, both physically and spiritually. I recognize that since the church is filled with imperfect people, such as myself, it will never be perfect in this life. I do believe, however, that it can do and be much better. And because I love it and bear part of the responsibility for its current state, I feel a passionate desire to call it back to the biblical standards of discipleship and stewardship. Sometimes I do it loudly with fire in my eyes, but I do it out of love.
3. I speak not of the church specific, but of the church in general. – As I write and speak about the failures of the church I am not talking about every body of believers. I know that there are good congregations that do not fit into the stereotypical churches with a 2% conversion rate and 8-10% giving to missions. I know that there are missional churches in the US that are filled with disciples who lay down their lives and their pocketbooks for the sake of Jesus and His kingdom. I praise God for them and pray that their numbers will increase. However, when you look US churches AS A WHOLE the numbers and reality are discouraging. Instead of growing through the making of new disciples and influencing the culture around us, we are diminishing is size and impact. A few churches buck this trend, but the large majority are living examples of the decline and the unbiblical priorities that have caused it.
4. Serious conditions require drastic responses. – If your doctor realizes that you have cancer, what response would you want from him? Should he give you a pat on the shoulder and some ibuprofen and tell you everything will be fine? Or would you want him to be honest and lay out a plan for aggressive treatment? As I speak with most people regarding the state of the church, the general consensus is that everything is, overall, good. Sure, we could use some work in a few areas, but everything will be fine. Every time I have those kinds of conversations my mind goes to another church which felt the same:

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.”

- Revelation 3:14-19

Those are hard words. In fact, some might be tempted to say that the speaker (Jesus) didn’t love the church in Laodicea because He spoke so harshly. But nothing could be further from the truth. He saw the cancer in his bride and He addressed it.

If we truly love the church we have to be honest about the cancer that exists within it. We have to recognize that we have allowed the culture that surrounds us to shape it more than Scripture. We have to look, not to the cultural understanding of what the church should be, but to the Word of God to determine our true condition and then allow God to do the work required to conform us into His image. In many case, I believe this will require a tear-down and rebuild, but the results will be worth it.

It is so easy for us to divorce ourselves from the church and speak of it in third-person. But, in reality, we are the church. So, as we seek to address the cancer in the church we must start with ourselves and our own families. Are we modeling true discipleship and biblical stewardship, or are we living the American interpretation of those things? If the entire church was a macrocosm of our lives and priorities would it be healthy, caring about the things for which God cares? If not, let’s start in our own hearts and own homes and let it spread from there.

Okay, that’s enough! Thanks for letting me clarify and share my heart!

Blessings from Guate!

Daryl

Beginnings

As I shared in my last blog, our group home is now officially licensed. As a a result, the calls are coming in seeking placement for children with special needs. On the day we received the resolution back from CNA we were called about two children needing a home. Since then we have received two additional calls and have gone to visit one of the children awaiting placement with another child to visit on Monday.

Whenever we receive a call from another group home, we have to visit the child, ask to see his/her paperwork, and determine if they are a good fit for our home. While our official license states that we are equipped to accept children with cerebral palsy, spina bifida and down syndrome, we are better equipped to care for most special needs than the typical orphanage here. Our ministry works with all types of special needs, and we have been told by CNA  that we are not limited in the disabilities we can accept.

On Wednesday we went with our Social Worker, Edy Tum, to visit some of the local judges and courts to introduce our home to them and show that we are a safe place for children. In each place we were greeted enthusiastically. We are the first ministry licensed to care for children with special needs in quite a long time, and the only one within the department of Sacatapequez. So, it appears our home will fill-up quickly. Therefore, we are trying to discern which children can most benefit from our home and care.

In addition to the children about which we have been called, we are also visiting with two other children whose families are unable to take care of them. One is Rafael, who is one of the sponsored children in our ministry. His mother and grandmother are unable to provide the care he needs, and he spends most of his time in their cramped home in a small crib. We have spoken with his mother and she is coming to our home tomorrow for a tour and to make her final decision. If she agrees, she will sign the necessary papers to allow the courts to place him in our home.

The same is true for Jenny, a little girl who was orphaned last year when her father passed away. (Her mother died 4 years ago.) Currently her grandmother is caring for her, but she no longer feels able to deal with Jenny’s special needs. So, we are hoping that Jenny will be a part of our home soon. Her grandmother lives right here in San Antonio, so this would enable her and Jenny’s little brother to visit her regularly. Please pray about these situations. Ask God to guide the right children into our home.

Over the last 16 months I have fretted and complained to God about the slowness of our licensing process. I cannot tell you how frustrated I have been as we experienced delay after delay. But looking back I now see (Surprise!) that God’s timing is perfect. Because of those delays Wanda and I were able to enjoy a wonderful time away celebrating our 25th anniversary before facing the increased work-load that the group home will demand. In addition, two wonderful young ladies, Emily Abner and Emily Stagnaro, came to us on Saturday as a part of the current team. When the rest of the team departs tomorrow they will be staying behind for the next nine months to serve with us. Their presence as volunteers will enable us to delay the hiring of additional staff and save money during a time that money is tight. God’s timing is, indeed, perfect.

Meanwhile, the rest of our ministry here is hopping. Currently we have the last team of the summer season with us, and they will be flying out tomorrow. We welcome teams year-round, but during the rest of the year they tend to be much fewer and far between.

April Clark has done a fantastic job this year of overseeing our teams. She has handled all the communication, scheduling and leadership in this area of our ministry and that has been a HUGE blessing to our ministry and me personally. Due, in large part, to her oversight, we had the best team season ever this summer. Even in the midst of our growing pains and learning to work together she kept things running smoothly and efficiently.

As a result, we have decided to up the volume of teams we accept each year. Since I am now able to step away from much of the hands-on work with the groups and focus on other areas of ministry, we can handle more groups. We are passionate about short-term service trips because we believe they open the eyes of believers and the church to the world around them and motivate them to live missionally. In the next year we hope to double our number of teams from around 12 – 14 a year to around 24. So, if you would like to put together a team for your family, church, or youth group, please write to April at april@hopeforhome.org.

In the last month we have done our normal visits with families while also delivering seven new wheelchairs to children and adults. This is my favorite part of this ministry as we see people gain a new element of freedom. Four weeks ago we delivered wheelchairs to two adult siblings who had been unable to leave their home for years. When we visited them yesterday, they were thrilled to tell us that every day they get to go outside now that they have chairs. Their family was even able to take them to a local soccer game last week, and they were still beaming about it. It is amazing what a simple wheelchair can do to change a life.

One area in which we need prayer is for our vehicle situation. I am currently shopping for a new 4-wheel drive vehicle as I can no longer put off the purchase. (A special donation designated toward this purchase will cover the cost.) Please pray that God will lead us to the right truck quickly as my 4-Runner is gasping what may be its last breaths. Meanwhile, we are seeking God for His provision for a second van as we are out of passenger space and have not even received our first child. Please join us in praying for God’s provision in that area. (And you might want to pray for additional parking space as well!)

That is all for now. As the children begin arriving in our home I will take the time to introduce them to you here.

Blessings from Guate!

Daryl